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Here is a thought for you.

Au Naturel

Au Naturel
If I am envious of someone, I do not want to sieze or destroy the thing I am envious of. If I am in my proper mind, I am happy for the good fortune of others. That does not stop me from wanting to achieve something for myself. The world is not zero-sum.

My happiness does not depend on whether I achieve my objectives. There is no reason to be unhappy if I don’t get what I want. Accept the world and move on. Happiness is not something to acquire; it is something you are. It is an outlook, not a consequence. And that is why many people are never happy.

I may want to be rich, young, popular, and beautiful, but I do not resent those who actually are. That is just stupid.
 
If I am envious of someone, I do not want to sieze or destroy the thing I am envious of. If I am in my proper mind, I am happy for the good fortune of others. That does not stop me from wanting to achieve something for myself. The world is not zero-sum.

My happiness does not depend on whether I achieve my objectives. There is no reason to be unhappy if I don’t get what I want. Accept the world and move on. Happiness is not something to acquire; it is something you are. It is an outlook, not a consequence. And that is why many people are never happy.

I may want to be rich, young, popular, and beautiful, but I do not resent those who actually are. That is just stupid.


I really like that. Especially that "Happiness is not something to acquire; it is something you are. It is an outlook, not a consequence"

That speaks to me and was also something that I needed to read today.

Thank you.
 
My context is there someone who is poorer, less attractive, less interesting, less this, and that. But there are just as many people that are more attractive, more wealthy, more smarter, more energetic, and just have more connections, nicer cats or dogs, cooler love interest then me, SO l feel just scale back and love your life and be humble. I am super thankful to those who decided to ride the life merry-go-round with me despite all the available possibilities for them and even the huge odds against them in trying to get close to me.
 
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If I am envious of someone, I do not want to sieze or destroy the thing I am envious of. If I am in my proper mind, I am happy for the good fortune of others. That does not stop me from wanting to achieve something for myself. The world is not zero-sum.

My happiness does not depend on whether I achieve my objectives. There is no reason to be unhappy if I don’t get what I want. Accept the world and move on. Happiness is not something to acquire; it is something you are. It is an outlook, not a consequence. And that is why many people are never happy.

I may want to be rich, young, popular, and beautiful, but I do not resent those who actually are. That is just stupid.
I have always been a jealous person but I've very seldom acted on it. Instead I just take it out on myself and beat myself up for not being like them.

Okay, once I acted harshly to a cousin of mine, not because of jealousy so much, but because I felt so insecure for who I was and hated being the only Billy No Mates in my family who never went out. I was only 19 at the time, which is a very difficult age for Aspies or people with social anxiety, because it's the age where you're expected to "be out having fun" and sitting in your room every weekend night indicates there's something wrong with you and you're not normal. I found comfort in knowing I had a cousin who was also a Billy No Mates, until I saw on his MSN profile something like "had a fun night last night clubbing with the hot girls!" which meant that he had gone out clubbing, and probably with at least one friend. Just like a normal 19-year-old.

I freaked out and didn't know where to put myself. I wasn't sure whether to attempt suicide or take my insecurity out on my cousin. Unfortunately I chose option 2 out of "fight or flight" response, and wrote quite a nasty message to him including profanity.
He sent a message back asking "what the hell??" I can't remember what was said after that but I finally calmed down and apologised and he forgave me immediately.
But to this day I still feel guilty of behaving like that towards a family member who done nothing wrong, even though it was some 15 years ago. He might have forgotten it, but then again, he might not have. You don't know what people forget and what they don't unless you ask them, but I haven't liked to bring it up to him since, and he hasn't mentioned it either.

I've never acted on impulse in an aggressive way like that since. When I first found out my sister was pregnant I went bonkers but I didn't let her know that. I was crying my eyes out, feeling like a loser and beating myself up, whilst at the same time texting her lovely messages so that from her end she only saw love and kindness from me.
Don't worry, I've gotten over that now and have adapted to the fact that she's pregnant, and I've even excitedly gone out to buy clothes and toys for when the baby is born.
 
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There's a lot of conversation within the realm of "social justice" about equity, equality, fairness, etc. It's often rooted in jealousy and envy. Some people can get really fired up about it. However, most of the time these same people appear unable to see beyond their own perspective. They have these "blind spots" because they are so entrenched in how THEY feel and THEIR experience, they cannot see beyond themselves. Some people are born into privilege and some not. It's nobody's fault and you can't correct that. Some people are born female and some male. It's nobody's fault and you can't correct that. Some people are born with high intelligence and some not. It's nobody's fault and you can't correct that. We can go on and on. Life is NOT fair, equitable, nor equal. Many governments around the world have tried and tried, but it only resulted in further disparities. Ironically, it made things worse. So like it or not, you can't just demand equity and equality, and then create laws and regulations with this intent without impinging further upon another's personal freedoms and going down the path of authoritarianism.
 
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There's a lot of conversation within the realm of "social justice" about equity, equality, fairness, etc. It's often rooted in jealousy and envy. Some people can get really fired up about it. However, most of the time these same people appear unable to see beyond their own perspective. They have these "blind spots" because they are so entrenched in how THEY feel and THEIR experience, they cannot see beyond themselves. Some people are born into privilege and some not. It's nobody's fault and you can't correct that. Some people are born female and some male. It's nobody's fault and you can't correct that. Some people are born with high intelligence and some not. It's nobody's fault and you can't correct that. We can go on and on. Life is NOT fair, equitable, nor equal. Many governments around the world have tried and tried, but it only resulted in further disparities. Ironically, it made things worse. So like it or not, you can't just demand equity and equality, and then create laws and regulations with this intent without impinging further upon another's personal freedoms and going down the path of authoritarianism.
You'll get a lot of people who will claim you are just trying to get the oppressed to accept their oppression. That isn't true, but it serves their purpose.

The most successful civil rights movement in the 20th century was in the 50s and 60s under Martin Luther King. I don't remember him ever advocating for jealousy or envy. King took the road of the Happy Warrior. A Happy Warrior isn't happy because of all the things they have got but rather because they know they are doing the right thing. When he spoke to the crowd on the National Mall, he didn't say, "Take the rich man's money. He doesn't deserve it. " He didn't demonize white people as irretrievably racist. Instead, he spoke about his dream. It impacted the nation far more than an angry diatribe about greed ever could.

He merely drempt of a world where "us" and "them" were "we." You don't hear that today. Political influencers push for class warfare, social envy, and cultural division. Algorithms reward hate. Anger, fear, and outrage drive more clicks than reason.

Social media may be the death of us all. The Great Filter of the Fermi paradox. It is our equivalent to the Krell machine in Forbidden Planet.

https://www.atlassociety.org/post/on-viewing-forbidden-planet-on-its-60th-anniversary
 
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Very briefly, in case you are interested, there were many people supporting and teaching King about non-violence and pacifism. One of the most influential was Bayard Rustin, a black, gay man who often chose and sometimes was pushed to the sidelines because of his sexual orientation.

And he was greatly influenced by Ghandhi.
 
You'll get a lot of people who will claim you are just trying to get the oppressed to accept their oppression. That isn't true, but it serves their purpose.

The most successful civil rights movement in the 20th century was in the 50s and 60s under Martin Luther King. I don't remember him ever advocating for jealousy or envy. King took the road of the Happy Warrior. A Happy Warrior isn't happy because of all the things they have got but rather because they know they are doing the right thing. When he spoke to the crowd on the National Mall, he didn't say, "Take the rich man's money. He doesn't deserve it. " He didn't demonize white people as irretrievably racist. Instead, he spoke about his dream. It impacted the nation far more than an angry diatribe about greed ever could.

He merely drempt of a world where "us" and "them" were "we." You don't hear that today. Political influencers push for class warfare, social envy, and cultural division. Algorithms reward hate. Anger, fear, and outrage drive more clicks than reason.

Social media may be the death of us all. The Great Filter of the Fermi paradox. It is our equivalent to the Krell machine in Forbidden Planet.

https://www.atlassociety.org/post/on-viewing-forbidden-planet-on-its-60th-anniversary
Some days, I often think that despite how far we have come in terms of "civilization", we are still three hairs from being baboons. There are these powerful remnants left within our brains, that never were genetically "weeded out" over the millennia, that makes us quite simple and primitive. Whenever there are those with the intellect and self-discipline to overcome our baser instincts, the people who rise to the top, become our inspirations, the people who show us a positive possible future, there's always others who just want to see the world burn.

I totally agree that social media was introduced to us with some naivety, a way for us to connect and share. It sounds so altruistic. Grandma can see and share photos of her grandchildren anytime she wants. So sweet and thoughtful. Unfortunately, it gave the "hidden" 2-3% of psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths a public platform. Imagine the Batman villain "The Joker" thinking to him/herself, "Madness,...all they need is a little push, and they will turn on themselves." Unfortunately, unlike the comic books, "The Joker" just might be your father, your cousin, your sister, or your mother on social media. People who appear to be "well-mannered" in their public lives, behind a computer screen, become someone else entirely.

Now, some 20 years later after social media was introduced to the masses, a generation has passed. Liberalism, conservatism, feminism have all morphed into extreme, toxic, and ignorant versions of themselves. The mainstream media figured out that controversy, conflict, and violence grab the attention of the mob. Fear, uncertainty, and doubt make up the majority of our news feeds. The nuclear family is becoming a thing of the past. Emotions take priority over logic and self-discipline. Long-term goals are replaced by immediate gratification. Basically, we are spiraling downward, we are regressing, in terms of civilization.

It is an interesting paradox, for over the next 10-20 years, we will transition to a world of sustainable energy, of a robotic labor force, air taxis, cybernetics, genetic manipulation, space travel, a world of excess where everything is available anytime we want it, including knowledge, yet, as a species, we just might regress in terms of society to that of primate tribes, a complete dumbing down, and perhaps destroy ourselves and hand it over to artificial intelligence, ushering in another era.
 
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I am prompted to ask the question, “What is this we are discussing this in?” Is it “social media”? If not, how does it differ? Do we have the means to change the public discourse in our own hands? (I think there are clues to the answers if we think about what differentiates this from Fauxbook, Instagratify, and the Unknown Twits.)
 
Jealousy was one of the first things that the Holy Spirit removed from me when I became a Christian. It used to dominate my life, but I've forgotten what it feels like now. I don't have an explanation for this; it wasn't some sort of enlightenment process. It was just gone.

I used to be jealous of people who I perceived as having it "easier." Family members who didn't have to work because they lived off other family members. People who had less severe deafness than me but never worked a job in their life because they were living off government assistance.

On the flip side, I also used to be jealous of wealth. Not in the "eat the rich" way. But in the ambitious, how-do-I-get-there way. I'd literally look at houses bigger than mine and get angry at myself for not understanding how to climb to that standard of living.

I definitely was not a good person then. Still am not. But grateful I am no longer the person I used to be.

The love of money is the root of all evil, indeed.
 
I feel jealous of people who have more confidence than me. I know people say that they work really hard to be that confident, but I don't think that's always the case. With some people confidence is wired into their personality and they don't have to make too much effort to meet the right people and land high-paying jobs. I think confidence is such a good skill and personality trait to have.
While no babies are born with any of these skills, some manage to gain them naturally when placed in the right environment (such as school), they become popular among their classmates because they just have the 'right' personality, they work hard and get good grades without too much mental exhaustion, and they become adults with the "get up and go" way about them, know how to overcome problems, have excellent social skills, aren't scared of the world, and even become knowledgeable and know what they want to do career-wise, and employers just take to them in interviews and offer them the job they want.

No, I'm not talking about NTs. Most NTs don't fit that description at all. I'm talking about people who have confidence hardwired into their personality.
Only an ableist would say "nobody lacks confidence, you can achieve anything you want if you get out of your comfort zone and try new things." It's difficult though when you're more prone to mental exhaustion and you have things like ASD, ADHD, anxiety and depression. It can hold you back compared to a naturally confident person.
 
we are still three hairs from being baboons.
That many? Steven Pinker has some marvelous insights into baboons. Seems baboons have a whole lot of free time on their hands. An awful lot of human behavior is identical. Including admiring the beauty of a rainbow, jockeying for social status, and bullying the odd kid.

We are naked apes, one step ahead of the chimps, but with nuclear bombs.
 
Do we have the means to change the public discourse in our own hands?
Nope. Humans and their history are a boat on a stormy sea. Social media is now a part of the storm and beyond our control. Technology is beyond our control. No doubt AI will move beyond our control. One can rage against the storm, but the storm doesn't care. You can only try to keep the boat afloat, maybe find a harbor somewhere.

We are too busy raging against the storm and even denying the storm is real to do that. Welcome to human nature.
 
Perhaps we need to step back and answer this question: If autistics have "disordered" socialization and communication skills, explain to me how neurotypicals have created this mess in society if they are NOT disordered? :rolleyes: Neurotypical communication is quite complex and has many layers, and is why autistics tend to struggle with this, but it's more than that, I sense. Neurotypicals tend to interpret and internalize information, in general, quite differently than us, then act upon it accordingly. Perhaps that is their "disorder".

If this is the result of what happens when neurotypicals socialize and communicate with each other, then, I don't think I want to be a part of that. I'd rather socialize and communicate with a dog,...quite literally.
 
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I am prompted to ask the question, “What is this we are discussing this in?” Is it “social media”? If not, how does it differ? Do we have the means to change the public discourse in our own hands? (I think there are clues to the answers if we think about what differentiates this from Fauxbook, Instagratify, and the Unknown Twits.)
It is a form of social media, but obviously, the format is quite different, as are the people interacting on this forum.

I believe it is an autistic trait to be intellectually curious, ask questions, and want thorough answers. Many autistics on this forum are seeking information. FB is for people who are not, as they are seeking entertainment, which allows disinformation to run rampant. A lot of one sentence responses. Nobody really wants a serious discussion. The trolls, psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths have free reign. I feel my IQ drop several points on FB.

That said, if you are dealing with neurotypicals, then NO, this format is NOT for them.
 
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Facebook ain't that toxic. I've had more grief and toxicity on the other autism website than I ever have done on Facebook. On the other site it seemed to be taken over by pathological liars, incompetent mods, consistent bullying and name-calling, and sexual grooming behaviours. Not a very healthy place for emotionally fragile people. I never had any of that on Facebook.
 
Some days, I often think that despite how far we have come in terms of "civilization", we are still three hairs from being baboons
I'd say, as a species, we absolutely are baboons!
The fact we've developed additional brain function and mass doesn't mean all that other stuff we share with other anthropoids has just evaporated away! It's all still there awaiting the relaxation of critical analysis of the conscious mind.

There will always be people jealous of another even if all were truly equal. Everything is relative.

I get jealous of what others have or can do, but not of the person themselves, it's more regret I can't do the same.
 

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