Hey fellows

[tilllight]

as a 20-year-old Aspie, I experience it as increasingly difficult to get in touch (and forge connections) with like-minded people who at the same time are genuinely familiar with ASD.

 

[tree]

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome. I think you will find people who understand what you described here. Take your time settling in and let us know if you need any help figuring out the forum.

 

[AdamG]

Hello @tilllight and welcome here to the forums. It is always good to meet new people wanting to connect. I'm an introvert on the outside world but seem to be an extrovert here. So nice to meet you.

 

[tilllight]

Hello @tilllight and welcome here to the forums. It is always good to meet new people wanting to connect. I'm an introvert in the outside world but seem to be an extrovert here. So nice to meet you.

Thank you for these welcoming words. In the real world, I tend to be reserved and keep to myself, too. I know the feeling of longing for people who know what it's like. Your description encourages me for sure, though!

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! This community is like family to me. I hope it'll be for you as well.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Hello and welcome to the forum! I hope you enjoy it here!

 

[DaisyRose]

Hello, it’s nice to meet you. Hope you have a wonderful time here.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome to the forum!

This is the first and only forum I've used since a late in life diagnosis.
It has really been helpful and finding others to relate to is great.
I think you'll like it here.

 

[Shevek]

as a 20-year-old Aspie, I experience it as increasingly difficult to get in touch (and forge connections) with like-minded people who at the same time are genuinely familiar with ASD.

I'm 74, and find it increasingly difficult to connect with people, especially across generations. I don't think social media works for the people nearly as well as it works for the advertisers. I've never met anyone really familiar with ASD - telling people about is is risky as they are likely to assume I'm just like the only other Aspie they have known. I've always found that shared interests are the road to friendship. I used roommates to help me observe normal life and get involved.

 

[tilllight]

I'm 74, and find it increasingly difficult to connect with people, especially across generations. I don't think social media works for the people nearly as well as it works for the advertisers. I've never met anyone really familiar with ASD - telling people about it is risky as they are likely to assume I'm just like the only other Aspie they have known. I've always found that shared interests are the road to friendship. I used roommates to help me observe normal life and get involved.

Thank you for giving those hints from a personal perspective. I empathize with you there - that assumptions are probably going to always exist and in the worst case dominate the perception of personalities. Then a chance to explain doesn´t exist.
Shared interests seem to me like a good path to follow, so that one can continue looking for alignments. Thank you again for mentioning examples.

 

[tilllight]

Welcome to the forum!

This is the first and only forum I've used since a late in life diagnosis.
It has really been helpful and finding others to relate to is great.
I think you'll like it here.

Thank you very much!
I hope you don´t mind me guessing there; You´ve got me intrigued, though. Are cats a special interest of yours?

 

[Forest Cat]

Hello

 

[Shevek]

Thank you for giving those hints from a personal perspective. I empathize with you there - that assumptions are probably going to always exist and in the worst case dominate the perception of personalities. Then a chance to explain doesn´t exist.
Shared interests seem to me like a good path to follow, so that one can continue looking for alignments. Thank you again for mentioning examples.

I was fortunate to be a vegetarian when I moved to a new city. Looking for co-op houses for vegetarians was easy, as the health food store bulletin boards were the preferred ad location. Having a diet in common was a shared interest and, usually, general life philosophy. Sharing meals, I got to meet the roommates' friends. That setting was an endorsement of my general character, and, presumably, gave the new friend a chance to ask a mutual friend about any quirks they noticed. Once, a complete stranger gave me a valuable package to take home, having heard about me before.
I've also met friends by volunteering for causes we both support, and by working in a field of research where mutual help between amateurs is the norm. Sometimes, that made news, and people wanted to meet me.
I have heard of many young people who have been texting so much they lack verbal skills. Maybe you can find a recovery group that just meets to practice talking. I once went bowling with about twenty non-bowlers who just wanted practice at sharing a lane, winning, losing, small talk, & etc.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Welcome. Finding community is far easier now. When I was your age in 1970, autism was rarely diagnosed. The problem was that I could experience my social dysfunction but not understand its basis. Wanting to understand things I developed narratives thst injured myself, at least mentally.

 

[tilllight]

I was fortunate to be a vegetarian when I moved to a new city. Looking for co-op houses for vegetarians was easy, as the health food store bulletin boards were the preferred ad location. Having a diet in common was a shared interest and, usually, general life philosophy. Sharing meals, I got to meet the roommates' friends. That setting was an endorsement of my general character, and, presumably, gave the new friend a chance to ask a mutual friend about any quirks they noticed. Once, a complete stranger gave me a valuable package to take home, having heard about me before.
I've also met friends by volunteering for causes we both support, and by working in a field of research where mutual help between amateurs is the norm. Sometimes, that made news, and people wanted to meet me.
I have heard of many young people who have been texting so much they lack verbal skills. Maybe you can find a recovery group that just meets to practice talking. I once went bowling with about twenty non-bowlers who just wanted practice at sharing a lane, winning, losing, small talk, & etc.

That´s an incredibly nice story to share of you. I think I am going to try out at least some of the advice I can draw from your tellings. It´s definitely good to have opportunities in mind, that, after a bit of looking, can present themselves out of quite surprising circumstances.

 

[tilllight]

Welcome. Finding community is far easier now. When I was your age in 1970, autism was rarely diagnosed. The problem was that I could experience my social dysfunction but not understand its basis. Wanting to understand things I developed narratives thst injured myself, at least mentally.

I hope you have gotten better with time. Mental wounds need long, often supervised, healing. It´s good when you finally get to know the foundation of it and can reason of ways it impacts you clear your path of some of the difficulties

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I hope you have gotten better with time. Mental wounds need long, often supervised, healing. It´s good when you finally get to know the foundation of it and can reason of ways it impacts you clear your path of some of the difficulties

I certainly have gotten better. The first occurred at around 26 when I was motivated to end my social isolation, date, and connect for a relationship. It worked when I took an interest in myself and others. Finally I found acceptance in my future spouse and I just did not think much of my past for 40 years. Recently as I face the demands of ageing I would get triggered. I have a very good counselor used to working with autistics and she guided me through Cognitive Processing Therapy, and I have rarely felt better. The past two years have been rough with 7 surgeries from the right vertebral artery in my brain, to my prostate, to open heart surgery for a bypass, and a carotid to brachial bypass. Getting old ain't for sissies.

 

[SusanLR]

Thank you very much!
I hope you don´t mind me guessing there; You´ve got me intrigued, though. Are cats a special interest of yours?

Yes. Especially black cats.
My first pet was a black cat. At three years old, my parents took me to an animal shelter and let me pick what I wanted for a pet. A black kitten.
I only got to keep her for two years as at five years old my parents moved from Arizona, where I was born, to Missouri. They gave her to a neighbor.
My first word was kitty.

There is a thread on here by Mr. Stevens called Meow.
We have page after page of cat stories and photos on there.

 

[tilllight]

Yes. Especially black cats.
My first pet was a black cat. At three years old, my parents took me to an animal shelter and let me pick what I wanted for a pet. A black kitten.
I only got to keep her for two years as at five years old my parents moved from Arizona, where I was born, to Missouri. They gave her to a neighbor.
My first word was kitty.

There is a thread on here by Mr. Stevens called Meow.
We have page after page of cat stories and photos on there.

That sounds adorable. I helped raising a black cat when I was way younger. To be part of the process of a cat´s growth let me see them with different- and new- eyes, as I discovered, that cats have more in common with humans or also us than you might think; they´re stubborn, too and have their own mind about everything ^^