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Hi! Fana here!

F

Fana

Member
48 y.o.
My first marriage ended up after 10 years without taking my share of responsibilites in the relationship and "ignoring" her... We even discussed the possibility of living in different homes...
In my 2nd marriage and after 4 years of relationship... my behaviour doesn't seem to have changed at all...
This time my wife has been kicking my butt for the last 2 years....
So i took some online tests.... and here i am!
... all my rational tell me i should be more empathic and responsible.... but then everything gets so boring...
I never digged too much or at all about my past behaviours.... but i must admit now that hs been a common trait 7n all my life with everybody else...
I hope i can find some clues...
Txs for listenning :-)
 
This forum is extremely informative and understanding. I hope you enjoy your time here. Welcome and good luck!:)
 
Hi & welcome,
HF Aspergers/Autism can be thought of as a set of traits and tendencies you are born with, but in the human context how they play out is very varied and complex. These tendencies grow up along with your normal ones (which are still the majority) like a vine twisted around a tree.

For me personnally, it was important to learn what was in control at various times. What made me go in this or that direction. Was it my personality or the Aspergers driving the boat so to speak. And now I can evaluate new decisions with this knowledge.

Not all aspects of Aspergers are bad, and I actually prefer some traits, but some are inhibiting or negative. I hope what you learn can be helpful to you (and your spouse).
 
Hi, welcome to the forum :) I have similar issues with my relationship, but my diagnosis and discussing the problems associated with AS and how it affects our relationship has helped.
 
Welcome aboard :)
Best wishes.
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Txs for your welcoming.
I have been trying to educate myself about whetherbit AS or common lack social and 1-to-1 relationship within a marriage.
As expected I found some literature the AS personal point of view, how to improve oneself...but in a very personal point of view...(mainly for children, teenagers and young adults).... The point is I feel I am "already in a galaxy very far away" were I dont care so kuch about myself unless I can fix and collect the broken pieces in my marriage (and my concern is to bring my wife back from own depressive state of having dealt with for so long that seh feels completly exausted end hopeless)... and that's pecisely what I'm trying to do... but since i have not found yet any literature specifically about married middle-aged AS+NON AS couples.... then I feel blind.... I don't know if I am doing the right things to fix her....
Txs for listenning.
 
...back only to say that i didn't mean to disconsider everybody else not in my age group.... I appologyse in advance if i have offended anybody.
 
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