sonnesun
Active Member
Hello everyone.
I've come here because after chatting with family. My brothers wife believes I may have Asperger Syndrome. I initially thought I was bipolar which turned out to be false, but people with Asperger's can also struggle hard with depression too, hence my confusion. Chatting with my mum she knew since I was very little I had social developmental problems.
I've done a bit of research into it, and a close friend helped me with an online test (I know they're not conclusive) which I came out quite high on, just 4 points below Definitely, so it's telling me it's highly likely. But the test doesn't paint the whole picture and left out many factors. For a start, I have always struggled keeping down a job which involves multitask repetition as it often confused me, the more tedious the job is, the worse and slower I am. Hence why I always fell behind work in factory production lines. I was always able to hold down cleaning jobs in department stores though, as that would be an unchanging set pattern I would learn, and not having to multitask, rush and keep up.
I do have trouble multitasking, and holding more than one conversation. The many amount of times my friend tried talking to me on webcam whilst I was busy on a website and I don't hear her.
There's many other behavioural factors come into play from childhood up to the present day which I have taken into consideration. Petty pilfering when I was young is one. I also used to rock back and forth on a chair from infancy right through to my young teenage years, always to music. Repetitive behaviour? I find this quite significant.
Because it has never been diagnosed and treated, my issues just lingered and became worse over time. I have read somewhere that people with Asperger's often lack self-esteem, can be easily led and gullible in social behaviour, which was definitely me when I was young. It's the not knowing which holds me back in my life. No idea what's wrong with me and how to correct it. It's made me into a reckless person, I feel I haven't been able to mature as quickly as I would have liked to this day. I have always been an anxious person right back to when I was a small child. I actually didn't realise it was anxiety until my 30's, so it was actually more frightening to me sending me into a permanent nightmarish daze for maybe hours. Since I've realised it was anxiety, the daze spells has stopped. I guess not knowing it was anxiety brought upon even more anxiety on me.
"May not understand social banter and become the target of bullying and teasing."...Yep for most of my life. I also know this with me on certain online banter forums. I would take things too literally (another symptom) in the off-topic areas, and would become very neurotic at other people. in the end I was bullied and trolled relentlessly. I've since learned to manage this though.
I also pay a great deal of attention to detail in what I write and how I write things, checking spelling mistakes and grammar. It made me remember that I would often delete posts and repost it with corrections, as I HATE the "edited by" tag underneath, which has annoyed a few in the past. Attention with the smallest details is common with Asperger's too I believe? I guess this is why my grammar is pretty good, and I like to explain things in a more concise direct way. It still turns into a bloody essay though. Unfortunately a few people mistake my more direct manner as patronising.
My lack of self esteem grew more serious well into my adult life as I also grew up with Cleft Palate which is a facial disfigurement, and speech impairment. It was very severe for most of my life with its own separate set of social stigmas and social anxieties too, then couple this with Asperger's and that's a pretty lethal combination. Most people I know with Cleft palate and speech problems aren't Asperger's and lead full happy productive lives, so I know it's nothing to do with that although it likely helped aggravate it. My speech therapist told my mum that it was just due to my speech problems when I was little, maybe it plays a factor but I feel it's a misdiagnosis. Again, more recently a councilor believed I had nothing more than anxiety. I disagree, besides she wasn't an expert either.
It has also made me more aware of this odd tic I have, where I would subconsciously quickly flinch my head to the right side and back again with a quiet erk noise occasionally. Yep I know how strange that sounds. I've read that it's called a stimmer in the ASD community? There are other factors which further confirms my belief of AS, but they're some of my main findings. Why am I suddenly starting to feel a personal connection with that kid "Tweek" out of South Park?
If I am finally diagnosed with this, then I finally have the answers to just about everything, that I don't just do certain things solely because I'm stupid, lazy, unintelligent, uncaring, careless and thoughtless without a conscience, etc. It's far more involved and deeper than that. Hopefully I can then move on which will help alleviate much of the stresses which I've carried over the course of a lifetime.
Anyway I will end it here for now. If I'm not on the autism spectrum disorder then I must have something nobody else in the world has, as it's far more than just simple anxiety that I feel I've also been misdiagnosed with.
Do you think it's likely I have Asperger Syndrome? Anyway if you've gotten this far, thanks for reading.
Edit: Eek, it has a "last edited" tag at the bottom and I can't delete and repost. Nooooooooo, lol.
I've come here because after chatting with family. My brothers wife believes I may have Asperger Syndrome. I initially thought I was bipolar which turned out to be false, but people with Asperger's can also struggle hard with depression too, hence my confusion. Chatting with my mum she knew since I was very little I had social developmental problems.
I've done a bit of research into it, and a close friend helped me with an online test (I know they're not conclusive) which I came out quite high on, just 4 points below Definitely, so it's telling me it's highly likely. But the test doesn't paint the whole picture and left out many factors. For a start, I have always struggled keeping down a job which involves multitask repetition as it often confused me, the more tedious the job is, the worse and slower I am. Hence why I always fell behind work in factory production lines. I was always able to hold down cleaning jobs in department stores though, as that would be an unchanging set pattern I would learn, and not having to multitask, rush and keep up.
I do have trouble multitasking, and holding more than one conversation. The many amount of times my friend tried talking to me on webcam whilst I was busy on a website and I don't hear her.
There's many other behavioural factors come into play from childhood up to the present day which I have taken into consideration. Petty pilfering when I was young is one. I also used to rock back and forth on a chair from infancy right through to my young teenage years, always to music. Repetitive behaviour? I find this quite significant.
Because it has never been diagnosed and treated, my issues just lingered and became worse over time. I have read somewhere that people with Asperger's often lack self-esteem, can be easily led and gullible in social behaviour, which was definitely me when I was young. It's the not knowing which holds me back in my life. No idea what's wrong with me and how to correct it. It's made me into a reckless person, I feel I haven't been able to mature as quickly as I would have liked to this day. I have always been an anxious person right back to when I was a small child. I actually didn't realise it was anxiety until my 30's, so it was actually more frightening to me sending me into a permanent nightmarish daze for maybe hours. Since I've realised it was anxiety, the daze spells has stopped. I guess not knowing it was anxiety brought upon even more anxiety on me.
"May not understand social banter and become the target of bullying and teasing."...Yep for most of my life. I also know this with me on certain online banter forums. I would take things too literally (another symptom) in the off-topic areas, and would become very neurotic at other people. in the end I was bullied and trolled relentlessly. I've since learned to manage this though.
I also pay a great deal of attention to detail in what I write and how I write things, checking spelling mistakes and grammar. It made me remember that I would often delete posts and repost it with corrections, as I HATE the "edited by" tag underneath, which has annoyed a few in the past. Attention with the smallest details is common with Asperger's too I believe? I guess this is why my grammar is pretty good, and I like to explain things in a more concise direct way. It still turns into a bloody essay though. Unfortunately a few people mistake my more direct manner as patronising.
My lack of self esteem grew more serious well into my adult life as I also grew up with Cleft Palate which is a facial disfigurement, and speech impairment. It was very severe for most of my life with its own separate set of social stigmas and social anxieties too, then couple this with Asperger's and that's a pretty lethal combination. Most people I know with Cleft palate and speech problems aren't Asperger's and lead full happy productive lives, so I know it's nothing to do with that although it likely helped aggravate it. My speech therapist told my mum that it was just due to my speech problems when I was little, maybe it plays a factor but I feel it's a misdiagnosis. Again, more recently a councilor believed I had nothing more than anxiety. I disagree, besides she wasn't an expert either.
It has also made me more aware of this odd tic I have, where I would subconsciously quickly flinch my head to the right side and back again with a quiet erk noise occasionally. Yep I know how strange that sounds. I've read that it's called a stimmer in the ASD community? There are other factors which further confirms my belief of AS, but they're some of my main findings. Why am I suddenly starting to feel a personal connection with that kid "Tweek" out of South Park?
If I am finally diagnosed with this, then I finally have the answers to just about everything, that I don't just do certain things solely because I'm stupid, lazy, unintelligent, uncaring, careless and thoughtless without a conscience, etc. It's far more involved and deeper than that. Hopefully I can then move on which will help alleviate much of the stresses which I've carried over the course of a lifetime.
Anyway I will end it here for now. If I'm not on the autism spectrum disorder then I must have something nobody else in the world has, as it's far more than just simple anxiety that I feel I've also been misdiagnosed with.
Do you think it's likely I have Asperger Syndrome? Anyway if you've gotten this far, thanks for reading.
Edit: Eek, it has a "last edited" tag at the bottom and I can't delete and repost. Nooooooooo, lol.
Last edited:
