Here to learn and try to figure out what I am

[Goldman]

I don't have a diagnosis, but it has been suggested to me more than once that I may have Aspergers. I'm a 47 year old male, married with a 5 year old daughter and 20 year old daughter that is married and moved out. From what I have read about the typical Asperger's symptoms, I have most of them. I am often uncomfortable in social situations, I don't get facial expressions, body language or sarcasm. I've noticed that I think and process information differently than most people. The best way I can think of to describe it is that I think about everything I do in a flow chart with a schedule. If the schedule changes or somebody forces a change in my flow chart (tells me a specific way or order to do something that doesn't make sense to me) I have a hard time recovering (rebuild my flow chart to include the non-logical process) or at least it takes a lot longer than most people. I may not have Asperger's because I do like to be close to those I love, such as my wife, daughters, close friends. I like hugs and love sleeping with my arm around my wife and our bodies touching which seems to be the opposite of most Aspies (or am I wrong about this?). I am an expert in my field (literally hired as a computer expert for expert court testimony on a regular basis), so I'm not even sure if I want an official diagnosis in case it comes up in court and somebody tries to use it against me.

I'm mainly hoping to gain knowledge from this group to help me deal with things I'm not good at or learn how to handle certain scenarios in a more socially acceptable way.

 

[Myway]

Hello and welcome to AspiesCentral.

 

[xudo]

Welcome I hope you can find the information and answers you are looking for.

I like hugs and love sleeping with my arm around my wife and our bodies touching which seems to be the opposite of most Aspies (or am I wrong about this?).

I do not mind being touched by or hugging my husband, but other than that it makes me uncomfortable. To use a well known quote around here: "If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie."

 

[Rocco]

Welcome to the community! This is a great and helpful place. I hope you enjoy it here.
Best wishes.

 

[toothless]

hi goldman,welcome to AC-you do sound aspie from what you say.

not been able to hug is a stereotype of the spectrum,if you had to hate hugs to be aspie thatd mean I cant be what I am!
i am LFA [low functioning autistic,once severe now moderate classic autism] and I absolutely love hard bear hugs,i show challenging behaviour if people give me light hugs or hugs from behind though.

you can think of hugs as being a spectrum itself and one end is where you love hugs,the other end is where you hate hugs, and all people on the spectrum are on there at one point or another,lots of aspies and auties love hugs according to their own rules,i hated hugs and would attack people who attempted it until I was about 18 when I was given my first bear hug and after the initial burst of fear and pain I felt so relaxed and happy.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there; I am the same age as yourself (ugh) and not officially diagnosed.

Joining this forum will either tell you that you are not an aspie after all or you are indeed one and only go forward for an official diagnosis if it will be of benefit to you and those you communicate with.

Some aspies do not like being intimate; I am one who finds it very hard, but then again, I have my childhood to probably thank for that! But other aspies can be very affectionate.

In actual fact, you certainly sound like an aspie.

I often get from my NT husband: I was joking!

As for sarcasm; I think for me it is more a sense of not understanding why they have a strange tone in their voice and that confuses me. I feel that I am being mocked and hate that.

 

[WittyAspie]

Welcome to AC! You will find that very few Aspies display every single trait of AS. I, for one, appreciate and frequently use sarcasm. I also like hugs and being close to the ones I love. But there are other traits that make it clear I have AS.
However, the label is not the important thing. What is important is understanding yourself and using that knowledge to cope with the world around you.