Hi, I'm new! and I have a question about adult diagnosis

[Apollo21]

My name is Steph, and I'd like to tell you a bit about myself! I also have a question which I'll put at the bottom, in case you don't feel like reading a whole ton.

Since I was younger, I was very frequently picked on, bullied, and ostrocized, with no real idea why. I never seemed to fit in. I just didn't understand what it took. And I don't even mean with just the "popular" crowd... I mean with anybody. It was really hard for me to make friends. I've only really ever had one good friend at any given time.

I am a very happy person with myself and have high self esteem. I am a bit of a workaholic, I like professional settings because they have rules to follow. I finished my bachelors two years ago and I'm now in a graduate program to become an Occupational Therapist. I never really thought anything was wrong with me, I always just chalked my lack of social circle up to being "introverted". I'm in a very fulfilling long term relationship with a man who adores me just as I am.

I didn't really even start thinking about Aspbergers until I read about it in one of my graduate classes, and realized, wow. That sounds... a lot like me. The not understanding social cues/sarcasm, the formal way of speech, the clumsiness, the limited spacial awareness, the lack of close friends and the inability to make more, just a lot of things. I had to focus on my studies though, and put off looking more into it until now, with the semester being over and me having a bit of a break.

The more I read, the more I realize, wow. It's like I'm reading articles about myself. I'm very conflicted on what to do. Right now in my studies, I certainly see the value of being able to network and make friends. If it weren't for that, and my inability to participate in social groups, I honestly probably wouldn't care. But, if theres someone out there professionally that can help me with those things, I think it would be beneficial to seek them out. I've always sort of wanted to have close friends, but found it too difficult to get someone from an acquaintance to a friend. I've become pretty used to my isolation, and I suppose it doesn't bother me much anymore. But I wonder if I could be happier if I were able to get some help with these issues.

My question is, if you were diagnosed with Aspergers later in life... what was your experience like? What did you feel? Relief? Anger? I feel relieved to know that maybe my awkwardness isn't just me being weird, and has an actual physiological problem. I'm also scared because all I see about Aspergers is the word dissability attached to it (not my opinion, just what I've read). I don't want to have that label on me. I feel I'm doing fairly well in my life, I'm happy with myself, and being who I am. I'm worried that getting an official diagnosis might stigmatize me.

Should I seek out a professional, and get help with this? Or should I just leave well enough alone? What are your experiences? How did you come to terms with your diagnosis?

Thank you, I appreciate any and all input, and I'm happy to meet all of you (digitally, at least!)

 

[King_Oni]

To answer your question

I felt relief at first, since it did kinda pinpoint my issues to a certain extent. But more and more it's anger since I just notice how services are lacking. That's also my main issue in society nowadays. I don't hate how I am, I do have an issue how it works out among other people.

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard.
I was officially diagnosed at age 33, I had self diagnosed around age 31.
The official diagnosis made me feel flooded with relief and joy! It was as though I had been given the secret to life. To my life. I finally understood completely, why I was so different and struggled so much.
For most of 30 years I thought there was just something broken and wrong with me. Reading the words of fellow autistics online, it was as though they stole my like story and struggles.
I could identify for the first time with a group of people I could fit in with, albeit online.
With the power of the knowledge of my ASD, I could begin to try to help myself and better navigate this world.
Best wishes!

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Horror, anger, relief...sort of the grieving stages, really. It marked the difference between trying ever-harder to succeed at something I simply couldn't do.

Now I'm looking for a niche I can fit in and support myself and my family.

Welcome to AC!

 

[Slothra]

I was frustrated at first, mostly because I somehow felt like it was going to inevitably define who I was. After I settled down I felt a lot better, just having a name to call it made it easier to deal with.

Welcome to AC, nice to meet you!

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

I was diagnosed in the last few months. I had some interesting tests done this past Friday about social skills. They showed me people's faces and eyes and asked how I thought they were feeling. There were other tests and it lasted 4 hours, however, it was based on interactions with people.

I think the diagnosis is the very beginning and that I really need to see a asperger's therapist to work on specific soical skills.

I love working and have no issues with that aspect of life but I do believe I am not a complete person.

Having the diagnosis I think has created a hole because now I just want to fix it. There is no fix and I am afraid that with work I don't have the time to learn the skill to socialize right. Then I think how can I get into a relationship, people today don't want to put effort into others.

So, diagnosis and proper therapy with trained professional.

 

[Tom]

I think a diagnosis is required when you are seeking special acommodations at work, disability, perhaps certain social support programs, etc. Autism is often accompanied by so called co-morbids like anxiety, depression, etc. You can get treatment for these without a autisim diagnosis, including medication. Autism itself has no medication treatment itself that I am aware of.

A lot of people self-diagnose, often quite late in life and learn about the condition and perhaps coping skills, etc, but do not seek a diagnosis as it is not absolutely necessary and they would avoid the negative aspects a diagnosis can bring. Or even just so as not to have to go to the trouble. Just knowing, can be enough.

One word of advice is to keep the information close and only shared with very close and trusted family or friends. Its covered under your Privacy rights and is no ones business but your own. Use that right.

Its ok to talk with other autistics though and may be helpful. If you are very concerned about privacy however, post in such a way as to not be recognizable to someone you know. I have only heard of it happening one time, but a member on a similar forum was outed at work by a nasty co-worker who tracked him down on the site.

 

[HisShadowX]

My name is Steph, and I'd like to tell you a bit about myself! I also have a question which I'll put at the bottom, in case you don't feel like reading a whole ton.

Since I was younger, I was very frequently picked on, bullied, and ostrocized, with no real idea why. I never seemed to fit in. I just didn't understand what it took. And I don't even mean with just the "popular" crowd... I mean with anybody. It was really hard for me to make friends. I've only really ever had one good friend at any given time.

I am a very happy person with myself and have high self esteem. I am a bit of a workaholic, I like professional settings because they have rules to follow. I finished my bachelors two years ago and I'm now in a graduate program to become an Occupational Therapist. I never really thought anything was wrong with me, I always just chalked my lack of social circle up to being "introverted". I'm in a very fulfilling long term relationship with a man who adores me just as I am.

I didn't really even start thinking about Aspbergers until I read about it in one of my graduate classes, and realized, wow. That sounds... a lot like me. The not understanding social cues/sarcasm, the formal way of speech, the clumsiness, the limited spacial awareness, the lack of close friends and the inability to make more, just a lot of things. I had to focus on my studies though, and put off looking more into it until now, with the semester being over and me having a bit of a break.

The more I read, the more I realize, wow. It's like I'm reading articles about myself. I'm very conflicted on what to do. Right now in my studies, I certainly see the value of being able to network and make friends. If it weren't for that, and my inability to participate in social groups, I honestly probably wouldn't care. But, if theres someone out there professionally that can help me with those things, I think it would be beneficial to seek them out. I've always sort of wanted to have close friends, but found it too difficult to get someone from an acquaintance to a friend. I've become pretty used to my isolation, and I suppose it doesn't bother me much anymore. But I wonder if I could be happier if I were able to get some help with these issues.

My question is, if you were diagnosed with Aspergers later in life... what was your experience like? What did you feel? Relief? Anger? I feel relieved to know that maybe my awkwardness isn't just me being weird, and has an actual physiological problem. I'm also scared because all I see about Aspergers is the word dissability attached to it (not my opinion, just what I've read). I don't want to have that label on me. I feel I'm doing fairly well in my life, I'm happy with myself, and being who I am. I'm worried that getting an official diagnosis might stigmatize me.

Should I seek out a professional, and get help with this? Or should I just leave well enough alone? What are your experiences? How did you come to terms with your diagnosis?

Thank you, I appreciate any and all input, and I'm happy to meet all of you (digitally, at least!)

See it all depends on where you live and your type of care. If you live in the United States than I'd recommend getting a diagnosis. A clinical psychologist should be covered by your insurance and you'd pay as much as a copay office visit.

Get it as soon as possible. If your from outside the United States where there is free healthcare I've noticed the trend of people becoming more self diagnosed being that cannot have timely care or it becomes expensive quite fast if you want to find out your situation.

I did it for myself and so I can begin getting the care I need as well as the treatment. Problem with self diagnosis as well is you are not a medically trained professional and I did not want to tell myself I was something and than when I get treatment I find out I was something else entirely.

I've run into those crowds as well.

As an adult in the United States most treatment is denied or delayed to me because of my age and job history where I do not make much at all but most government programs for Adults with Autism look at your income first.

I'm trying to use this diagnosis to my advantage seeing many state jobs will give you preference with your diagnosis

 

[Lealea]

Hi, I'm 25 and I was actually diagnosed with aspergers last week. I always thought I was just abnormally shy as a kid, and up until the age of 20 I didn't really think there was any thing else wrong with me. Then I heard of something called selective mutism.. So I done a little research and that lead me to Aspergers but I didn't really pay much attention I knew in my head that it was a high possibility but I didn't want to accept it. Now I've been diagnosed nothing has changed, I'm hoping to get help with my social problems and now I have a reason for not being able talking to people, I'm not rude and I don't think I'm better than anyone else I just have such a hard time reading social cues and emotional ones. I don't c having aspergers as a disability although I know a lot of people who don't have it do. I c aspies as amazing people who put so much passion into the things they love, and to our family's and close friends we are friendly and kind and do what we can to help, without autistic people the world wouldn't be the same, it is believed that many of the top scientists and astronomers were autistic. Helps me look at it as a super power

 

[StephF]

Hello Steph, my first diagnosis resulted in relief. It told me I wasn't just a failure but instead I am wired differently.

Welcome to AC. There's a lot of nice folk here and lots of discussions. Hope you like it

 

[Aster]

Welcome!

 

[Naturalist]

I was informally diagnosed by two therapists a few years back, and now working on a more formal dx. I can't say I was ever particularly unhappy about the diagnosis, because I could identify with it and I had spent all my life feeling like an outsider that no one could possibly understand. Knowing that others did understand my experiences was an amazing revelation! What was scary to me is, not knowing how my "Aspie" identity will be received by others. (Not that I was particularly well-received before...) Also, many people in my family were very hostile to the idea, and that hurt, because I was so excited to finally find answers that could help me and people who claimed to be supportive essentially said, "Sorry, not buying that excuse." I had to learn that was their problem, not mine. I love myself even more for my Aspergers traits, they make me unique and they give me an edge at work because I work with college students who are often outside the norm, and need an understanding mentor. I have also met lots of other "Aspies" who are the kindest, most thoughtful, interesting people ever!

Best wishes, enjoy your journey of self-discovery!

 

[tree]

Apollo21

 

[Terencby]

A diagnosis allows you to plant a marker and move forward. My experience, anyway, as getting a diagnosis was a huge relief. Also - and this is going to sound perhaps a bit odd - it's one less thing to worry about. The whole should I/shouldn't I get a diagnosis question can be (very) stressful in itself, and we do NOT need more stress.

For better or worse, I think you've reached a stage where it would be hard to put the genie back in the bottle.

 

[malortie]

Apollo21

Welcome to the forums.

 

[Crossbreed]

Welcome to our little corner of the internet.

If you are very concerned about privacy however, post in such a way as to not be recognizable to someone you know. I have only heard of it happening one time, but a member on a similar forum was outed at work by a nasty co-worker who tracked him down on the site.

That is why I use handles for every personal appearance on the internet. (I only use my real name in professional presentations. So many prospective employers will Google you now.)