Hi, I'm a parent to an Aspie kid - worried about nylon/pantyhose fetish!!

[jjuggle]

Hello,
I have a 12 year old son who was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3 years old, he's now 12 and his a fantastic kid, his only problem is with GIRLS!!! I have realised that he has a thing for tights (pantyhose). When he was little he used to touch girls legs, and even his Grans when she was wearing nylons!
Anyway, it's hit me today, he's been having trouble at school, staring etc, making girls feel uncomfortable, they are working with him about 'friendships' but I've realised he doesn't like certain girls unless they are wearing tights! I'm the only person who's worked this out, we've talked about it and he said one girl thought he was looking at her shoes. We go to a special needs group, tonight it was just him and another girl, they have met each other about four times previously and had limited contact/conversation (she's 17). Usually, the Mums get together in another room and chat/coffee while the kids do art therapy/sport. The playworker came in and said she thought my son had a crush on the girl, trying to get close to her - I said I thought that was odd as he'd never shown any interest in her before then I realised, SHE WAS WEARING TIGHTS!!! I told the playworker and the other Mums, they were great, said that it's a sensory thing and they would help him with this but I'd be really grateful for any tips on dealing with this from anyone who has any experience either as a parent or living with this. I think he is trying hard to resist compulsively touching but obviously is finding it a bit difficult - will it get better? Is there any way I can help him? Thanks for any advice x

 

[Ereth]

Hello!

I can't say for sure what will happen with your son's fetish as he grows older, as I'm not any sort of expert in this area, but it's great that he's getting support. I think he'll eventually learn to control himself as long as he continues to receive help.

 

[Christy]

Hi jjuggle, and welcome to AC.

I was wondering if you could get him a pair of knee highs that he could wear under his socks so if he feels the urge for that particular sensation, he could discreetly reach down and rub his own calf. This would help the craving to pass and he wouldn't need to do anything that might be misunderstood by people who don't understand that he's not doing anything untoward. Couple this with reminders that unsolicited touching of the opposite sex can be viewed in a criminal way, and he should take to the alternative and eventually the desire should abate.

By the way, if he's an aspie, it's more than likely a sensory compulsion rather than a fetish.

I wish you and your son all the best.

 

[jjuggle]

Hi jjuggle, and welcome to AC.

I was wondering if you could get him a pair of knee highs that he could wear under his socks so if he feels the urge for that particular sensation, he could discreetly reach down and rub his own calf. This would help the craving to pass and he wouldn't need to do anything that might be misunderstood by people who don't understand that he's not doing anything untoward. Couple this with reminders that unsolicited touching of the opposite sex can be viewed in a criminal way, and he should take to the alternative and eventually the desire should abate.

By the way, if he's an aspie, it's more than likely a sensory compulsion rather than a fetish.

I wish you and your son all the best.

Thanks, you're right! Funnily enough he wears these long nylon rugby sock for PE, (sport) at school, twice a week and he loves them and now you've said that, maybe it would be good if he wears long socks under his trousers - great idea! THANK YOU

 

[Salmongirl17]

I agree with Christy on this one

Oh, Hello and Welcome!!

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

I hope it works out for you; let us know how he goes

 

[jjuggle]

Well, we've discussed the long socks and he says it doesn't help and isn't the same sensation at all Back to the drawing board!!

 

[Ereth]

Maybe you could cut the ends off a pair of nylons so that he can wear them under his socks. I don't really know if that'll help him control the craving for the feeling of them, but at least he won't be reaching for other people.

 

[Vanilla]

If wearing them is inconvenient, or impractical, maybe you could simply cut off a bit of the fabric, and stretch it over an object, like a ball, or something. Then he can carry it in his pocket, rather than having to wear it?

 

[Tarragon]

If wearing them is inconvenient, or impractical, maybe you could simply cut off a bit of the fabric, and stretch it over an object, like a ball, or something. Then he can carry it in his pocket, rather than having to wear it?

Exactly my thoughts. It's not wearing them that is the solution - its just the feeling of touching them with his hand? Much simpler to have a piece of it in his pocket he can hold whenever he wants this. Definitely need to prevent problems with this and other people not understanding his intentions. I hope he is logical enough to see the reasoning behind why he can't just go around touching girls legs whenever he wants to!!!

 

[Ereth]

Adding to the nylon + object idea: wrap a small stress ball in nylon. The stress ball should be durable and not filled with a toxic material though. (I've seen some that are.)

 

[jjuggle]

Thanks for the replies! I think a covered stress ball may work

 

[Kruger]

Hello,
I have a 12 year old son who was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3 years old, he's now 12 and his a fantastic kid, his only problem is with GIRLS!!! I have realised that he has a thing for tights (pantyhose). When he was little he used to touch girls legs, and even his Grans when she was wearing nylons!
Anyway, it's hit me today, he's been having trouble at school, staring etc, making girls feel uncomfortable, they are working with him about 'friendships' but I've realised he doesn't like certain girls unless they are wearing tights! I'm the only person who's worked this out, we've talked about it and he said one girl thought he was looking at her shoes. We go to a special needs group, tonight it was just him and another girl, they have met each other about four times previously and had limited contact/conversation (she's 17). Usually, the Mums get together in another room and chat/coffee while the kids do art therapy/sport. The playworker came in and said she thought my son had a crush on the girl, trying to get close to her - I said I thought that was odd as he'd never shown any interest in her before then I realised, SHE WAS WEARING TIGHTS!!! I told the playworker and the other Mums, they were great, said that it's a sensory thing and they would help him with this but I'd be really grateful for any tips on dealing with this from anyone who has any experience either as a parent or living with this. I think he is trying hard to resist compulsively touching but obviously is finding it a bit difficult - will it get better? Is there any way I can help him? Thanks for any advice x

Hi I am a 40 something man that understands ... I too was deeply attracted to girls and women when they wore nylons as a small child,adolescent,young adult,and even now... I seemed to love the way they look on the female form.. Be it the legs or the feet especially... I have been inappropriate alot as a kid... No one in our society is really allowed to admire a womans nylon feet... Or your labeled a creep... But im not a creep... It was and is a sensory thing... My mother wore them almost always back in the 70's when i was a small child... Not sure if this has anything to do with it or not... As a teen i tried them on and it just wasnt the same... Not for me.... I have a thing for girls wearing them... I have much more to explain but a creep im not...

 

[Kruger]

It is a texture sensory thing... However.. I dont think you can separate it from a persons sexuality... However young a person may be... There is still a sex appeal... They may not understand that appeal but its there... Women view pantyhose as socks that work for the type of shoes they wear... Men view nylons as a sexy thing women wear...,not entirely the fault of anyone...

 

[Kruger]

It is a texture sensory thing... However.. I dont think you can separate it from a persons sexuality... However young a person may be... There is still a sex appeal... They may not understand that appeal but its there... Women view pantyhose as socks that work for the type of shoes they wear... Men view nylons as a sexy thing women wear...,not entirely the fault of anyone...

I didnt realize i was ASD until my late 30's.... Looking back i realize that i had serious sovial problems as a young child,adoloescent,young adult... I guess other children could tell i was different... It usually didnt end well...

 

[Rocco]

I have a sensory thing for brand new hoodies / bunny hugs. It is not sexual or a Fetish, but a texture emotion. I love the feel of the inside of a new hooded sweatshirt.

I am not judging or attacking your word selection, although I would be more inclined to call a situation like this a sensory thing instead of a fetish. That's just me personally. The dynamic of the nylons being on a female does add a hint of a sexual nature, though. Maybe it's more of a fascination? I'm certain, as a Mother you are THE best Judge of his behavior.

I was going to suggest what other already have, get him some nylons to hold in his pocket or touch when he wants to. To satisfy the compulsion. If this is a compulsion more than a strictly sensory issue, I have no I dead how to safely fight a compulsion. Putting him actually into nylons is not a decision I would make for any of my children in a similar situation.

Again, please don't take my words as any kind of judgement or negative opposition. Just sharing my thoughts as an Aspie and a father.

Welcome aboard! Happy to see supportive parents on the site
Best wishes


Lol, oops I did not see the origin date of this post, till after posting.

 

[Peace]

From what I can tell, most men (including myself) are attracted to nylons or tights.

 

[Alex Bogue]

I know I am.

 

[Redphoenix1178]

There is one question is it normal for someone in there 20's who loves his fiancé but yet loves tights as much as she does bc she wears them so why can't he his family doesn't seem to think it's right bc he is engaged yet likes tights tho is there anything wrong with that?

 

[ancusmitis]

Hello,
I have a 12 year old son who was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3 years old, he's now 12 and his a fantastic kid, his only problem is with GIRLS!!! I have realised that he has a thing for tights (pantyhose). When he was little he used to touch girls legs, and even his Grans when she was wearing nylons!
Anyway, it's hit me today, he's been having trouble at school, staring etc, making girls feel uncomfortable, they are working with him about 'friendships' but I've realised he doesn't like certain girls unless they are wearing tights! I'm the only person who's worked this out, we've talked about it and he said one girl thought he was looking at her shoes. We go to a special needs group, tonight it was just him and another girl, they have met each other about four times previously and had limited contact/conversation (she's 17). Usually, the Mums get together in another room and chat/coffee while the kids do art therapy/sport. The playworker came in and said she thought my son had a crush on the girl, trying to get close to her - I said I thought that was odd as he'd never shown any interest in her before then I realised, SHE WAS WEARING TIGHTS!!! I told the playworker and the other Mums, they were great, said that it's a sensory thing and they would help him with this but I'd be really grateful for any tips on dealing with this from anyone who has any experience either as a parent or living with this. I think he is trying hard to resist compulsively touching but obviously is finding it a bit difficult - will it get better? Is there any way I can help him? Thanks for any advice x

There's nothing wrong with liking tights, but it sounds like you probably need to talk to him about consent. Things like don't touch people without their explicit permission, consent to one kind of touch does not mean consent to another kind of touch and so on. Let him know that too much looking can make people uncomfortable. People will probably always find him a bit odd, but as long as he isn't doing anything rapey then just let him be himself. If he makes the choice to try and conform, I say feel free top support that, but not everyone wants to be typical and not everyone can. Above all, no one should have to.