Hi I need help or guidance

[ljjesse]

hi my name is lj or jesse
i need serious help autism is doing my head in right now i have no control over my emotions i was never taught i truely need help ive been asking for years and got no where im still no where and im getting worse my partner is the one who cops it the most please help me im 23 years old i cant take much more of this my head feels like it gonna explode.

 

[Tom]

Have you considered getting professional medical help, like with a psychologist or therapist? Many if not most of us have run into times when we need assistance coping.

 

[ljjesse]

Have you considered getting professional medical help, like with a psychologist or therapist? Many if not most of us have run into times when we need assistance coping.

Hey I have and I've not had any luck what so ever I need someone who either knows about autism or specialized. I literally feel like I'm the only one with this problem as I've asked everyone all pages groups all aspies I know and nothing I literally feel like I'm being destroyed from the inside out is that even possible? I dont know what else I can do I've been screaming for help and no one is helping me ever since I was diagnosed years and years ago I've had to do everything alone figure it out on my own and I never did now I'm like a danger to people around I dont have control over what I'm doing and I dont remember doing it

 

[Sarah S]

First try to CALM down and breath deeply in and out..............

THEN it would help if you could perhaps try to explain what you mean with youre being destroyed from within is it voices in youre head telling you do things or is inner anxiety or what is it ?

Depending were youre from im shore they are some Psychic hotline you can call

Youre NOT alone

 

[Tom]

Yes, it definately is important to try and find a professional with experience with autism. I encourage you to continue that search. It is not quite like anything else and easily misunderstood. Though some of the problems that often come with autism, like anxiety & depression can be treated individually by professionals without autism experience. And anything that helps is a step in the right direction. Everything at once can be overwhelming, but if you can break it down into smaller parts/issues it may be easier to work on.

 

[ljjesse]

First try to CALM down and breath deeply in and out..............

THEN it would help if you could perhaps try to explain what you mean with youre being destroyed from within is it voices in youre head telling you do things or is inner anxiety or what is it ?

Depending were youre from im shore they are some Psychic hotline you can call

Youre NOT alone

It's like I'm living a life with autism that I dont knoe how to deal with I've taught my self I learnt when I. Angry punch walls hard who cares if you break your hand as long as it isnt anyone else but lately I'm so out of control have so much going on I dont know to cope or deal at all. Is it always going to be this hard am i always going to be this stressed and anxiety i want a new brain its destroying my family and my girlfriend.
The only way to explain is like I'm turning into a werewolf and I'm trapped inside while it wreaks havoc

 

[ljjesse]

Yes, it definately is important to try and find a professional with experience with autism. I encourage you to continue that search. It is not quite like anything else and easily misunderstood. Though some of the problems that often come with autism, like anxiety & depression can be treated individually by professionals without autism experience. And anything that helps is a step in the right direction. Everything at once can be overwhelming, but if you can break it down into smaller parts/issues it may be easier to work on.

I really hope I can find someone it's like no body knows what autism is no one understand anything about so they cant help I need to see someone specialized to tell me how to deal. That's my biggest issue too much going on at once so I explode like a volcano cause I'm unable to deal with it stressed anxious depressed =anger for me bad bad anger

 

[Tom]

Anger is a tough problem and can run pretty deep. I sought some help for that myself. One bad thing about it is that those closest to us are often the undeserving recipients of the anger outbursts which is unfair and adds guilt to the mix. Working on protecting those from the anger is a very good thing to try and do. Trying to become self aware and realizing when anger is building up is one step. Then taking some action to avoid a negative interaction with others. One thing I did was let my spouse or family know I was in a bad mood and then keep to myself mostly. There may be non-destructive (or limited destructive) things you can do to vent or release that energy.

 

[Sarah S]

="ljjesse, post: 607930, member: 22156"]It's like I'm living a life with autism that I dont knoe how to deal with I've taught my self I learnt when I.

" Yeah i had the same journey as you im afraid with having to learn how to cope with all my diagnosis by my self & although seing the social pros since i was 4 dident help me diddly so believe me i understand (this was in the 70 and they have learnt WAY more then they know back then tho ) "

Angry punch walls hard who cares if you break your hand as long as it isnt anyone else but lately I'm so out of control have so much going on I dont know to cope or deal at all.

" Okey so you have anger iccues then (been there done that ) what exactly is it that makes you angry ? "

Is it always going to be this hard am i always going to be this stressed and anxiety

" NO its not its going to come and go sadly yes BUT there are both meds as well as if you manage to locate a good qualified doc on Autism BELIVE me i know how this hits and it aint pretty nor easy BUT you CAN find a way to learn how to cope with this "

i want a new brain its destroying my family and my girlfriend.

" Yeah i could use a brain transplant as well as all my diagnosis have managed to compleatly destroy what dreams i once had in having a normal life BUT sadly were born with this and we have to try to find a way to deal and cope with our diagnosis "

The only way to explain is like I'm turning into a werewolf and I'm trapped inside while it wreaks havoc

" I understand, to me it sounds like you really need to try to get some kind of special professional help so i would say thats priority 1. Also what you need to try is NOT let youre inner demons mess with you like this and most defenetly NOT let youre anger out as you apparently have (ie smashing walls or risk hurting others) you need to try to find a way to be able to let small portions out constantly rather then what i believe you do bottle it all up inside you and with time it becomes more and more and fianly the steam blows so to say (ie if you have someone you trust to vent ) "

" Like Tom and also my self said try to get this down in smaller sections and NOT try to get on it all at ones as then youre brain will shut down and this happens (yes im talking from YEARS of experience with same shutdowns on same grounds . Like you i respond to high levels of negative stress / Depression /anxiety with aggressiveness BUT in my case i have managed to learn how to cope better with my "periods of stress and so on and so can you. Youre only 23 so DONT give up help is out there TRUST me on this and you WILL find a way to learn how to deal with all this as time goes by. "

 

[Nitro]

Hi Jesse

I hope you can find answers and if nothing else, I know you will find the support of others here.

 

[Catherine Crowne]

I

Hey I have and I've not had any luck what so ever I need someone who either knows about autism or specialized. I literally feel like I'm the only one with this problem as I've asked everyone all pages groups all aspies I know and nothing I literally feel like I'm being destroyed from the inside out is that even possible? I dont know what else I can do I've been screaming for help and no one is helping me ever since I was diagnosed years and years ago I've had to do everything alone figure it out on my own and I never did now I'm like a danger to people around I dont have control over what I'm doing and I dont remember doing it

m so sorry you are hurting.
Keep communicating with people here. However, are you on any meds?
If you are it seems they may need to be adjusted.
Do you have any help where you live?
I know many times when we suffer with depression it seems like no one understands or cares. It can be so lonely.
But, there are people who do understand and care.

 

[Nervous Rex]

i need serious help autism is doing my head in right now i have no control over my emotions i was never taught.

When I was a kid, I asked teachers and anyone else I perceived as an authority figure if they knew why I reacted emotionally the way I did. I literally did not understand myself and was asking for help, and adults knew everything, right?

I understand what you're going through, and I know a lot of other people on this forum do. You have our understanding, sympathy, and empathy.

Counseling from someone who understands autism would be great, if it's available. Here are some things I've learned from my own experience:

1) The standard strategies and behaviors that work for most other people aren't going to work for you. You already know this, and you're frustrated from trying them. You are going to have to figure out what works for you. You're going to have to write your own Owner's Manual.

Start with the things that set you off - look for what they have in common. Is it having too many things to process at once? Is it noise? Is it sudden or unexpected change? Is it not having time to prepare for a situation, or not having time to process something afterward?

Once you know what sets you off, there are two basic strategies:
A) Ways to prevent them.
B) Ways to deal with them.

For ways to prevent them, look for things you can do to prepare in advance for what sets you off. Maybe that's rehearsing and scripting responses, planning your schedule ahead of time, planning for things going wrong, etc. The best thing for me is to make sure I get enough sleep. Look for things that weaken you and make you more prone to meltdowns.

For ways to deal with them, pay attention to how long it takes you to recover. In the moment of a meltdown, this will help you to know that after [that much time], you will feel better. Also learn to recognize when you are heading for a breakdown, and remember that your thoughts at the time are going to be darker than reality really is. Look for activities and things that soothe you and help you recover, and prepare to have them ready when needed.

That's a start. Understanding yourself, learning to cope, and learning to change is a big project. It's going to take time. You wouldn't get mad at a toddler for falling down when they're trying to learn to walk - be just as forgiving to yourself.

 

[Catherine Crowne]

When I was a kid, I asked teachers and anyone else I perceived as an authority figure if they knew why I reacted emotionally the way I did. I literally did not understand myself and was asking for help, and adults knew everything, right?

I understand what you're going through, and I know a lot of other people on this forum do. You have our understanding, sympathy, and empathy.

Counseling from someone who understands autism would be great, if it's available. Here are some things I've learned from my own experience:

1) The standard strategies and behaviors that work for most other people aren't going to work for you. You already know this, and you're frustrated from trying them. You are going to have to figure out what works for you. You're going to have to write your own Owner's Manual.

Start with the things that set you off - look for what they have in common. Is it having too many things to process at once? Is it noise? Is it sudden or unexpected change? Is it not having time to prepare for a situation, or not having time to process something afterward?

Once you know what sets you off, there are two basic strategies:
A) Ways to prevent them.
B) Ways to deal with them.

For ways to prevent them, look for things you can do to prepare in advance for what sets you off. Maybe that's rehearsing and scripting responses, planning your schedule ahead of time, planning for things going wrong, etc. The best thing for me is to make sure I get enough sleep. Look for things that weaken you and make you more prone to meltdowns.

For ways to deal with them, pay attention to how long it takes you to recover. In the moment of a meltdown, this will help you to know that after [that much time], you will feel better. Also learn to recognize when you are heading for a breakdown, and remember that your thoughts at the time are going to be darker than reality really is. Look for activities and things that soothe you and help you recover, and prepare to have them ready when needed.

That's a start. Understanding yourself, learning to cope, and learning to change is a big project. It's going to take time. You wouldn't get mad at a toddler for falling down when they're trying to learn to walk - be just as forgiving to yourself.

Honestly, that is wonderful advice for anyone. Thank you for your insight.

 

[Nervous Rex]

That's my biggest issue too much going on at once so I explode like a volcano cause I'm unable to deal with it

This gets to me, too. I am currently preparing for a big presentation at work, trying to register a car I bought on Wednesday, and trying to deal with an insurance claim because I got rear-ended on the freeway the day after I bought the car (Thursday was not a good day. I got nothing done at work and I cried the whole way home. Not a good look for a man in his late 40s.)

What helps me is to do everything I can to get things off my mental to-do list. If it's something I can quickly do right now, I do it so I can take it off the list. I put every up-coming event, errand, and deadline into my phone's calendar, with reminders well in advance. I make lists and then number the thing in the order I'm going to do them. Then I only focus on one thing at a time. If I'm at work, I don't think about at-home stuff - and vice versa. I have to remind myself that no one but me seems to get upset when I don't get everything on my list done. It all comes down to reducing the number of things I have to mentally keep track of.

 

[Catherine Crowne]

This gets to me, too. I am currently preparing for a big presentation at work, trying to register a car I bought on Wednesday, and trying to deal with an insurance claim because I got rear-ended on the freeway the day after I bought the car (Thursday was not a good day. I got nothing done at work and I cried the whole way home. Not a good look for a man in his late 40s.)

What helps me is to do everything I can to get things off my mental to-do list. If it's something I can quickly do right now, I do it so I can take it off the list. I put every up-coming event, errand, and deadline into my phone's calendar, with reminders well in advance. I make lists and then number the thing in the order I'm going to do them. Then I only focus on one thing at a time. If I'm at work, I don't think about at-home stuff - and vice versa. I have to remind myself that no one but me seems to get upset when I don't get everything on my list done. It all comes down to reducing the number of things I have to mentally keep track of.

I have to admit. I laughed out loud at your description of your bad day.
And oh yes, I have cried at the most inoppertune time with being overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed easily. And supposedly I’m NT. I joined this forum to get a better understanding of my ASD husband. But Im getting insight that helps me with me.
Threat advice about focusing. I tend to wander with thoughts. Thank you.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I have to admit. I laughed out loud at your description of your bad day.
And oh yes, I have cried at the most inoppertune time with being overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed easily.

It's worth laughing at. The car runs fine - only the rear bumper is damaged, but I sulked and wallowed in it all day.

When I got home, my wife made me call the insurance company. I found out that A) our insurance automatically covers newly purchased cars for 30 days, B) the guy that hit us had the same insurance company, and C) he admitted it was his fault. All I have to do is take it to a shop and send them the bill. If I had pulled myself together and called first thing in the morning, I would have had a much better day.

 

[Catherine Crowne]

It's worth laughing at. The car runs fine - only the rear bumper is damaged, but I sulked and wallowed in it all day.

When I got home, my wife made me call the insurance company. I found out that A) our insurance automatically covers newly purchased cars for 30 days, B) the guy that hit us had the same insurance company, and C) he admitted it was his fault. All I have to do is take it to a shop and send them the bill. If I had pulled myself together and called first thing in the morning, I would have had a much better day.

I know. Thank God for a spouse that can see it all clearly!

 

[Crossbreed]

@ljjesse , what area are you located in? Someone here might be able to point to where to find help with autism.

 

[Catherine Crowne]

@ljjesse , what area are you located in? Someone here might be able to point to where to find help with autism.

I live in a rural area in Idaho. There is very little where I am in the way of mental and emotional help. In fact, I (with the way I present myself here this may be hard to believe) could out do most therapists here.
I have studied much in mental health focusing on depression. But now I am up against an issue that baffles me.

 

[ljjesse]

Anger is a tough problem and can run pretty deep. I sought some help for that myself. One bad thing about it is that those closest to us are often the undeserving recipients of the anger outbursts which is unfair and adds guilt to the mix. Working on protecting those from the anger is a very good thing to try and do. Trying to become self aware and realizing when anger is building up is one step. Then taking some action to avoid a negative interaction with others. One thing I did was let my spouse or family know I was in a bad mood and then keep to myself mostly. There may be non-destructive (or limited destructive) things you can do to vent or release that energy.

Thankyou it truely is hard