Hello!!!

[melissa meyer]

I am a single mom of 2 boys ages 7 & 3 (almost 4).... My oldest son, Landon, has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's, anxiety, and has been on meds for ADHD for over 2 years now. Landon has definitely not had a "not so easy" childhood. He has watched me be physically abused, emotionally abused, and more. He is the most amazing little boy in the world, and he is VERY smart- in 1st grade he is reading in the 3rd grade level, math skills in 2nd grade (stuff they haven't learned yet), and is ALWAYS wanting to learn.... My 3 year old is quite the man! Ha ha.... He has epilepsy, ITP (from epilepsy meds), RLS, and to top it off- his dad does not want to come to terms that he has the epilepsy. The question I have for anyone who can help is..... Although, since the time he was 2.5/ 3 yrs.' old- Autism/ Asperger's has been questioned multiple times, been evaluated at our state University hospital, where they mentioned he could "possibly" have it. Now that he is in school, things have gotten progressively worse with things. Just to name a few he gets extremely irritable at the drop of a dime and explodes (has even chased someone around with a screwdriver, thrown chairs, shoved tables into people, etc.) but does not know "why" he did it other than he was mad and wanted to hurt someone. At the point where he completely "blacks out", there is NO talking to him. His main goal is let his anger out elsewhere. Also, his socks have to be a certain kind, the certain way or it is not happening. His shirts cannot have any embroidery on them whatsoever, his pants have to be baggy and with big pockets, his sleeves have to be the right length, his coat has to zip up a certain way, etc. His food, has to be separated and he is EXTREMELY picky on what he does actually eat. His toys, video games, action figure guys, etc. have to be exactly where he left them (and trust me, he notices any little thing). The route to school every morning has to be the same. He is extremely worried that "people are watching him" when we go out of the house. Everything has to be to the T the way it was before. Now, he also has SEVERE asthma, so I'm sure you are aware that when this all "happens" he ends up hyperventilating which causes him to get admitted needing oxygen. I want to know, how can I help him through these things, is there anything I can DO? Are there diets to try? Which books (if any) are good to teach me through this, with him? ANYTHING, will help greatly!!! Also, his new thing is stealing money from me, his dad, and grandparents. He will lie about where he got the money from but eventually will tell me where he took it from, he knows it is wrong, he knows that he should not steal. When it is mentioned, everything turns into a physical battle with him... I don't know what to do! Thank you and sorry this is so long!

 

[wyverary]

Glad you found us, Melissa, and welcome.

I see you have found our parenting section. We have a lot of parents, as well as a few experts themselves, and I hope they can help you out. Please feel free to ask for any advice you might need.

wyv

 

[Salmongirl17]

Welcome!!

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

I hope you're able to find the answers you need on here. If you haven't already, I recommend also browsing the recourses suggestions page:
Asperger's & Autism Books | AspiesCentral.com

Any books written by Tony Attwood are good.

 

[Warwick C]

Welcome Melissa, it sounds like you have a lot on you plate.

 

[@iam_cloud]

I am a single mom of 2 boys ages 7 & 3 (almost 4).... My oldest son, Landon, has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's, anxiety, and has been on meds for ADHD for over 2 years now. Landon has definitely not had a "not so easy" childhood. He has watched me be physically abused, emotionally abused, and more. He is the most amazing little boy in the world, and he is VERY smart- in 1st grade he is reading in the 3rd grade level, math skills in 2nd grade (stuff they haven't learned yet), and is ALWAYS wanting to learn.... My 3 year old is quite the man! Ha ha.... He has epilepsy, ITP (from epilepsy meds), RLS, and to top it off- his dad does not want to come to terms that he has the epilepsy. The question I have for anyone who can help is..... Although, since the time he was 2.5/ 3 yrs.' old- Autism/ Asperger's has been questioned multiple times, been evaluated at our state University hospital, where they mentioned he could "possibly" have it. Now that he is in school, things have gotten progressively worse with things. Just to name a few he gets extremely irritable at the drop of a dime and explodes (has even chased someone around with a screwdriver, thrown chairs, shoved tables into people, etc.) but does not know "why" he did it other than he was mad and wanted to hurt someone. At the point where he completely "blacks out", there is NO talking to him. His main goal is let his anger out elsewhere. Also, his socks have to be a certain kind, the certain way or it is not happening. His shirts cannot have any embroidery on them whatsoever, his pants have to be baggy and with big pockets, his sleeves have to be the right length, his coat has to zip up a certain way, etc. His food, has to be separated and he is EXTREMELY picky on what he does actually eat. His toys, video games, action figure guys, etc. have to be exactly where he left them (and trust me, he notices any little thing). The route to school every morning has to be the same. He is extremely worried that "people are watching him" when we go out of the house. Everything has to be to the T the way it was before. Now, he also has SEVERE asthma, so I'm sure you are aware that when this all "happens" he ends up hyperventilating which causes him to get admitted needing oxygen. I want to know, how can I help him through these things, is there anything I can DO? Are there diets to try? Which books (if any) are good to teach me through this, with him? ANYTHING, will help greatly!!! Also, his new thing is stealing money from me, his dad, and grandparents. He will lie about where he got the money from but eventually will tell me where he took it from, he knows it is wrong, he knows that he should not steal. When it is mentioned, everything turns into a physical battle with him... I don't know what to do! Thank you and sorry this is so long!

Mellissa, just recognizing that there is something wrong / different about your son is a huge step. And you should be commended for that. As someone recently diagnosed as Aspie, I can say that I see a lot of similarities be your son and myself as a child. I would scratch myself raw if my shirts had tags or if the seams on my socks weren't place just right. It would get to the point that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. Real help only recently came for me when my mom helped me to recognize my triggers.

As a kid, I loved the weather (still do) and would stand in the pouring rain for hours just calming myself. My mom would take me to the snow and watch me sit there, calm and happy. My dad on the other hand... He still refuses to recognize that it's not something he can fix. ASDs, like most NAT "conditions", are something you adapt to and cope with. The best thing you can do for your son is to recognize that he's not sick. He's wired differently. Just help him recognize and acknowledged that in himself. Know that it will get better with time. And just love him for who he is, not for who he's supposed to become.

 

[Dan Metevier]

Welcome. I am primarily a trauma therapist who is just beginning to learn some things about autism/aspergers. At the risk of seeming like a hammer in search of a nail, I made note of your saying that Landon "has watched me be physically abused, emotionally abused, and more." While it sounds to me (I admit I am diagnosing from my armchair) like many of the behaviors you describe stem from a neurological condition, I would not discount the possibility of some effects stemming from PTSD-like situations. An interesting study was done on "adverse childhood experiences" or ACE and the potential effects of childhood abuse (in this case witnessing your abuse) on many physical and mental health factors. Here is a link to some information about the study: Health Presentations - Home Hope this gives you food for thought.