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Hello

Xinyta

Xinyta

Seeking myself in a unusual world
Hi. My name is David and I am 33 years old, going on 34. I honestly couldn't decide if I wanted to use my real name or something else, but landed on using the name of one of the characters I created. Anyway. I don't have an official diagnosis, but some digging around in various info and self-reflecting has brought me to a self-diagnosis of having Aspergers Syndrome. Though I also didn't come to this till recently. I had some consolers in High School bring up the possibility of me having it, but it wasn't really explored by me nor my parents. And with living in a highly controlling environment, via my stepmother, I really didn't feel safe asking questions about much of anything. So I really have been in the dark about everything, life or otherwise, for most of my young life.

However, just knowing that there are resources and info out there, and a community to communicate with. It's helped me realize that I am not as alone as I once thought.
 
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Hello and welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here on the forum. It’s good to have you here.
 
Hi and welcome, David. It looks like you've started feeling at home here already, that's good to see.
 
Hello and welcome to the forums! I'm glad you've found a place that helped you realize you're not alone. The people here are pretty friendly so I think you'll enjoy it here.
 
@ Xinyta, is this your quote, or someone else's? "Sometimes it feels like your own life exists outside the world.
Like watching it all from a window.
Embrace it, instead of fearing it."

This is sort of what I try to tell people on the forums. Whomever first coined the term "autism" was correct. It fits the Greek word "auto" or "self". When people feel like they don't fit in, that they are by themselves, that there is a disconnect, a "glass box", or feel like an "alien observer" out on the periphery, present but not part of, etc. These are all real things for the autistic. Then I say, "Embrace it". Stop with all the depression and anxiety. It's a destructive thing fighting who you are.

So much psychological, emotional, physical, even financial harm has been created by autistics trying to "fit in" and "be like everyone else". Although we have therapies that can help us navigate and function within this world, like life skills, my bias is that harm can be done when it comes to this idea that we also need to think and do like everyone else. Neurotypicals have a preoccupation with "sameness", much to their detriment. Look at how they treat each other, the tribalism and all that entails. Look at how anything different is seen as a threat. The world is so messed up right now because of it.

Autistics NEED to stop our efforts of trying to be like neurotypicals and be our own person. We NEED to stop the fear around others seeing us as different and their reactions. Flip that mindset upside down and embrace the idea that they are reacting to us this way because the fear us. That's why they treat us like crap, abuse, knock us down, undermine, control, etc. The fear is on their part. So, take some pride in knowing that these are fear-based behaviors, that you can be your own person, pursue your dreams, and break free. Sure,...they are going to pitch a fit,...count on it. I hate to bring up Elon Musk again, but as an Aspie who is following his dreams, look at all the disruption he has caused, all the negativity around him, all the attempts at undermining him, all the false narratives, and yet, he brushes it off, made of Teflon, and keeps pushing forward no matter what anyone wants to say about him. He doesn't care what you or I think about him. Holy crap, that is so refreshing to see.

Embrace it, and let others look at you from behind a glass window for once.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
@ Xinyta, is this your quote, or someone else's? "Sometimes it feels like your own life exists outside the world.
Like watching it all from a window.
Embrace it, instead of fearing it."

This is sort of what I try to tell people on the forums. Whomever first coined the term "autism" was correct. It fits the Greek word "auto" or "self". When people feel like they don't fit in, that they are by themselves, that there is a disconnect, a "glass box", or feel like an "alien observer" out on the periphery, present but not part of, etc. These are all real things for the autistic. Then I say, "Embrace it". Stop with all the depression and anxiety. It's a destructive thing fighting who you are.

So much psychological, emotional, physical, even financial harm has been created by autistics trying to "fit in" and "be like everyone else". Although we have therapies that can help us navigate and function within this world, like life skills, my bias is that harm can be done when it comes to this idea that we also need to think and do like everyone else. Neurotypicals have a preoccupation with "sameness", much to their detriment. Look at how they treat each other, the tribalism and all that entails. Look at how anything different is seen as a threat. The world is so messed up right now because of it.

Autistics NEED to stop our efforts of trying to be like neurotypicals and be our own person. We NEED to stop the fear around others seeing us as different and their reactions. Flip that mindset upside down and embrace the idea that they are reacting to us this way because the fear us. That's why they treat us like crap, abuse, knock us down, undermine, control, etc. The fear is on their part. So, take some pride in knowing that these are fear-based behaviors, that you can be your own person, pursue your dreams, and break free. Sure,...they are going to pitch a fit,...count on it. I hate to bring up Elon Musk again, but as an Aspie who is following his dreams, look at all the disruption he has caused, all the negativity around him, all the attempts at undermining him, all the false narratives, and yet, he brushes it off, made of Teflon, and keeps pushing forward no matter what anyone wants to say about him. He doesn't care what you or I think about him. Holy crap, that is so refreshing to see.

Embrace it, and let others look at you from behind a glass window for once.
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I did think up the quote myself. But I never intended plagiarism or to take words from anyone's mouth. It came from how I was looking at life compared to myself. What you explained is pretty well what I feel. Like an alien to the world I am born into. Disconnected. The only difference, compared to most, is that I never learned about living life instead of existing. Which isolated me more.

I started thinking about what it felt like and two things came of it. The quote I made in the signature and the creation of my alien character Xinyta.

I still struggle with isolation from time to time. But, with my uncle's help, I have slowly begun the process of overcoming it, by paying more attention to myself. That on its own is a struggle. Paying attention.
 
Xinyta said:
I still struggle with isolation from time to time. But, with my uncle's help, I have slowly begun the process of overcoming it, by paying more attention to myself. That on its own is a struggle. Paying attention.
Click to expand...
Being insightful and self-aware is important. However, it has to be within the context and perspective of something positive, understanding who you are, your skill sets, learning, gaining wisdom, etc. What it shouldn't be is something negative and focusing upon your deficits, because a negative mindset leads to a negative life and all that encompasses it. How you think is important. Then there is courage, being afraid but doing it anyway. We need more courageous people in this world. There is an overabundance of anxiety in this world and it's quite crippling and destructive, on many levels.

I was watching a speaker talk about negative thinking and how it affects us. He said, "The brain does not think in negatives". Then went on to give some examples. Skiing down a hill and you encounter some trees. If you say, "Stay on the path", your brain focuses upon the path, and you're more likely to navigate safely through the forest. If you say, "Don't hit the trees", your brain focuses upon the trees and not the path, and you're more likely to hit the trees. If you are high up on a ladder and you are afraid of heights, and someone says, "Keep looking up, keep moving" you will complete the climb. If someone says, "Don't be afraid, don't look down", you will look down, be afraid, and probably not complete the climb. So, in life, if you are focused upon the negatives that could happen, you will hold yourself back. If you focus upon the positives, then you will move forward.
 
That does make sense. I do notice feeling great when I don't focus on what I have considered distractions. On other days, or at different points on the same day, I will fall back with doubts. I have come to see though that a lot of this is psychological, then solely Aspergers. Though because of that it does make it seem like one of them makes the other worse too.
 
Xinyta said:
I have come to see though that a lot of this is psychological, then solely Aspergers. Though because of that it does make it seem like one of them makes the other worse too.
Click to expand...
You can do some scientific research on this topic, but autism is one of the "low dopamine" neurological conditions. It's been studied well. Having said that, you are correct that there is a secondary psychology to autism that has a primary cause, low dopamine. So, like you pointed out, being self-aware is important because we can have this tendency to focus upon the negative things in our lives, some exhibiting the "perpetual victim" mentality, which is crippling and destructive. I wish there was a "reset" button somewhere in our brains that when we wake up each morning, all the negativity from the previous day is forgotten. Clean slate. New day. I am thinking though, it takes quite a bit of self-meditation and positive thinking. Like you suggest, "pay attention", be aware.
 
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