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Hi. I'm a 60 year old diagnosed at 58.

Pats

Pats

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I was relieved when I was diagnosed because it explained why my life was such a struggle when it seemed so easy for everyone else. I never belonged anywhere. I'm divorced (should never have been married - I'm just not capable). I love and care about people but ended up feeling tortured because I didn't even have understanding myself why when my husband would do certain things it felt like he was deliberately trying to torture me.

But I raised 4 children on my own - no support of any kind and went to school to become an RN so I could support them on my own. I somehow did it - hating every second of my job. I did fine with my patients because I knew that was my job - but my bosses and co-workers always seemed to have a problem with me and I stayed in trouble because of that.

I look back and not sure how I did it but proud that I did and now I have 4 grown, stable children with their own families and they are happy and doing well. I am doing better now than ever in my past. I mostly am home in my comfort zone and my children and their families are my circle of friends. I have some friends from church but they have learned not to expect me to join in outside functions.

My attitude has become I spend my entire life struggling with all this and now I can rest and accept what I'm most comfortable doing - mostly staying home, making friendships become easier thanks to the computer that I don't have that much contact and have to talk and all that other stuff that's uncomfortable. I finally can be myself without having to do things just out of responsibility.
 
Hi Pats :)

welcome to af.png
 
Hi, they got you quite late in life then man :)

Not to say you haven't got a LONG time left to live till they take you away in a Hearse.

Welcome to the forum :)
 
Hi Pats! I am 64 and can really relate to your story! I’ve been thinking I was Aspie but only fully accepted it recently. What a relief it has been!
Like you, I’m just now beginning to enjoy my life because I’m not going to waste any more time trying to figure “normal” people. I enjoy staying home watching t.v., chatting on my iPad and walking my dog.
 
Hi Pats! I'm Dana and I was diagnosed at the age of 2 with Aspergers (I'm 13 now), so I have always known I have it. You deserve a pat on the back for raising your children and getting through life without a diagnosis.
Good job!!!!
And welcome to Autism Forums:)
 
Welcome to AutismForums! I was not diagnosed until age 62 and like you, was relieved to get answers about myself that I had all my life.
 
Hi Pats!

Wow...4 kids and an RN. I think you did great!:)

I was diagnosed in my early 30's after my son was born...husband and in-laws at the time kept insisting something "had" to be wrong with me.

Spent the first couple years in a semi state of denial, went in for a second opinion a few years later with no background so they couldn't refer to the first diagnosis, to basically hear the same thing as the first one told me for more money.:rolleyes:

I was angry for awhile over all the time I felt I had wasted trying to "fit the mold" so to speak, but relieved to finally know.
 
Welcome Pats!
Same age here. Didn't know anything about it until I was 58.
Glad I found out since it explains my life and myself.
Before the ASD was found, I was just diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and depression.

This is a good place to be for understanding even more and you're not alone.
:D
 
Hey Pats. Our kids are our most important responsibility. Great job.

I know well the feeling of not belonging, so sorry your husband was not there to support you.
 
Icequeen said:
Hi Pats!

Wow...4 kids and an RN. I think you did great!:)

I was diagnosed in my early 30's after my son was born...husband and in-laws at the time kept insisting something "had" to be wrong with me.

Spent the first couple years in a semi state of denial, went in for a second opinion a few years later with no background so they couldn't refer to the first diagnosis, to basically hear the same thing as the first one told me for more money.:rolleyes:

I was angry for awhile over all the time I felt I had wasted trying to "fit the mold" so to speak, but relieved to finally know.
Click to expand...
You know, I was angry for a while, too and felt like my life had been a waste for not knowing and spending so many years just struggling with myself. There were so many signs - why didn't someone pick up on any of them. I know when I was in second grade and going to a speech therapist (why did my parents wait so long) - I was quite older when my mom told me they wanted a psychologist involved but my dad wouldn't go along with it. Maybe things would have been different.
 
Horsegirl said:
Hi Pats! I'm Dana and I was diagnosed at the age of 2 with Aspergers (I'm 13 now), so I have always known I have it. You deserve a pat on the back for raising your children and getting through life without a diagnosis.
Good job!!!!
And welcome to Autism Forums:)
Click to expand...
Hi Dana. I'll be interested to hear how you handle getting through school, peers, dating, etc. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. I can tell you a lot of what not to do's. lol I remember all those struggles well.
 
SusanLR said:
Welcome Pats!
Same age here. Didn't know anything about it until I was 58.
Glad I found out since it explains my life and myself.
Before the ASD was found, I was just diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and depression.

This is a good place to be for understanding even more and you're not alone.
:D
Click to expand...
Yes, I was looking at all my diagnosis' and thought they made me sound like a crazy person when I'm the most sane person I know. :) (GAD, social anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc) But most of it stems from the autism.
 
Thanks everyone for the greetings. I'm impressed with the number of responses and so quickly. I've got lots I'd like to hear from others about. Since my diagnosis I look up specific information, but don't get the personal experiences. It's nice to finally find somewhere to go to talk to people who deal with or have dealt with the same issues and actually know what I'm talking about. Thanks again and looking forward to hearing more.
 
I was diagnosed in 2012, and had struggled all my life with not fitting in and never being able to fix the things I was very bad at, and which made me think I was too lazy and perhaps as retarded as everyone had told me I was.

I was angry before the diagnosis because I had tried hard to cure memory problems, to be able to participate in social events and gathering, to remember faces and people, to be capable of recalling names. So many things I was bad at, so much I needed to improve on.

The diagnosis, and the details of autistic traits that it gave me, made me realize that I truly made sense for the first time ever, and that there was nothing 'wrong' I needed to fix, just a something hard to learn to live with and accept. It also showed me why I was so good at the things I have chosen to do over the years, and why those things were not a fluke, and not simply chance.

It also allowed me to understand my youngest daughter, who I realised was also on the spectrum, and to help her navigate the world around her which to her was as confusing and complicated as it had been for me.

I am happier now than I have ever been in life before. More settled, more confident in myself and the future. It isn't that being on the spectrum is a positive thing, but that knowing I am most certainly is.

Welcome.... and I hope we are collectively as helpful to you as all these great people have been for me.
 
Pats said:
You know, I was angry for a while, too and felt like my life had been a waste for not knowing and spending so many years just struggling with myself. There were so many signs - why didn't someone pick up on any of them. I know when I was in second grade and going to a speech therapist (why did my parents wait so long) - I was quite older when my mom told me they wanted a psychologist involved but my dad wouldn't go along with it. Maybe things would have been different.
Click to expand...

My parents I believe were both on the spectrum, I am 100% certain my dad would have been diagnosed quicker than I was.;)

He was always the one that was pushing me to "fit the mold". Sometimes I felt like a failure trying to live up to his expectations on certain things only to fall flat and have to try, try again.

I learned much later in life how he struggled to do the same with his parents. He passed away at age 50, so he wasn't around when I was diagnosed, I wish he would have been, I think it would have answered a lot of questions for him too.
 
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