Hi! I'm Amy :)

[amarie.]

hello everyone! my name is Amy, im 30 years old and im 99.9% sure i have Aspergers. im hoping to get a diagnoses sometime in the future and make it official so family and friends will take me seriously. im not really sure what to say on here but im so glad ive found this forum i have obsessively been doing a lot of research on Aspergers and found out that it fits me to a T which made me extremely happy because i finally had a name to put to my mannerisms and everything that made me feel different from everyone else. ive had "issues" since i was little but was only clinically diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ocd when i was 5. the meds my drs have given me has never worked and my mom just always thought i was lazy or exaggerating everything and she would usually get mad at me for my behavior so ive never had the support i needed in life. the only person that ive talked to about aspergers is my boyfriend of 10 years, he agrees that i have the symptoms but hasnt done research so he still doesnt really understand it. im here for support, answers and to find similarities in myself and others so i dont just feel like "that weird girl".

some of my symptoms are: social awkwardness, people usually get angry at me for inturrupting and i dont mean to, awkward body language, i avoid eye contact (even with my own boyfriend), volume control issues (my boyfriend has to constantly remind me to lower my voice or speak up), obsessiveness (mostly with cartoons, harry potter and certain bands, i am constantly talking about them which drives my bf crazy), constantly watching the same shows or listening to the same songs (i also do this to soothe myself or escape reality), rocking back and forth when i stand, wringing my hands/picking at my cuticles or scabs/i clench my fists all the time without realizing it, lack of empthy, im very sensitive to bright lights and cannot touch certain foods or materials, i have no sense of direction and horrible balance, i'd rather be alone (preferred), embarrassing meltdowns and im sure theres more.

my quirks and mannerisms have caused some friction in my relationship so i would also love to get advice on that while im here. i have been with my boyfriend for over 10 years and i do a lot of things that i cant help that drives him crazy and he takes a lot of my actions personally even though i dont mean it in that way. we have a really good relationship but since niether of us can explain my actions half the time we do go through some rough patches.

sorry for the rant, i tried not to make it that long. thank you for reading

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard
It's a great resourceful community here, hope you enjoy it

 

[amarie.]

Welcome aboard
It's a great resourceful community here, hope you enjoy it
View attachment 19087

thank you!

 

[Progster]

Hi and welcome to the forum. You've come to the right place to learn more about Asperger's and share your experiences or opinions with others

 

[amarie.]

Hi and welcome to the forum. You've come to the right place to learn more about Asperger's and share your experiences or opinions with others

Thank you so much, this is exactly what I've been looking for

 

[NTgirl4276]

you've found yourself among friends here. welcome, Amy!

 

[Omega]

I hope you enjoy your time here, Amy. Looking forward to reading your post. Welcome and good luck!

 

[Tom]

Hi,
It really does sound like you are, just from what you describe. But you know we are just a bunch of aspies or people with connections to aspies here so its like guesswork on our part. Have you taken any of the free online self tests?

 

[amarie.]

you've found yourself among friends here. welcome, Amy!

thank you so much

 

[amarie.]

Hi,
It really does sound like you are, just from what you describe. But you know we are just a bunch of aspies or people with connections to aspies here so its like guesswork on our part. Have you taken any of the free online self tests?

yea, its complete guesswork. ive looked into drs i could go to and see what their opinion would be but i either dont have the right insurance or dont have the money for it. i have taken some self tests online and they've all placed me on the spectrum. i was lurking on here yesterday and saw a graph tests people have taken so i took it myself and this is the result:

so if i actually see a dr about this and he tells me i dont have Aspergers then i dont know what is wrong with me lol..

 

[Tom]

yea, its complete guesswork. ive looked into drs i could go to and see what their opinion would be but i either dont have the right insurance or dont have the money for it. i have taken some self tests online and they've all placed me on the spectrum. i was lurking on here yesterday and saw a graph tests people have taken so i took it myself and this is the result.
...so if i actually see a dr about this and he tells me i dont have Aspergers then i dont know what is wrong with me lol..

...

If you see a Doctor and they tell you you don't have it I would wonder what is wrong with them. And you can always get a second opinion.

Really I can't be sure, but that graph is pretty solidly on the autistic side. And other things you mention, like the rocking for instance are very indicative. We call that 'Stimming' btw. Its rocking, shaking a leg or foot, flapping a hand, etc. Something physical that we do that seems to help us relax, possibly by helping us block out outside noise or stimulus.

Don't give up on investigating medical coverage. Its sad how often you will be told 'No' when the real answer is 'Yes' if you push the right buttons in the right order. Go to the supervisor of the person that said no, and if they say no, then Quality Control.

I will mention quite a few of us do not seek diagnosis for various reasons. Mostly its when having one will not be any real benefit and also to avoid the negative sterotyping associated with it. In some cases it can be a career killer. It is necessary however at times when you need to seek specific benefits or programs or need help getting accommodations in a workplace.

 

[amarie.]

...

If you see a Doctor and they tell you you don't have it I would wonder what is wrong with them. And you can always get a second opinion.

Really I can't be sure, but that graph is pretty solidly on the autistic side. And other things you mention, like the rocking for instance are very indicative. We call that 'Stimming' btw. Its rocking, shaking a leg or foot, flapping a hand, etc. Something physical that we do that seems to help us relax, possibly by helping us block out outside noise or stimulus.

Don't give up on investigating medical coverage. Its sad how often you will be told 'No' when the real answer is 'Yes' if you push the right buttons in the right order. Go to the supervisor of the person that said no, and if they say no, then Quality Control.

I will mention quite a few of us do not seek diagnosis for various reasons. Mostly its when having one will not be any real benefit and also to avoid the negative sterotyping associated with it. In some cases it can be a career killer. It is necessary however at times when you need to seek specific benefits or programs or need help getting accommodations in a workplace.

I obsessively research Aspergers in adults. The more I read the more I see myself in the condition. I've also learned that it's harder to get a diagnoses if you're a girl because it was originally known as a male only condition so I have more of a chance getting diagnosed as bipolar than Aspergers. It's very frustrating. As you mentioned the negative stereotype of it, that makes me nervous as well. I'm unemployed right now and I thought if I was diagnosed it would help my employer understand me more but at the same time it might make it harder for me to find a job if I was labeled with Aspergers. The world is a confusing place. I don't grasp information very well and it overwhelms me, I'm not dumb but I may come off as slow to most people and I'm hoping being diagnosed would let people know there is a legit reason for why I am the way I am but I'm sure a lot of people that I know would just think it's an "excuse". My entire life I always thought I was not meant for this world but I never understood why, Aspergers is making me understand why I've always thought that and now it all makes sense.

 

[Tom]

On disclosure, whether you get a diagnosis or not, I would be very careful not to tell anyone unless trully necessary. It is in fact none of their business and well covered under Privacy laws. You are not required to disclose it in most jobs. Its only very specific fields, like the military that would require it.

There are exceptions, like a program that is designed for people with mental conditions, or a serious problem at work that justifies the risk of disclosing it to a supervisor. Some bosses can be quite good about
it, but you won't know till you say something and so it can entail some risk.

But I would think it normally better not to bring it up when seeking a job. Better to get the job under normal circumstances and establish yourself as a good worker first.

You can improve your chances by investigating jobs from a Aspie-friendly perspective, thinking ahead to what seems like something you could handle and avoiding what seems too difficult.

 

[amarie.]

On disclosure, whether you get a diagnosis or not, I would be very careful not to tell anyone unless trully necessary. It is in fact none of their business and well covered under Privacy laws. You are not required to disclose it in most jobs. Its only very specific fields, like the military that would require it.

There are exceptions, like a program that is designed for people with mental conditions, or a serious problem at work that justifies the risk of disclosing it to a supervisor. Some bosses can be quite good about
it, but you won't know till you say something and so it can entail some risk.

But I would think it normally better not to bring it up when seeking a job. Better to get the job under normal circumstances and establish yourself as a good worker first.

You can improve your chances by investigating jobs from a Aspie-friendly perspective, thinking ahead to what seems like something you could handle and avoiding what seems too difficult.

Thank you very much, that's good to know for the future. I'll keep that in mind