Hi! I have lots of aspie characteristics but I haven't been diagnosed. Very uneven in my social skills, life-affecting sound sensitivity. Searching

[uneven]

Hi! I have lots of aspie characteristics but I haven't been diagnosed. Very uneven in my social skills, life-affecting sound sensitivity. Searching

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome. Searching led many of us right here, to the forum. I hope you like it here. Let us know if you need any help figuring things out.

 

[Outdated]

Hi and welcome. There's lots of people in here just like yourself. An actual diagnosis doesn't really matter unless you have a use for it, being able to relate to the other people here is all that matters.

You say you're searching, if it's for people with experiences similar to your own then you've found the right place.

 

[uneven]

Thank you! I want to ask the group about need for alone time. Where should I start?

 

[Outdated]

You just did.

It's probably better if you start your own thread under a suitable topic on the main page, but asking people here is fine too.

Many of us need time out. From long before I knew anything about autism I used the phrase "all peopled out". I was still fine to work and do my job but if people didn't give me a break when I needed it then I'd take a few sick days instead.

 

[tree]

 

[uneven]

You just did.

It's probably better if you start your own thread under a suitable topic on the main page, but asking people here is fine too.

Many of us need time out. From long before I knew anything about autism I used the phrase "all peopled out". I was still fine to work and do my job but if people didn't give me a break when I needed it then I'd take a few sick days instead.

thank you very much! As a woman, I've been socialized to be available. The husband can watch sports, for example, and withdraw to his "man cave" but the woman cannot take the same privilege, according to my understanding of the rules. If I have to be "on call" to someone, I can do it, but it drains me so fast!!! I did start a thread. How do you work out your need for recharging after getting "all peopled out"? with people outside of work?

 

[uneven]

View attachment 111325

Thank you! Do you need alone time? How do you handle this in your relationships?

 

[Outdated]

How do you work out your need for recharging after getting "all peopled out"? with people outside of work?

Simply by not being available. Any one that knows me knows that I may or may not pick up the phone depending on how I feel. Most of them learn to not take it personally. But also as you say, I'm a bloke and somehow it just seems natural and right that we become a little less social as we get older. We get away with it more easily.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Hello and welcome to the forum!

 

[Tom]

Welcome!

 

[Nitro]

 

[uneven]

Welcome!

View attachment 111339

yup! That's about how I feel when I need some alone time! Very accurate! People! ARGHHHHHH!!!

 

[AndyFBlues]

Welcome. There are lots of nice folks who know what you're going through. You are not alone.

I'm with you on the need for alone time. It gives me a chance to recharge for the times that I need to deal with others.

I let the answering machine take most calls. If it's important, they'll leave a message. If they don't leave a message, then it must not be important.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome.

The general double standard is indeed frustrating, but sometimes we need to set clear boundaries, and define ourselves as we are, rather than what society or someone else may expect.

You may find that better respecting yourself and your boundaries may result in healthier relationships where you are more of an equal rather than in a subservient role.

 

[uneven]

Welcome. There are lots of nice folks who know what you're going through. You are not alone.

I'm with you on the need for alone time. It gives me a chance to recharge for the times that I need to deal with others.

I let the answering machine take most calls. If it's important, they'll leave a message. If they don't leave a message, then it must not be important.

thank you very much. I feel so out of place among the swarming extroverts!!!

 

[uneven]

Welcome.

The general double standard is indeed frustrating, but sometimes we need to set clear boundaries, and define ourselves as we are, rather than what society or someone else may expect.

You may find that better respecting yourself and your boundaries may result in healthier relationships where you are more of an equal rather than in a subservient role.

Thank you, victor! I'm very new to this spectrum identity, and it is so great! It's a whole new way of looking at myself. I must say, it feels safe and authentic. I'm "good" at some social skills, but I always feel strained and fakey. I tell myself that I am incapable of loving because I can't stand being around people for very long. maybe this isn't true.