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Hello

kikacurls

New Member
Hi I’m new here. I am a 45 year old straight woman. I’m married and have four kids as well as an adopted daughter that is really my niece. I just got diagnosed with autism and ADHD Inattentive

. Relationships are very difficult for me and have just gotten harder. I have always had this thing where I over talk and over share and feel super anxious when it’s quiet. In my twenties my husband told me I never let other people talk. So I started trying but I tend to interrupt people and go on tangents.

I am at the point where I just don’t want to socialize anymore because it’s just so much work. I take things very literally and have a hard time letting go of things or deviating from what I think things are supposed to be. I’ve often been told I wasn’t smart or that I was weird. I have a hard time understanding people’s expressions and reactions. But I try to maintain a happy helpful personality.

It’s hard for me to compromise or be able to understand things when people are trying to imply things or don’t say them directly. It’s just hard to have relationships with people when you don’t understand each other. I want to be able to have positive relationships with my husband and my children.

My husband doesn’t really agree with my diagnosis. It’s been difficult all around and I don’t know how to feel. I want to feel relieved because now I understand that I’m just different and I think people being different is a good thing. I think if everyone was the same the world would be the most boring place in the world. Our differences are what make us unique and interesting. Also, understanding why I am the way I am should make me feel better. But thinking that no one will ever understand me or except me is kind of stopping all that.

Can anyone else relate to this?
 
A great many of us here can relate to what you're saying. Welcome to the forum.

I also found myself less inclined to socialise and less tolerant of many things as I got older.

 
I definitely do feel like I’m too old to worry or stress constantly about other people. I will definitely check this thread out too. Thanks so much for sharing.
 
Hello and welcome @kikacurls. I hope you find yourself feeling understood and not so alone here. Let us know if you have any questions figuring out the site.
 
HI and Welcome @kikacurls

One thing I love about this site is that people use langauge or words/names in ways that I am unfamiliar with.
Your post did this for me today - ADHD Inattentive - was a new phrase to me, but a quick look on google gave me some more info. Thank you or this prompt.

Hopefully you will find folk in here who prompt you with other ideas, perspectives, experiences.
 
welcome,

I can relate a lot with the part about taking things too literal.

I am bad at communication, so I cant help much there... sometimes I just let people talk, my trick is to ask back a random thing the other person says, usually that makes them go deeper on that topic and then just eventually repeat with a question... that is my main trick...

Your husband disagree with your diagnosis?
 
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welcome,

I can relate a lot with the part about taking things too literal.

I am bad at communication, so I cant help much there... sometimes I just let people talk, my trick is to ask back a random thing the other person says, usually that makes them go deeper on that topic and then just eventually repeat with a question... that is my main trick...

Your husband disagree with your diagnosis?
I really like your trick and it makes so you don’t feel like you have to always carry a conversation. My husband is getting there. I can’t read people well. But I do not have sensory processing disorder. I just have autism. He thinks you have to have both to be autistic. Although, I do have sensitivity to light I didn’t always have it. When I was younger and now that I’m getting older I seem to be affected more.
 

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