Jennifer H
New Member
I’m new to the forums and wanted to introduce myself. My name is Jennifer, and I’m a 29 year old self-diagnosed HFA female.
When I went for assessment a few years ago, I displayed a lot of masking behaviors typical of autistic females, and I missed the diagnosis by a couple of points. Since then, I’ve become increasingly convinced that ASD is the correct diagnosis for me, and I’m seeking out a mental health professional who specializes in working with autistic women.
I’ve always done well academically (straight A student throughout school, master’s degree at 23), but have trouble coping with the demands of the workplace. Every time I’ve tried to hold down a full time job, I’ve burned out within a few months from overstimulation and the pressure of trying to fit in socially. I’m currently working part-time as an adjunct professor of sociology, which is doable because of the light load but which also sometimes overwhelms me because of social anxiety.
I’m engaged to a much older partner who is NT but who has struggled with issues such as C-PTSD and depression. It is a generally healthy relationship and has helped me heal in many ways, but sometimes I get exhausted from the constant pressure of translating my ND thoughts into his native NT “language.” He recently underwent open heart surgery (thankfully all went smoothly!), and the changes in routine plus anxiety of the whole situation drove me to a point of meltdown/shutdown.
I’ve managed to get by in life with high intelligence, empathy, and critical thinking skills, but I’m noticing more and more how challenges such as auditory processing issues and sensorimotor deficits affect my everyday life. I also struggle with loneliness. I am incredibly grateful for my partner, but I have few friends and struggle to find people who truly understand me. I used to fall into a codependent role in friendships in which everything would revolve around the other person, because I knew how to make myself useful in that way. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve moved away from this type of dynamic and have had difficulty finding any new and balanced friendships.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read all of this! Wishing you all a wonderful day.
When I went for assessment a few years ago, I displayed a lot of masking behaviors typical of autistic females, and I missed the diagnosis by a couple of points. Since then, I’ve become increasingly convinced that ASD is the correct diagnosis for me, and I’m seeking out a mental health professional who specializes in working with autistic women.
I’ve always done well academically (straight A student throughout school, master’s degree at 23), but have trouble coping with the demands of the workplace. Every time I’ve tried to hold down a full time job, I’ve burned out within a few months from overstimulation and the pressure of trying to fit in socially. I’m currently working part-time as an adjunct professor of sociology, which is doable because of the light load but which also sometimes overwhelms me because of social anxiety.
I’m engaged to a much older partner who is NT but who has struggled with issues such as C-PTSD and depression. It is a generally healthy relationship and has helped me heal in many ways, but sometimes I get exhausted from the constant pressure of translating my ND thoughts into his native NT “language.” He recently underwent open heart surgery (thankfully all went smoothly!), and the changes in routine plus anxiety of the whole situation drove me to a point of meltdown/shutdown.
I’ve managed to get by in life with high intelligence, empathy, and critical thinking skills, but I’m noticing more and more how challenges such as auditory processing issues and sensorimotor deficits affect my everyday life. I also struggle with loneliness. I am incredibly grateful for my partner, but I have few friends and struggle to find people who truly understand me. I used to fall into a codependent role in friendships in which everything would revolve around the other person, because I knew how to make myself useful in that way. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve moved away from this type of dynamic and have had difficulty finding any new and balanced friendships.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read all of this! Wishing you all a wonderful day.
