Welcome Mark,
Many many years ago I drank to forget my problems and at first to be more sociable. After a while I was wasted alcoholic who drank 24/7, in the morning to stop shaking and at night to go to sleep. I became sullen and bitter. I started drinking because I was so lonely but then I alienated my friends and family so much I really was alone. I totally gave up wanting to live and constantly thought about suicide.
One day my wife went off to a church with her friend and she came back really different which interesting because she is Jewish and never went to any religious services.
I went with her a few times to see if there was any substance to it. I really didn't believe in God or religion, basically an agnostic.
Anyway, I saw that some if it was undeniably real. Eventually I came to terms with the bible when found it to be coherent and correspondent to the real state of mankind.
So I committed myself to Jesus the Messiah.
There was no instant magic but I noticed my attitude was beginning to change for the better. Life in general, while not easy, gradually got better, you know with family, children, and new friends.
Both before and after this I always felt weird, like I was from another planet. It didn't change me that way so I was still clueless in many social encounters. When my NT wife is with me, she translates both ways. Without her, I usually miss the signs that NT's speak with their bodies and voice tones. It was making me crazy. Why didn't God change me to an NT so I wouldn't have to go through all this drama?
Researching on the web I found a list of symptoms which I thought I would read out of curiosity. The condition was not familiar to me, but when I read the list of symptoms l literally cried. I found me. It was like the lights went on.
When I was a teen, my parents sent me to a psychiatrist but I know now he did not know about AS.
After recounting my life, I truly believe I could have avoided many problems including the alcoholism if I had had help to understand myself as being legitimately different but not defective.
As an important aside, I know that God made me this way on purpose. I am (we are) just unique because God is a God of infinite variety.
Anyways, this is a good forum for Aspies because the people are real and the discussions usually honest and very helpful. It has helped me a lot just knowing that others face similar challenges and most important we are normal, just a different norm.
Regards,
tw3, Aka Tom
