Help for my autistic daughter

[Addjoa Preko]

Hello I'm new here and I joined because I need help. My 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with ASD last year in January, I live in a country where mental, social and many kinds of disorders are so new or unknown to many many people. There are literally very few help you can get and many people seek help when it's too late because they did not know or never because they'll never know. That's how bad it is. My daughter currently attends a special needs school for autistic children and we hope to get some help. My daughter likes to play a lot, by herself initially and currently with her little sister, or with her toys (and she doesn't play with them right). It's always a struggle to get her to do her homework which is always colouring an object, hold her colouring pencil unless I force her to hold it by tightening by be in on her fingers, She has never sat quietly through reading her a story book.
1. Is there anything I can do to help her?
2. I'm I doing something wrong
3. I know some autistic kids are really intelligent, is this a sign she will be one with intellectual disability?
4. Will I be able to identify her abilities ( things she may be interested in and she likes music and singing it even though the words at not very clear and she hasn't spoken yet) as she grows?

Thank you.

 

[Major Tom]

Hello, I also have an autistic son. He's 6 now and still doesn't speak. He also has an intellectual disability. He does things his own way. I'm also in a country that is way behind the times as far as anything neurological or mental. It sucks because I know there's so many types of therapy he doesn't have access to.
As far as the coloring goes, I've found that forcing my son to do anything just makes him dislike whatever activity we are doing. You have to be very patient and stick to your plan and schedule. The meltdowns are really hard to take too.
The fact that your daughter is trying to sing is a really good sign that she may speak some day I think!

 

[Nitro]

Hi Addjoa Preko

I'm sure you will find information from our helpful friendly membership or find answers in our archives.

 

[china autie]

Welcome and o am glad you are here. That your daughter sings is awesome.

I did not speak until I was almost five and I started with full sentences.

Intelligence is not an exact science. Try giving her ways to communicate. Pictures of food for example or the deaf sign for "hungry." You will have to look up the deaf signs in use in or near your country because they can and do differ.

She likes music! That is very cool. Play music for her. Maybe let her play with a child version of a musical instrument.

Not playing right-- she lines things up? I did that. Now I collect things and have learned to recognize some birds, trees, flowers, and frogs.

Maybe I would not force her to color. Maybe try different crayons-- she may prefer the fatter ones to the thinner ones or something.

I might give her large sheets of paper taped to a wall, floor, or table and see what she draws on it. It is possible that either she needs more time to scribble. It is also possible that she is bored with coloring shapes.

There are apps that teach shapes and colors and stuff. Maybe try those out. Or online stuff for kids too.

Some of what passes for "treatment" here for autistic kids is rather mean. I hope that your daughter never has to experience that.

Much respect for asking about this and I am glad that you are here.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I can pretty much tell you now you're not doing anything wrong. It seems to be the general consensus with parents of autistics is that they feel like they're some how responsible. It's got nothing to do with you not weaning them properly or the food you give them and heavens forbid it is NOT down to the vaccinations.

I think parents make a big mistake early on in thinking too far down the line too early. They're only a few years old and they're concerned about things way off in the future. So if you are also doing that, you don't need to.

 

[oregano]

I once read of a young woman with autism who couldn't speak, but who sang (with words) so well that she actually performed for audiences in her area! I think the singing is a VERY good sign, figure out what music she likes and play it for her. She will likely listen (and sing) to the same music over and over, this is very common in autism, just go along and let her listen/sing to the same music as much as she likes.

In many countries the populace thinks of mental/neurological illness in terms of punishment by God(s) or being cursed by Satan or abuse by the parents or a mixture of the three. I don't know where you live, your name looks Slavic/East European and in those areas there is a lot of stigma attached to neuro disorders and it is very hard to find help.

Just let her play with her toys in any way she wants, and go along with the music/singing too, right there you have an excellent path to "connect" with her.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

1. Is there anything I can do to help her?

I'm not sure. As @oregano said, your name looks pretty Slavic/Eastern European, and there is a ton of discrimination/misunderstanding/fear against children on the spectrum, so I am not sure about what kinds of services you have in your country.

As an autistic teen living in South Carolina, I really only know the services for autistic people in the United States. Canada has those same services.

Maybe try to go to a Western European country, the U.S., or Canada. Don't go to France, though. They treat children with autism very poorly there.

Ireland, the U.K., Germany, Poland, and maybe even Finland will be a good choice.

In the U.S., your child can get disability benefits when it comes to insurance and stuff like that when she becomes an adult.

2. I'm I doing something wrong

Not much, really. Just try not to force things on your daughter.

3. I know some autistic kids are really intelligent, is this a sign she will be one with intellectual disability?

Don't trust IQ tests. They are biased towards neurotypical children instead of balancing tasks that'll challenge both autistic and NT kids.

4. Will I be able to identify her abilities ( things she may be interested in and she likes music and singing it even though the words at not very clear and she hasn't spoken yet) as she grows?

Yes, you most likely will be able to identify her abilities better as she grows. I, myself, had to go to speech therapy when I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 8 years old. Now I can speak better and express what I can/can't do and what I want to do with my life. I've never been completely non-verbal, since I started talking at the expected age, I just pointed at things I wanted to have and stuff like that when I was younger.

The singing may be a clear indication that your little girl may be able to talk a bit more in the future, too.

 

[Addjoa Preko]

Thank you very much. Concerning the colouring what do I do because that's her homework and truth be told we can sit the whole day and she'll not colour.

Welcome and o am glad you are here. That your daughter sings is awesome.

I did not speak until I was almost five and I started with full sentences.

Intelligence is not an exact science. Try giving her ways to communicate. Pictures of food for example or the deaf sign for "hungry." You will have to look up the deaf signs in use in or near your country because they can and do differ.

She likes music! That is very cool. Play music for her. Maybe let her play with a child version of a musical instrument.

Not playing right-- she lines things up? I did that. Now I collect things and have learned to recognize some birds, trees, flowers, and frogs.

Maybe I would not force her to color. Maybe try different crayons-- she may prefer the fatter ones to the thinner ones or something.

I might give her large sheets of paper taped to a wall, floor, or table and see what she draws on it. It is possible that either she needs more time to scribble. It is also possible that she is bored with coloring shapes.

There are apps that teach shapes and colors and stuff. Maybe try those out. Or online stuff for kids too.

Some of what passes for "treatment" here for autistic kids is rather mean. I hope that your daughter never has to experience that.

Much respect for asking about this and I am glad that you are here.

Thanks a lot for kind reply and suggestions.

 

[Addjoa Preko]

I'm not sure. As @oregano said, your name looks pretty Slavic/Eastern European, and there is a ton of discrimination/misunderstanding/fear against children on the spectrum, so I am not sure about what kinds of services you have in your country.

As an autistic teen living in South Carolina, I really only know the services for autistic people in the United States. Canada has those same services.

Maybe try to go to a Western European country, the U.S., or Canada. Don't go to France, though. They treat children with autism very poorly there.

Ireland, the U.K., Germany, Poland, and maybe even Finland will be a good choice.

In the U.S., your child can get disability benefits when it comes to insurance and stuff like that when she becomes an adult.

Not much, really. Just try not to force things on your daughter.

Don't trust IQ tests. They are biased towards neurotypical children instead of balancing tasks that'll challenge both autistic and NT kids.

Yes, you most likely will be able to identify her abilities better as she grows. I, myself, had to go to speech therapy when I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 8 years old. Now I can speak better and express what I can/can't do and what I want to do with my life. I've never been completely non-verbal, since I started talking at the expected age, I just pointed at things I wanted to have and stuff like that when I was younger.

The singing may be a clear indication that your little girl may be able to talk a bit more in the future, too.

Thank you for you kind reply