Hello

[Zidiane]

I'm not sure how often I'll be here but I thought maybe I should make an introductory post. Even though I don't see the point of these in an online forum.

My internet name is Zidiane, I'm a 23-year-old male. I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome in 5th grade. I knew I was unique to my peers at a young age (first I can recall thinking that is 1st Grade), and was heavily bullied in grade school (starting around 3rd grade) as a result of that difference. I knew that my aberrant state was the most probable cause of my being ostracized from my schoolmates. While I don't remember the exact moment I made the choice, I did end up deciding to study the differences between me and the normal people, at first to just understand the difference (little did I know how monumental the task was). I used both live interactions and expressions I observed (such as watching people's faces during movies to understand which expressions were natural during certain scenes) and fictional ones (I used cartoons and tv shows as extra study material, and I believe they did help), and ended up focused on attuning myself to a more normal demeanor.

I've believe I've taught myself pretty well. I'm to the point where I can now recognize and correctly respond to many things I was told would forever be impossible for me to grasp. I believe my self-reflection has surpassed most of the other "normal" members of my species (I'm able to almost auto-correct my behavior depending on responses, and even notice things without outside responses), and my ability to understanding the exact problems with an interaction has also possibly surpassed them as well (need to experience more to be sure, but I can pinpoint the problem in other people's relationships with others almost at a glance).

I'm not without flaws, of course, and there are many things still wrong that can be fixed. I also haven't fully learned to deal with all the quirks of my diagnoses, at least to the point where I can function in a social environment without being adversely affected. That's why I'm here on the forum, hopefully my fellow "Aspies" (a term I'd never heard before recently, it's still foreign to me) can help lead me to better covering up my weaknesses.

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard. It's good to know the difference and how to adjust. I was undiagnosed until 33, and I similarly self taught recognition and correct responses with NTs (neurotypical.)

 

[Zidiane]

NT, huh? Another strange phrase. Does it account for those with ADHD or Bi-Polar or some other uncommon mental configuration as well?

 

[Rocco]

NT is broadly applied, I believe. Are add ADHD and bi polar more neurological differences than a typical?
I am uncertain, to be honest, but my definition is that of:
One who is not drastically or adversely affected by emotional or mental differences in comparison to the general population.

 

[Rocco]

This is how I see it
Normal



Spectrum

 

[Judge]

Neurotypical as in non-autistic people. Those not on the spectrum. One can be bi-polar or have ADHD or other neurological conditions without any forms of autism.

Equally one with a form of autism can have comorbid conditions like OCD or depression...as do I.

 

[Zidiane]

NT is broadly applied, I believe. Are add ADHD and bi polar more neurological differences than a typical?
I am uncertain, to be honest, but my definition is that of:
One who is not drastically or adversely affected by emotional or mental differences in comparison to the general population.

So, by your definition, one day I could fit the definition of an NT?

I'm just trying to make sure I use these new phrases appropriately.

Quick look at Wikipedia gave me this. "The term eventually became used for anyone who does not have atypical neurology: in other words, anyone who does not have autism, dyslexia, developmental coordination disorder, bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD, or other similar conditions."

 

[Rocco]

Wiki sounds better than what I said.

Perhaps there is no turning back, like final death, atypical neurology is permanent. As far as I know.


I must say as a disclaimer, I am not an authority on autism, or anything else. I just shared my interpretation of the words. I never saw the wiki definition before.

 

[Ereth]

So, by your definition, one day I could fit the definition of an NT?

If you're asking if you could pass in society as neurotypical (I really hate using the word "pass" in this context, as it brings to mind the injustice of the old---but not totally dead---demand for ethnic minorities to "pass for white," but I have no good alternative), then I suppose so. But if you're asking if you could physically reverse your autism, then no. Your brain's just wired in a certain way.

Now, I have heard of quite a few cases of children "outgrowing" their autism, but generally speaking, it seems to be a rare thing.

 

[Zidiane]

If you're asking if you could pass in society as neurotypical (I really hate using the word "pass" in this context, as it brings to mind the unjust demand for ethnic minorities to "pass for white," but I have no good alternative), then I suppose so. But if you're asking if you could physically reverse your autism, then no. Your brain's just wired in a certain way.

Of course. I would never want to reverse my autism, it affords me so much more than I believe I would have gotten otherwise (thoughts, observations, self improvement, focus) in exchange for things I'm learning anyway. I was simply asking, as Rocco's definition was so broad, if it would describe me one day. Which would indicate that a new definition of the phrase would be needed if I were to use it, since I'm definitely not what NT seemingly refers to, which is why I google'd it and got the wiki quote.

 

[Judge]

I have spent a lifetime of attempting to "pass" for an NT. I find it mentally and emotionally exhausting. I did it to get by. Never with any expectations of ever "fitting in". For that to happen would require a two-way understanding. For NTs to accept me on their terms, and for me to accept myself on their terms.

I've never felt comfortable on their terms and never will. Even if it was handed to me on a silver platter! The difference is that now I understand why, and I accept the reality of my situation. For better or worse, I AM on the spectrum. It is what it is...whether I love it or hate it.

That said though, I truly believe that self-awareness is the best asset an autistic person can have. To know your strengths and limitations. And use both to YOUR advantage.

 

[Zidiane]

It is exhausting learning new meanings, but I've trained enough that just acting like an NT is not exhausting. It's like learning another language, is the way I look at it. And like learning another language, I think I was greatly assisted by the fact that I started learning young.

I don't look at it like "I have to learn this other language to be accepted", I look at it like "I have to learn this other language to communicate my needs and understand theirs effectively". Cause when you live in a foreign land, you need to be able to speak the language. "Passing" for normal has never been my goal, just like I wouldn't "pass" for knowing french, my goal has always been to identify the differences and become better capable of using that understanding to function better in a NT society. I feel like that's also different from doing it to get by. My goal isn't to do it enough so they don't look at me funny, it's to be able to better connect with people I want to connect with.

Of course, maybe this ended up being my obsession, instead of many of the other things that an Aspie could obsess about.

 

[Nitro]

I believe that maybe they outgrow what is considered a very subjective diagnosis,but it still comes with tradeoffs where other symptoms increase that are not considered as autistic by the diagnostics now in use if that makes any sense...The diagnosis is based on opinions as well as the use of comorbids which are opinions too...

I have just added another subjective opinion into the mix that could be wrong as well

 

[Ereth]

I believe that maybe they outgrow what is considered a very subjective diagnosis,but it still comes with tradeoffs where other symptoms increase that are not considered as autistic by the diagnostics now in use if that makes any sense...

It's not quite that simple. I'm certainly no expert, but I read an article in The New York Times Magazine (I believe that was it, but I'm not sure) on the subject and it's not clear why the "outgrowing" happens. That's why such cases are really being studied right now.

I'll try to find the article so I can link it here for everyone.

 

[Judge]

"Passing" for normal has never been my goal, just like I wouldn't "pass" for knowing french, my goal has always been to identify the differences and become better capable of using that understanding to function better in a NT society. I feel like that's also different from doing it to get by. My goal isn't to do it enough so they don't look at me funny, it's to be able to better connect with people I want to connect with.

When I first came here I remember meeting those very far along the spectrum of autism who viewed the very concept of social acceptance as an abstraction and little else. It didn't matter to them at all, and they couldn't relate to those like myself less along the spectrum who could be frustrated over a lack of social acceptance or having an interest in "connecting" with much of anyone.

I think you'll find here that we can be very different in so many ways...in occupying different parts of the autistic spectrum and having varying traits and behaviors at different amplitudes. Complete with introverts and extroverts....and those who struggle to emulate being NT, those who find it easy, and those who simply cannot do it or see no point in even bothering.

We're a complex lot!

 

[Nitro]

Behavioral conditioning,much like training an animal,improved functions in social and communication skills from what I understood,but probably only masked those symptoms of autism that are in the books used for diagnosis of autism...I learned to cope with the NT world over time without therapy and can communicate easily and be a social butterfly when I want to...did I outgrow it or adjust to external influence?
Studies have shown that the higher functioning groups of children with higher IQs had the most improvement with therapy but possibly because their brains changed to adapt to the conditioning and those symptoms used for diagnosis now appear to leave...it is a give and take event,they got enhanced in other symptoms not considered autism without some that would dismiss them in diagnostics at the present state...that is when the subjective part is actually damaging to the individual who may require help as an autistic and is not recognized as being autistic because of another opinion.
Once again,spectrum diagnostics have too many variables to say someone grew out of their autism by that definition,only a part of it...If you want to split hairs,there are some who still do not believe that it is outgrown,only altered outside of the textbook definition...

Autism is not black and white and cut in stone...yet

 

[Vanilla]

I'm not sure how often I'll be here but I thought maybe I should make an introductory post. Even though I don't see the point of these in an online forum.

My internet name is Zidiane, I'm a 23-year-old male. I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome in 5th grade. I knew I was unique to my peers at a young age (first I can recall thinking that is 1st Grade), and was heavily bullied in grade school (starting around 3rd grade) as a result of that difference. I knew that my aberrant state was the most probable cause of my being ostracized from my schoolmates. While I don't remember the exact moment I made the choice, I did end up deciding to study the differences between me and the normal people, at first to just understand the difference (little did I know how monumental the task was). I used both live interactions and expressions I observed (such as watching people's faces during movies to understand which expressions were natural during certain scenes) and fictional ones (I used cartoons and tv shows as extra study material, and I believe they did help), and ended up focused on attuning myself to a more normal demeanor.

I've believe I've taught myself pretty well. I'm to the point where I can now recognize and correctly respond to many things I was told would forever be impossible for me to grasp. I believe my self-reflection has surpassed most of the other "normal" members of my species (I'm able to almost auto-correct my behavior depending on responses, and even notice things without outside responses), and my ability to understanding the exact problems with an interaction has also possibly surpassed them as well (need to experience more to be sure, but I can pinpoint the problem in other people's relationships with others almost at a glance).

I'm not without flaws, of course, and there are many things still wrong that can be fixed. I also haven't fully learned to deal with all the quirks of my diagnoses, at least to the point where I can function in a social environment without being adversely affected. That's why I'm here on the forum, hopefully my fellow "Aspies" (a term I'd never heard before recently, it's still foreign to me) can help lead me to better covering up my weaknesses.

Welcome

I related very well to your story, as it is a great challenge that I myself have undergone, and am still to this day trying to perfect. I started on my journey much later in life though; not until after I had left school. I do agree that it is a rather enormous task; one that isn't given as much credit as it deserves, but it has been the most rewarding task I have ever taken on.

You'll probably find that our reasons for an introduction are more because we do have a bit of a community here. We have many regulars, and for many, we are each other's support network. For some, this place has become their sanctuary.

In case you are interested, feel free to browse our resources section, for books on AS. You can also add recommendations here: Resources | AspiesCentral.com