IdentityCrisis
New Member
So after doing a lot of research I am now beginning to wonder if I am Autistic and would like to hear what you guys think about my story.
So I am a 26 year old male currently working as an EMT. I have struggled with mental health issues for many years (as long as I can remember) with social anxiety and depression being the most prominent issues. I have always struggled to make friends, maintain friendships, and basically just stay connected with friends and family (even though I would like to stay connected). I was always very shy and essentially a mute around people I didn't feel comfortable with. I always preferred being alone instead of spending time with others and find myself dreading social situations. In spite of all of this I have a higher than average level of intelligence and was able to obtain a Biology Degree.
Although I still struggle in social situations and have hardly any friends, I am not as socially anxious as I once was. I have been in a lot of therapy and have tried many different medications to treat my symptoms. I noticed a significant improvement in my anxiety after getting prescribed adderall for ADHD (diagnosed a couple months ago). A few other diagnoses have been discussed in therapy, but it wasnt until recently that I began to wonder if I had HFA. I used to teach at a school where a number of the children were Autistic. I noticed some similarities I shared with them but never really put too much thought into it. I have a lot of sensory issues which I just assumed were not very abnormal. Flourescent lights and and any glare from the sun practically blinds me or gives me migraines. I dont like wearing certain fabrics or clothes with annoying tags. Its hard for me to focus on one sound at a time especially someone trying to talk to me. I have a lot of trouble processing my thoughts into speech. There is a lot more about me but I think this a good start. I do live alone but its hard to do all the adult things. Relationships are hard for me. I do have a 1 1/2 year old son and while taking care of my son is borring at times (I spend a lot of time alone with him as I am a single dad with shared custody) I do enjoy it and think Im a good parent.
I do struggle with my emotions and have self-harmed and self-medicated to avoid intense emotions. I occasionally shut down and cant move for a while when experiencing intense emotions. These are things that I have been living with for as long as I can remember and I am starting to realize that HFA could possibly explain a lot of these things that I have been experiencing. Sorry for the ridiculously long post, but I have been keeping a lot of this in and am just now starting to express it. Any input or advice is appreciated as I dont currently have an ASD diagnosis but I have been thinking about this a lot and just seeking answers. Thanks for reading.
So I am a 26 year old male currently working as an EMT. I have struggled with mental health issues for many years (as long as I can remember) with social anxiety and depression being the most prominent issues. I have always struggled to make friends, maintain friendships, and basically just stay connected with friends and family (even though I would like to stay connected). I was always very shy and essentially a mute around people I didn't feel comfortable with. I always preferred being alone instead of spending time with others and find myself dreading social situations. In spite of all of this I have a higher than average level of intelligence and was able to obtain a Biology Degree.
Although I still struggle in social situations and have hardly any friends, I am not as socially anxious as I once was. I have been in a lot of therapy and have tried many different medications to treat my symptoms. I noticed a significant improvement in my anxiety after getting prescribed adderall for ADHD (diagnosed a couple months ago). A few other diagnoses have been discussed in therapy, but it wasnt until recently that I began to wonder if I had HFA. I used to teach at a school where a number of the children were Autistic. I noticed some similarities I shared with them but never really put too much thought into it. I have a lot of sensory issues which I just assumed were not very abnormal. Flourescent lights and and any glare from the sun practically blinds me or gives me migraines. I dont like wearing certain fabrics or clothes with annoying tags. Its hard for me to focus on one sound at a time especially someone trying to talk to me. I have a lot of trouble processing my thoughts into speech. There is a lot more about me but I think this a good start. I do live alone but its hard to do all the adult things. Relationships are hard for me. I do have a 1 1/2 year old son and while taking care of my son is borring at times (I spend a lot of time alone with him as I am a single dad with shared custody) I do enjoy it and think Im a good parent.
I do struggle with my emotions and have self-harmed and self-medicated to avoid intense emotions. I occasionally shut down and cant move for a while when experiencing intense emotions. These are things that I have been living with for as long as I can remember and I am starting to realize that HFA could possibly explain a lot of these things that I have been experiencing. Sorry for the ridiculously long post, but I have been keeping a lot of this in and am just now starting to express it. Any input or advice is appreciated as I dont currently have an ASD diagnosis but I have been thinking about this a lot and just seeking answers. Thanks for reading.
