hi im ben and i need friends on my planet like me

[TheForestAsperian9o]

hello all my name is ben, im 32 years old leo.

i live with my girlfriend and waiting for an apartment of my own which i never had in my life and im so proud of myself

i am high functioning and im dealing with tons of stress and isolation right now. i feel like a hermit and i dont know who to reach out too.
i was scared to reach out first time, and here i go with myself...

---

in my early days i love rocking back and forth in my bed, it was so amazing, and felt so good!
! i always loved imagining things growing up, always loved manifestations, and pure imagination. I remember loving nature, and wanting to get lost in the woods. Climb trees . i had a hard time growing out of diapers as a child ages 5-9 years old. i used to wear them bewcause they felt so snug and comfy. (i greow out of that phase at age 9)
. My parents never knew that fact and i just told everyone on here. i guess i trust you guys

also i was severely neglected and abused in an orphanage, and growing up had some serios issues. At an early age i remember reading
books at the breakfast, lunch, and dinner table. i would play the same song over and over again on the radio because it sounded good, and wanted to replay and replay
it over and over again. also vcrs, and certain sounds and textures were so amazing growing up!!!

i also loveeeeeeee to run i used to run all the time. i was extremely extremly fast and i could run again. i miss running. (maybe i can find a track club for people my age)

I had a extreme fascination with computers at an early age. ( i still do today). I enjoy technology, and computer science today.

i have a history of meltdowns, crying fits, extreme anger, extreme bezerker type rager where i would hit myself or smash my fists into walls or doors.

i tortured and killed animals and used to poke the dog, and hit animals because of my severe severe neglect and who i am today.I am not proud of what i did but thanks to the doctors and psychiatrists i was able to grow into a more productive adult because i was very close to going to the state hospital at 17.

if anyone has heard of Beth Thomas- Child of rage i was pretty much her twin with the issues i had like hers. My memories of what i did to animals is extremely graphic ,and not pretty.

Im happy i accept unconditional love today thanks to my doctors.

its been now 15 years since i was that violent and did anything). 14 suicide attempts, and many many many hospital visits, homelessness.

i haven't tried to kill myself in now 8 years and i celebrated my first-year anniversary with my girlfriend. im in therapy for my issues, and it seems like life is improving drastically for me,.

i just need friends, im lost on another planet........

ps I love animals today, i love parrots, and baby birds.i love computers, marijuana, growing marijuana, i love feeding birds, and rescuing animals. i love computer games, and art galleries. I love to smile more today

 

[Rodafina]

Hi Ben and welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here. Thanks for sharing your story and giving us your trust. It sounds like you have a lot of diverse interests. Glad that you have found us!

 

[Outdated]

Hi and welcome Ben. It sounds like you've had an epic journey to get to where you are now, and to be able to turn your life around a full 180 degrees like that is amazing. I hope you can inspire others.

 

[1ForAll]

hello all my name is ben, im 32 years old leo.

i live with my girlfriend and waiting for an apartment of my own which i never had in my life and im so proud of myself

i am high functioning and im dealing with tons of stress and isolation right now. i feel like a hermit and i dont know who to reach out too.
i was scared to reach out first time, and here i go with myself...

---

in my early days i love rocking back and forth in my bed, it was so amazing, and felt so good!
! i always loved imagining things growing up, always loved manifestations, and pure imagination. I remember loving nature, and wanting to get lost in the woods. Climb trees . i had a hard time growing out of diapers as a child ages 5-9 years old. i used to wear them bewcause they felt so snug and comfy. (i greow out of that phase at age 9)
. My parents never knew that fact and i just told everyone on here. i guess i trust you guys

also i was severely neglected and abused in an orphanage, and growing up had some serios issues. At an early age i remember reading
books at the breakfast, lunch, and dinner table. i would play the same song over and over again on the radio because it sounded good, and wanted to replay and replay
it over and over again. also vcrs, and certain sounds and textures were so amazing growing up!!!

i also loveeeeeeee to run i used to run all the time. i was extremely extremly fast and i could run again. i miss running. (maybe i can find a track club for people my age)

I had a extreme fascination with computers at an early age. ( i still do today). I enjoy technology, and computer science today.

i have a history of meltdowns, crying fits, extreme anger, extreme bezerker type rager where i would hit myself or smash my fists into walls or doors.

i tortured and killed animals and used to poke the dog, and hit animals because of my severe severe neglect and who i am today.I am not proud of what i did but thanks to the doctors and psychiatrists i was able to grow into a more productive adult because i was very close to going to the state hospital at 17.

if anyone has heard of Beth Thomas- Child of rage i was pretty much her twin with the issues i had like hers. My memories of what i did to animals is extremely graphic ,and not pretty.

Im happy i accept unconditional love today thanks to my doctors.

its been now 15 years since i was that violent and did anything). 14 suicide attempts, and many many many hospital visits, homelessness.

i haven't tried to kill myself in now 8 years and i celebrated my first-year anniversary with my girlfriend. im in therapy for my issues, and it seems like life is improving drastically for me,.

i just need friends, im lost on another planet........

ps I love animals today, i love parrots, and baby birds.i love computers, marijuana, growing marijuana, i love feeding birds, and rescuing animals. i love computer games, and art galleries. I love to smile more today

It seems like you have made some great strides moving forward, so I am glad for you there. Lots here are into computer things, games, art, alternative meds or treatments and had or have some meltdowns, self harm or other such issues. And lots strongly care about animals, so I am glad that disturbing past is behind you there too.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

@TheForestAsperian9o, you've found your people. Welcome.

It takes some of us quite a while to sort of "settle in" to the idea that we are not, and never will be, "like them". Perhaps, someday, you will realize that you are probably better off NOT being "like them". I look at the world we live in and just shake my head in amazement of the stupidity, the harm we do to one another, the lack of empathy, the tribalistic behaviors, etc. Why, oh why, would any autistic want to be like that? Why do we put up with others toxic behaviors towards us because we don't behave like that? Why do we get so anxious and beaten down psychologically because we don't "fit in" with that? Seems a bit misguided. We've been fed a lifetime of false narrative, have been marginalized from "their club", and been subjected to psychological and physical abuse because we are unable to "bend the knee" to their demands of being a member. Bizarre, when you think about it. At some point we need to rise above, take the higher ground here, show them how to be a good citizen, lead by example, in order to save humanity from themselves, for Pete's sake.

You know, for as much as I know I am different, that I have my sensory, social, communication, and intellectual issues, I am darn glad I am NOT neurotypical.

I think it's past time that we flip that narrative upside down, that somehow, WE have the disorder. When you put things into a different perspective and context, it seems that the neurotypical world is pretty "disordered". Thought for the day.

 

[tazz]

Thank you for sharing. I'm fairly new here as well but I really like it. Hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[Knit Hat]

hello all my name is ben, im 32 years old leo.

i live with my girlfriend and waiting for an apartment of my own which i never had in my life and im so proud of myself

i am high functioning and im dealing with tons of stress and isolation right now. i feel like a hermit and i dont know who to reach out too.
i was scared to reach out first time, and here i go with myself...

---

in my early days i love rocking back and forth in my bed, it was so amazing, and felt so good!
! i always loved imagining things growing up, always loved manifestations, and pure imagination. I remember loving nature, and wanting to get lost in the woods. Climb trees . i had a hard time growing out of diapers as a child ages 5-9 years old. i used to wear them bewcause they felt so snug and comfy. (i greow out of that phase at age 9)
. My parents never knew that fact and i just told everyone on here. i guess i trust you guys

also i was severely neglected and abused in an orphanage, and growing up had some serios issues. At an early age i remember reading
books at the breakfast, lunch, and dinner table. i would play the same song over and over again on the radio because it sounded good, and wanted to replay and replay
it over and over again. also vcrs, and certain sounds and textures were so amazing growing up!!!

i also loveeeeeeee to run i used to run all the time. i was extremely extremly fast and i could run again. i miss running. (maybe i can find a track club for people my age)

I had a extreme fascination with computers at an early age. ( i still do today). I enjoy technology, and computer science today.

i have a history of meltdowns, crying fits, extreme anger, extreme bezerker type rager where i would hit myself or smash my fists into walls or doors.

i tortured and killed animals and used to poke the dog, and hit animals because of my severe severe neglect and who i am today.I am not proud of what i did but thanks to the doctors and psychiatrists i was able to grow into a more productive adult because i was very close to going to the state hospital at 17.

if anyone has heard of Beth Thomas- Child of rage i was pretty much her twin with the issues i had like hers. My memories of what i did to animals is extremely graphic ,and not pretty.

Im happy i accept unconditional love today thanks to my doctors.

its been now 15 years since i was that violent and did anything). 14 suicide attempts, and many many many hospital visits, homelessness.

i haven't tried to kill myself in now 8 years and i celebrated my first-year anniversary with my girlfriend. im in therapy for my issues, and it seems like life is improving drastically for me,.

i just need friends, im lost on another planet........

ps I love animals today, i love parrots, and baby birds.i love computers, marijuana, growing marijuana, i love feeding birds, and rescuing animals. i love computer games, and art galleries. I love to smile more today

Hi Ben, and welcome! It sounds like you were dealt some pretty rough hands in life, and I'm glad to hear that you're overcoming those parts, and it's highly respectable that you've taken the action in getting help, and turning everything around. Life as an Aspie, can at times feel very lonely, but I think you'll find good company, and support here.

 

[wraith]

You tortured and killed animals? It's a long long path back towards redemption after engaging in that kind of thing.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

In terms of running - in many larger communities there are often one or more all-comer groups open to anyone, and there are also some "masters" groups that cater to those aged 35+ or 40+.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome.

 

[Alexej]

Hi and Welcome Ben
Sounds like you have had a tough time

Do hang out here a while and get a sense of this group. Feel free to jump into a conversation when you are ready to