HFA and Asperger's Workbook

[Ruby_Aspergic]

I am going through a workbook for young adults with HFA and asperger's, which is designed to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, and your goals, and to help you work with those strengths and weaknesses to achieve your goals. I am finding it to be highly enlightening, I am much further behind than I realized just because I am able to compensate so well, but eventually I'll run out of energy to do that and I will need some real life skills to support me. It's a really cool book and I do recommend it. But at the same time it is annoying. In order to meet some of my goals, I have to learn how to not seem autistic. I have to learn how to pretend. But one of the best parts of finding out about my autism is that the pressure to pretend to be something I am not is lifted, at least to some degree. I still must not behave like an asshole, but I don't have feelings of guilt and inadequacy because of my "weirdness" anymore. I feel like now I have a license to be weird without having to feel bad about it, if that's what I am, and apparently that IS what I am. There are some areas of weakness that I do need to work on, like time management and impulsivity, and it is critical that I become more reliable about work and school obligtions. But making myself dress in ways that I think are stupid and talk in ways that feel strange to me just to get neurotypical people to like me? That just seems to go against everything we are brought up in this society to believe about self esteem. I thought others were supposed to accept me, not that i have to TRAIN myself to be "normal" so those around me will find me less repulsive. I don't understand. I am sure I will have to meet in the middle somewhere in order to be successful person, and I am sure that is what the author intends for me to do rather than to try and fundamentally change myself, but I don't know where that middle is or how to find it. Hopefully by the end of the workbook I'll know.

 

[Emor]

My Mum often gets mad at me for not putting any effort into my appearance(not the going around like slut[I HATE that word but I seriously can't be bothered explaining] appearance, but the I just cba looking in the mirror today appearance), and it's confusing because it's just like, 'What ever happened about not giving a damn what people think?'
But then again, my Mum's extremely vain(she doesn't like to think it and denies it every time I tell her she's being vain, but it's obvious it is).
I think I'll end up in a similar position to you(and several other aspies I know my age) eventually. Right now I'm comfortable with who I am and don't need to impress anyone about how I look. Right now my logic is that I don't need respect from people who are vain. But I figure when going a job interview people will have such biases and I will need respect from them to an extent.
I do think it's rather over-whelming. I'm pretty sure there's stuff I do weird that I've yet to find out. I only found out last year that I walk weird, but I've not really got around to figuring out why(someone once said I run like a retard but I rarely run so I didn't bother with that and then after someone laughing and then a poor attempt at saying to their friend, 'I seriously think she doesn't know she walks that weird', I asked my friend if I walked weird and after saying I wouldn't be offended several times she said yeah). When I find out things like this it seems like being perceived as normal is almost impossible. And it's other processes I've been expected to do and after years of doing them someone's either, rather meanly(word?), pointed out it was a stupid way to do it, or I've noticed people have been giving me weird looks or w.e and figured out.
Sorry for ranting and not helping.
Just saying I definitely relate.
I really hope it works out for you.
EMZ=]

 

[arvut]

Sounds rather interesting, but I'd hate to "pretend" being normal, even if I know It's a must to fit in some times (I don't consider myself to belong to the real life society at all, im @home when in cyberspace )

I know for sure that I do have to work on my social skills tho, as I hate to socialize as It's too much ******** and a language I don't speak very well (facial expressions for example). Does this book teach you that stuff too? Or would one have to learn it the hard way?.. I know there are other books on that subject but I really can't be bothered reading anything else than science books atm (finding a book about newton and the g-force very entertaining right now )