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Hi! I'm new here and I would like real feedback on my rewriting of the Lords Prayers for Autism

Henry1981

New Member
Hi:

I'm new here and maybe my title is vague. I am not on the autism spectrum, but I am religious and I think part of the problem of prayer is it does not consider people on the autism spectrum.

Now, I'm not advocating a religion. In fact, I hope to do something like this for all religions. But for now my test case is what is called the Lords Prayer which is a part of most Christian religions. That is why I use this as a test case. I think it is also present in Islam.

Here are my questions. For the Moderators, if this is in the wrong place, please forgive me but can you put it in the correct sub-forum?

1) Does the interpretation help you understand the original prayer better?
2) How would you make this prayer better for people with autism to understand?

Thanks

Now, here is my rendition of the prayer for those with autism.

Our Salvation that is in Heaven
Sacred is your name and presence
Our Safety will one day be present as it is now
That is your desire for us
On Earth and in the After Life

Give us safety this day
By having food and water
And forgive us for hurting other people
As we forgive those people who hurt us

Do not let people tempt us into the wrong decisions
But deliver us from Hatred

Amen


Now, here is the original prayer:

Our Father who are in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from Evil

Amen.



Thank you for all your help
 
"Our Safety will one day be present as it is now
That is your desire for us
On Earth and in the After Life"

is not equivalent to:

"Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven"

They don't mean the same thing.

Rather than get involved in editing this thing for you,
I guess I'd just say that I don't think the rewrite
significantly improves understandability. It isn't
an improvement style-wise, either.

There are many adaptations of this prayer.
http://www.orucc.org/wp-content/uploads/Alternative-Lords-prayers.pdf
Modern Lord's Prayer
 

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