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Hi, everyone!

Wulinren

New Member
I am a retiree, just retired after having worked for the United Nations in New York for almost 30 years.

We have a 32-year-old son and since his childhood we noticed he behaved a little differently from other kids of his age. He had difficulties both in middle school and in college. But anyway, he managed to have graduated from Boston University.

After graduation, he refused to find a job and did daily-trading at home for about two years (the profit rate was OK).

Then he tried this and that, but always in vain. He also wanted to go back to school, at first to take MBA courses and then wanted to be a lawyer (his verbal delivery is obviously above average and we thought to be a lawyer could make full use of his potential in this aspect), but on the day when he was going to take the entry exam, he did not have the courage to enter the exam room.

After that, he went to China, where he was born, for about 3 years, working there and also set up a VR company with my friend. He told us that he had got his self-confidence back and could find a job easily in US.

About 6 months ago, he went to San Francisco to find a job in a VR company. Obviously, he had very bad experience there.

He came back in June and told us that he wanted to have a plastic surgery, because some job interviewers said behind his back that his face was too wide, ugly (to be fair, we think he looks pretty normal).

Now he is obsessed with this idea.

And we did some research and found that he might be an aspergie.

Could anyone recommend what we should do?

Many thanks!

James Ling
 
The obvious answer is to get him to go to the doctor and ask for a referral for an assessment, but that's easy for me to say living in England. In America, you have to pay for the service, so may not be able to afford it. Even if you can, the doctor may not believe you or your son, especially if he doesn't fit the stereotype (I had that experience here, so am self-diagnosed; as I've taken early retirement, it doesn't matter so much). There are online tests, including one on this site, but I don't know how to access it (some people have a score at the bottom of their pages), which may at least give an indication, even if it is unofficial.
"The Autistic Brain" by Temple Grandin, and "The Autistic Spectrum" by Laura Wing are easy-to-read books that talk a lot about the condition and its symptoms; they confirmed my suspicions about myself, so may be helpful to you and/or your son.
 
Hi Wulinren Welcome to our community, I hope you find some answers & would recommend Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome also, if the online self-tests for ASD indicate spectrumicity, which is a word I just invented. Good luck.
 
The obvious answer is to get him to go to the doctor and ask for a referral for an assessment, but that's easy for me to say living in England. In America, you have to pay for the service, so may not be able to afford it. Even if you can, the doctor may not believe you or your son, especially if he doesn't fit the stereotype (I had that experience here, so am self-diagnosed; as I've taken early retirement, it doesn't matter so much). There are online tests, including one on this site, but I don't know how to access it (some people have a score at the bottom of their pages), which may at least give an indication, even if it is unofficial.
"The Autistic Brain" by Temple Grandin, and "The Autistic Spectrum" by Laura Wing are easy-to-read books that talk a lot about the condition and its symptoms; they confirmed my suspicions about myself, so may be helpful to you and/or your son.
Katherine, thank you so very much for your kind advice. We will read the books you recommended first. Wulinren
 
Hi Wulinren Welcome to our community, I hope you find some answers & would recommend Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome also, if the online self-tests for ASD indicate spectrumicity, which is a word I just invented. Good luck.
Elemental, thank you so very much for your kind advice. Wulinren
 

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