Hereditary ASD and Conversation with my Brother

[Rasputin]

This relates to a recent conversation I had with my half brother. My father left when I was four, and remarried a year or two later. I did not meet anyone from his family until 2014, after he passed away from a stroke or aneurism. Anyway, I met uncles and aunts and three half siblings and their families. I didn't really connect with anyone then.

I am now 61 and connected with my half brother (age 52) via Facebook recently, and decided to give him a call. It was interesting, because we connected emotionally for the first time via telephone. I disclosed my diagnosis of ASD with general anxiety disorder, and he disclosed that his daughter also has ASD and general anxiety disorder, with a lot of social anxiety. His daughter sees a specialist to help her learn to cope. He then mentioned that he had similar issues, but was never diagnosed. He mentioned that one of his sister's has anxiety problems and is disabled. We also discussed the likelihood that out father had ASD because he had limited interests and could not connect emotionally with anyone, not even his children. In fact, we have an uncle who is autistic and non-verbal; my aunt looks after her brother.

I know ASD is believed to have a hereditary component. Not all of my dad's brothers and sisters had ASD, and I have many cousins who do not have ASD. But in my dad's case, it seems that all but one of his children and at least one grand daughter has ASD.

Anyway, the good news is my brother and I exchanged phone numbers, and he plans to call me. I am not sure why I wrote this post, other than to note the obvious hereditary implications.

 

[menander]

That is great news! I do hope you both can connect more. Yes, I agree. There are many scattered in my family with clear ASD. However, few disabling. I think it's a gift. I am not sure anxiety is ASD. I think pure ASD is good. My has other things and trauma from lack of early help. I hope that in the future we can see how much the anxiety of ASD is linked to social torment.

It is a mix is family. Some have sensory, some social, but ALL very intense special interests, clear giftedness in one or two areas (usually one) and smart with good memory.

Does your brother share specific traits with you?

 

[Rasputin]

That is great news! I do hope you both can connect more. Yes, I agree. There are many scattered in my family with clear ASD. However, few disabling. I think it's a gift. I am not sure anxiety is ASD. I think pure ASD is good. My has other things and trauma from lack of early help. I hope that in the future we can see how much the anxiety of ASD is linked to social torment.

It is a mix is family. Some have sensory, some social, but ALL very intense special interests, clear giftedness in one or two areas (usually one) and smart with good memory.

Does your brother share specific traits with you?

I have only met him once, and my impression was that he was a gentle giant, 6'7" and weighing over 450 pounds. He dwarfed me at the time, as I am a mere 6'3" and at that time weighed 330 pounds. Suffice it to say, despite our gentle nature we did not have to deal with a lot of bullying in school. But seriously, he and I were both very shy and socially awkward. Despite this, we learned to cope for the most part with out anxiety without any support for ASD. In talking with him we have the same health issues, and I shared my health history, supplements, and medication. I found him to be very respectful, and it was mutual. I guess I will know more after we get to know each other better.

I was diagnosed due to sensory input overload and chronic insomnia. I have sensory issues with light, and sound, and to a lesser extent touch. My brother and I have not discussed this aspect, so I don't know how he is affected. He works for an engineering firm, and I work in an IT development role. I pursued several special imterests, and I think we are both intelligent and logical in nature.

 

[Thinx]

Research has proved that ASD has hereditability of over 50%. It could turn out to be higher. However I think the way it seems to work is that for some it's clearly inherited and for others it can appear in a family with no history of it, and the reasons could be things like, an older father's sperm seems more often to have a genetic component that leads to it.

They have found that there are so many genes that can be part of the mix to produce autism that it has been difficult to clarify how this all works, and research is ongoing.

It sounds like you had really good contact with your half brother, that must be satisfying. And it's good to be able to help each other with information and ideas, and feel like you have family.

 

[Rasputin]

Following up on my initial post, my brother called today. We talked for almost three hours, running down the batteries on our phones. He and I are almost exactly alike, except that he is very slow to anger and I can be very quick to anger. Interestingly, he referred to himself as a "gentle giant", just as I did in my initial post. Another difference is that he has a lot of empathy, and said he often cries in sad situations. I have been called non-human by family members who are critical because I suppress my emotions.

He talked some about his teen aged daughter (my niece), and has concerns that she will not ever be able to live on her own. She is very naive and is easily influenced by people she doesn't know. She is honest, and automatically assumes everyone else is too. She has questioned her own sexual orientation, and at one time discussed wanting sex reassignment surgery. However, that may have just been a phase, as she is now interested in boys. Because she is socially awkward and doesn't fit in with other teens that she knows, she attempted suicide a few years earlier. She was diagnosed with ASD and General Anxiety Disorder, just as I was.

We didn't talk in depth about ASD and our special interests and routines. I sense that we will be talking a lot more on the future, and may be visiting now.