Hi! I need advice on how to help my 12 year old son who has Asperger's. The past couple of years have been so wonderful and he's grown so much from the little buy who wouldn't make eye contact in nursery school to a kind young man. Then over the summer his behavior changed.
First he began to have meltdowns where he would yell at my husband, his sister and I for hours at a time. At that point, the rage came from a friendship that he had ended with 2 boys that had excluded him at different times and been really mean about it.
We all understood his hurt and I confronted the parents about their children's behavior and also ended my friendship with them. It was truly a horrible situation and he just couldn't seem to accept that some people are jerks and you're better off moving on than putting more time into the relationship. He's pretty outgoing and funny and has developed some other really good friendships but he was just hyper-focused on the one negative outcome.
By August, the meltdowns had evolved into hours of him cursing at me and insulting me and refusing to go up to his room to calm down or do anything else to calm down. Now it's nearly October and he is just being verbally abusive from the time he gets up in the morning until I go to bed at night. It isn't even about the two mean kids anymore. It's like he's stuck in this cycle of rage and I do not know what to do to help him.
I've taken away so many things (iPad, phone, cooking breakfast/lunch for him) trying to gain control of this household and he just continues to rage about how unfair the punishments are. If you have experienced this and can give me perspective on what he is doing and things that have helped you or your child, please help me. I love this kid and I just want to go back to the pre-rage days. Thanks!
First he began to have meltdowns where he would yell at my husband, his sister and I for hours at a time. At that point, the rage came from a friendship that he had ended with 2 boys that had excluded him at different times and been really mean about it.
We all understood his hurt and I confronted the parents about their children's behavior and also ended my friendship with them. It was truly a horrible situation and he just couldn't seem to accept that some people are jerks and you're better off moving on than putting more time into the relationship. He's pretty outgoing and funny and has developed some other really good friendships but he was just hyper-focused on the one negative outcome.
By August, the meltdowns had evolved into hours of him cursing at me and insulting me and refusing to go up to his room to calm down or do anything else to calm down. Now it's nearly October and he is just being verbally abusive from the time he gets up in the morning until I go to bed at night. It isn't even about the two mean kids anymore. It's like he's stuck in this cycle of rage and I do not know what to do to help him.
I've taken away so many things (iPad, phone, cooking breakfast/lunch for him) trying to gain control of this household and he just continues to rage about how unfair the punishments are. If you have experienced this and can give me perspective on what he is doing and things that have helped you or your child, please help me. I love this kid and I just want to go back to the pre-rage days. Thanks!
