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Hi Everyone I’m Dee I have a son with autism

C

Clarity

New Member
Good afternoon thank you for reading my posts I’m new to this forum I decided to join as I have a 5yo son diagnosed with Autism he is my pride and joy we love him so much and we would like to ask for your help we need clarity on what to expect as we are quite apprehensive about him start school this year.
Our son is unique he’s a lovely boy who is filled with energy, enthusiasm and happiness however he has social interaction issues finding it very difficult to keep friends he is very self orientated he tends not to reply when spoken to and wriggles and moves a lot it’s really difficult to get him to focus on tasks for long periods the paediatrician has told us this might become a problem in school and we might need to think about medication she said the medication has side affects but she said we can revisit this issue after the first term of school.
To be home we are so scared to give him any medication that’s why I decided to reach out and see if anyone else here has any experience they’d be willing to share.
Thank you.
Dee.
 
welcome to af.png
 
He sounds like a normal enough boy and I think it's a bit daft to medicate five-year-olds because they are wriggly and occasionally a bit odd. I would be inclined to agree with you there.
I am autistic and am 24ish, and currently earning a bachelor's degree in college. My girl friend is also autistic, 21ish, and on the Dean's List of her college. We are both socially awkward and weird sometimes, so there's proof that you don't have to be Mister Perfect to get an education.

If I had a five-year-old son I'd be more inclined to keep calming things in the house. I didn't watch much television then; mom and dad were home schooling me (which has its advantages and disadvantages) but one thing I loved was time outside among the gardenias and time inside listening to some boxes of classical CDs on the big Sony changer in the living room.


When I was six my imagination was all right and I was more inclined to relax. I ended up repairing an HO gauge electric train, like the kind of models adults use for dioramas, because I was calm enough to read the paperwork with it, reinstall an axle, and go back to tampering with it.

Wiggly small boys who can't pay attention are likely overstimulated so I suggest trust your gut about the medication, for now (if he really needs meds you will be able to tell later) and cut back on screen time, replacing that with imaginative play and time in the children's section of the library if at all possible.

And, welcome to Autism Forums, where the inmates really do run the asylum. I promise we do not bite.
 
Gerontius said:
He sounds like a normal enough boy and I think it's a bit daft to medicate five-year-olds because they are wriggly and occasionally a bit odd. I would be inclined to agree with you there.
I am autistic and am 24ish, and currently earning a bachelor's degree in college. My girl friend is also autistic, 21ish, and on the Dean's List of her college. We are both socially awkward and weird sometimes, so there's proof that you don't have to be Mister Perfect to get an education.

If I had a five-year-old son I'd be more inclined to keep calming things in the house. I didn't watch much television then; mom and dad were home schooling me (which has its advantages and disadvantages) but one thing I loved was time outside among the gardenias and time inside listening to some boxes of classical CDs on the big Sony changer in the living room.


When I was six my imagination was all right and I was more inclined to relax. I ended up repairing an HO gauge electric train, like the kind of models adults use for dioramas, because I was calm enough to read the paperwork with it, reinstall an axle, and go back to tampering with it.

Wiggly small boys who can't pay attention are likely overstimulated so I suggest trust your gut about the medication, for now (if he really needs meds you will be able to tell later) and cut back on screen time, replacing that with imaginative play and time in the children's section of the library if at all possible.

And, welcome to Autism Forums, where the inmates really do run the asylum. I promise we do not bite.
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing your story Gerontius it’s nice to hear that you’ve made it to collage and have found ways to channel your autism I often think of autism as an advantage rather than a disadvantage my son is one cleaver cookie he learned to read on his own by age 3 and he can do some amazing things.
Your suggestions will definitely help us thank you again.
 
Hello & welcome.
Clarity said:
To be home we are so scared to give him any medication that’s why I decided to reach out and see if anyone else here has any experience they’d be willing to share.
Click to expand...
What condition is being medicated? ADHD?
(There is no medicine for autism itself.)

Also, which country are you in? (Knowing that will help to improve our recommendations.)
 
Clarity said:
Good afternoon thank you for reading my posts I’m new to this forum I decided to join as I have a 5yo son diagnosed with Autism he is my pride and joy we love him so much and we would like to ask for your help we need clarity on what to expect as we are quite apprehensive about him start school this year.
Our son is unique he’s a lovely boy who is filled with energy, enthusiasm and happiness however he has social interaction issues finding it very difficult to keep friends he is very self orientated he tends not to reply when spoken to and wriggles and moves a lot it’s really difficult to get him to focus on tasks for long periods the paediatrician has told us this might become a problem in school and we might need to think about medication she said the medication has side affects but she said we can revisit this issue after the first term of school.
To be home we are so scared to give him any medication that’s why I decided to reach out and see if anyone else here has any experience they’d be willing to share.
Thank you.
Dee.
Click to expand...
Welcome! It’s actually really nice whenever parents join the forum to help support their child. Your son is very lucky to have your. If your son is having a problem in school, have you tried reaching out to the school to see if there is any support that can be in place for him? At this young age, I am assuming he has just started kindergarten, so any problems that may be experiencing can be caught early. Especially if he is moving around a lot and having difficulty focusing on tasks for long periods. This usually means that he could be a disruption or at least become disruptive in the classroom. Really strongly suggest that you Talk with his teacher and also see if there is a SENCO (Special Education Needs Coordinator) at the school or someone who at least has an official specialism in SEN who can do an ILP (Independent Learning Plan) for him to help with any challenges towards his education. A good teacher will also ensure that his ILP is implemented and that he is supported within the classroom and tasks for the outcomes towards his learning. If he has the option for a 1:1 support, take it. He will benefit a lot from that also. He should have his tasks in bite size chunks and have plenty of “breathing” space in between tasks. I do this with students who need this, and it does help them.

I dont know about medications, I’d really look for alternatives (like I have already mentioned above) and maybe at home do a star chart or something — maybe also have one in school, so that any tasks he successfully completes in the week, he gets to do something extra fun. I had that as a kid myself.=D

Wish you all the best.
 
Little boys are generally a "ball of energy", autism or not. I am 56 and remember myself that age, and I have raised 2 boys. When we were kids, there was never this sense that the teachers were trying to control little boys energy levels. I can remember kids standing up and pacing in the back of the classroom, for Pete's sake. As long as they weren't a disruption, let them move around. My boys grew up with teachers who wanted to control activity levels in the classroom. All day they would sit and be good in class, then as soon as they got in the car for the ride home, they would unwind like a spring full of pent up energy. It was like this every day. We literally forced them to take a few hours to play, ride their bikes, wrestle, yell, scream, and get it out of their system before dinner. Then after dinner, they would do their homework. When I was a kid, we rarely had homework. That last class bell would ring and we burst out of that school, running as if our hair and feet were on fire. Then we were outside playing until dinner.

I do not like how our schools handle "energetic" children. It is too stressful, and frankly, I think it is harmful. When I was at the university, one of the best ways for me to study was pacing around the room, as it sent more blood to my brain. If I sat down, my eyes would glaze over and I never learn anything. I felt like a zombie. Then, to consider medications in a child, it takes on a whole different level of harm to a developing brain. So, good for you for stopping to question a pediatrician who wants to push medications.

If the social environment is going to be too much for your son, as is often the case, then I would push for a home tutor, a specialized academy, or home schooling. If you can tap into his special interests and make those connections with his lessons, you're likely to get some "traction" and he may even excel. If you try to push him to learn something he has no interest in and he doesn't see the value in it, then you're likely in for some "lack of motivation" issues. The autistic brain can be a valuable asset, if you can understand it and use it.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
Little boys are generally a "ball of energy", autism or not. I am 56 and remember myself that age, and I have raised 2 boys. When we were kids, there was never this sense that the teachers were trying to control little boys energy levels. I can remember kids standing up and pacing in the back of the classroom, for Pete's sake. As long as they weren't a disruption, let them move around. My boys grew up with teachers who wanted to control activity levels in the classroom. All day they would sit and be good in class, then as soon as they got in the car for the ride home, they would unwind like a spring full of pent up energy. It was like this every day. We literally forced them to take a few hours to play, ride their bikes, wrestle, yell, scream, and get it out of their system before dinner. Then after dinner, they would do their homework. When I was a kid, we rarely had homework. That last class bell would ring and we burst out of that school, running as if our hair and feet were on fire. Then we were outside playing until dinner.

I do not like how our schools handle "energetic" children. It is too stressful, and frankly, I think it is harmful. When I was at the university, one of the best ways for me to study was pacing around the room, as it sent more blood to my brain. If I sat down, my eyes would glaze over and I never learn anything. I felt like a zombie. Then, to consider medications in a child, it takes on a whole different level of harm to a developing brain. So, good for you for stopping to question a pediatrician who wants to push medications.

If the social environment is going to be too much for your son, as is often the case, then I would push for a home tutor, a specialized academy, or home schooling. If you can tap into his special interests and make those connections with his lessons, you're likely to get some "traction" and he may even excel. If you try to push him to learn something he has no interest in and he doesn't see the value in it, then you're likely in for some "lack of motivation" issues. The autistic brain can be a valuable asset, if you can understand it and use it.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing you have really helped give me some insight into what to expect hopefully I can use some of the information you’ve provided to do something constructive.
I’m getting the sense the medication is the wrong path to follow possibly the lazy way and that it’s better to figure out an autistic person’s strengths and tailor their education around this.
At this point my son is quite young 5yo and is about to start school next week we already employ a OT and Speech therapist and have applied for a behavioural therapist to help guid his teacher to better interact with him but that’s a waiting game.
Thanks again for sharing.
 
I am not in Australia, but we have some Aussies here who know what programs are available there.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
Little boys are generally a "ball of energy", autism or not. I am 56 and remember myself that age, and I have raised 2 boys. When we were kids, there was never this sense that the teachers were trying to control little boys energy levels. I can remember kids standing up and pacing in the back of the classroom, for Pete's sake. As long as they weren't a disruption, let them move around. My boys grew up with teachers who wanted to control activity levels in the classroom. All day they would sit and be good in class, then as soon as they got in the car for the ride home, they would unwind like a spring full of pent up energy. It was like this every day. We literally forced them to take a few hours to play, ride their bikes, wrestle, yell, scream, and get it out of their system before dinner. Then after dinner, they would do their homework. When I was a kid, we rarely had homework. That last class bell would ring and we burst out of that school, running as if our hair and feet were on fire. Then we were outside playing until dinner.

I do not like how our schools handle "energetic" children. It is too stressful, and frankly, I think it is harmful. When I was at the university, one of the best ways for me to study was pacing around the room, as it sent more blood to my brain. If I sat down, my eyes would glaze over and I never learn anything. I felt like a zombie. Then, to consider medications in a child, it takes on a whole different level of harm to a developing brain. So, good for you for stopping to question a pediatrician who wants to push medications.

If the social environment is going to be too much for your son, as is often the case, then I would push for a home tutor, a specialized academy, or home schooling. If you can tap into his special interests and make those connections with his lessons, you're likely to get some "traction" and he may even excel. If you try to push him to learn something he has no interest in and he doesn't see the value in it, then you're likely in for some "lack of motivation" issues. The autistic brain can be a valuable asset, if you can understand it and use it.
Click to expand...
Thank you for giving your input this is definitely helpful we definitely need to monitor his progress over the next few weeks hopefully we can find a balance and he will enjoy school.
The school we have chosen for him has a accredited teacher that looks after special needs children the school has assured me that she is the most gentle and understanding person they have my son is already drawn to gentle people so hopefully he will do well I’m still concerned he may be disruptive to the rest of the class I’ve spoken to the school about possibly looking into seating arrangements that reduce disruption and I definitely want to implement something to use up his energy like sports he seems to like rock clinic so I think I’ll have to take that up a few times a week it might even help with his focusing skills.
Thank you again for sharing.
 
Clarity said:
At this point my son is quite young 5yo and is about to start school next week we already employ a OT and Speech therapist and have applied for a behavioural therapist to help guid his teacher to better interact with him but that’s a waiting game.
Click to expand...
Also, let the teachers evaluate his severity level from a teaching perspective. If he is Aspergers/ASD1, they will probably accommodate him in a regular classroom. If his severity is higher, he will end up in a classroom where they can give him more necessary attention.
 
Owliet said:
Welcome! It’s actually really nice whenever parents join the forum to help support their child. Your son is very lucky to have your. If your son is having a problem in school, have you tried reaching out to the school to see if there is any support that can be in place for him? At this young age, I am assuming he has just started kindergarten, so any problems that may be experiencing can be caught early. Especially if he is moving around a lot and having difficulty focusing on tasks for long periods. This usually means that he could be a disruption or at least become disruptive in the classroom. Really strongly suggest that you Talk with his teacher and also see if there is a SENCO (Special Education Needs Coordinator) at the school or someone who at least has an official specialism in SEN who can do an ILP (Independent Learning Plan) for him to help with any challenges towards his education. A good teacher will also ensure that his ILP is implemented and that he is supported within the classroom and tasks for the outcomes towards his learning. If he has the option for a 1:1 support, take it. He will benefit a lot from that also. He should have his tasks in bite size chunks and have plenty of “breathing” space in between tasks. I do this with students who need this, and it does help them.

I dont know about medications, I’d really look for alternatives (like I have already mentioned above) and maybe at home do a star chart or something — maybe also have one in school, so that any tasks he successfully completes in the week, he gets to do something extra fun. I had that as a kid myself.=D

Wish you all the best.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing i really find what you’ve said helpful and it looks like other members have the same view it looks like medication is the wrong way to go especially when an autistic person may have some wonderful talents to explore my son is an amazing little boy he learned to read himself at age 3 and he can remember things with such detail it’s amazing however he only does the things that he enjoys or wants to do so trying to steer is can be challenging.
I’ll definitely look into the special needs coordinator and an individual learning plan this is really important information thank you for suggesting it.
We’ve chosen a school that has a special needs teacher that is accredited to look after autistic children and the school has assured us that she is gentle and understanding however we now from experience anyone can have a meltdown if annoyed enough so we definitely need to monitor his environment we also have weekly OT and speech therapists sessions that will happen at the school we think it’s best for the therapist to observe his interactions in the classroom to tailor his therapy to better his education and social interactions at present we are on a wait list for a behavioural therapist who will hopefully be able to help his educators better interact with him but that may be a few months off.
He enjoyed rock climbing I plan to take on indoor rock climbing to help him with his focus and energy usage hopefully this will help him.
Lastly I plan on limiting TV I find it’s a massive distraction and brain numbing experience it definitely takes him backwards.
Thank you again.
 
Crossbreed said:
Also, let the teachers evaluate his severity level from a teaching perspective. If he is Aspergers/ASD1, they will probably accommodate him in a regular classroom. If his severity is higher, he will end up in a classroom where they can give him more necessary attention.
Click to expand...
I think the report we initially got suggested ASD3 for social interaction and ASD2 for restricted and repetitive interests and behaviour.
 
Clarity said:
I think the report we initially got suggested ASD3 for social interaction and ASD2 for restricted and repetitive interests and behaviour.
Click to expand...
Regular classrooms require a uniform set of skills that an ASD1 can master to receive benefit from them. My ASD1 children got lightened homework loads.
ASD2s & 3s generally chafe against that uniformity and require more individualized attention.
 
Crossbreed said:
Regular classrooms require a uniform set of skills that an ASD1 can master to receive benefit from them. My ASD1 children got lightened homework loads.
ASD2s & 3s generally chafe against that uniformity and require more individualized attention.
Click to expand...
I think you might be right, because I’ve already noticed he needs a lot of one-on-one interaction and group sessions. Don’t seem to help him very much.
We find in a group everything becomes a competition and winning is the only thing that matters to him, frustration sets in very easily, especially when somebody else does something quicker or is better academically. I really don’t know how we would go about finding one-on-one lessons for him and homeschooling is definitely out of the option for us. We both have to work and we’re probably not very good at it.
 
Clarity said:
I really don’t know how we would go about finding one-on-one lessons for him...
Click to expand...
If your schools are structured like ours, they will have special ed. classes like that. His placement in such will be determined by the teacher evaluation that you are going to.
 
I can only add a little bit here-- ABA (Applied behavioral analysis) is actually considered abusive by the majority of the autism community. CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) is much better.
 
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