Hi, I’m new,

[UNMDesiree]

I have joined the site not as person diagnosed with autism or being on the spectrum, but as a Speech Language Pathologist who has a personal and professional interest. I facilitate a Social Skills Group for young adults with autism. I’m interested in seeing if this would be a beneficial site for them to join. I’m also excited about this site so that I may learn more as a professional working with children and young adults with autism. I’m excited to be here and look forward to sharing and learning.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Making friends is easy. KEEPING friends in long-term relationships is another matter entirely. Over the years, misunderstandings (especially with NTs) tend to accumulate. I find that it is easier to relate to fellow neuro atypicals, so I'm hopeful in that regard.

Welcome to the forum, @UNMDesiree! As someone who discovered at age 51 that I have (undiagnosed) ASD, I find this forum to be very, very, very (x10) beneficial.

 

[Nitro]

 

[tree]

 

[VioletHaze_03]

As a young person who did not receive any help or social counseling, this site was one of the few places where i could get some support and find the answers i needed to make the correct self diagnosis. It's a great place to start, but i'd rather be in a physical group where i could talk to others like myself. As the others said, keeping friends is the hard part. With one initial social episode, it is easy to cover up any struggles. Overtime, it becomes more pronounced and we eventually are perceived as "weird" and get rejected. My experiences with professionals have never been great, most people i work with know very little about how i function, and they really don't make enough effort to understand how to help me. It's nice to see a professional actually reaching out to our community and doing some research. I really hope we can help you with that.

 

[Warmheart]

Welcome here! I’m glad you’ve joined us!

 

[Suzanne]

My husband says: you can easily make friends ( what)? But you have no idea how to KEEP friends and that is true enough.

I think that this might be useful for you to know. Girls are more difficult to diagnose and many find out when they are a lot older. Females are better at hiding and often, do not exhibit the same traits as males.

What makes aspergers so difficult to deal with, is the outside influence ie a lack of appreciation and understanding and trying to help.

 

[kay]

I have trouble making a friend. Generally I am polite-ish, friendly, and people have said I smile a lot. But there is something with the rhythm and timing of conversation and perhaps some of my less than standard responses, lack of eye contact and constant stimming that tends to keep conversations from going far unless I run into a very gregarious type who talks so much my half isn't too important at all. The friends who I have managed to make and keep are all slightly not so conventional themselves. Two I think are at least to close to being considered on the spectrum, the other a bit eccentric though clearly not autistic. Mostly I am a conversation killer unless I can draw pictures to amuse slightly tipsy folks. That tends to go well. It's the rhythm though that always seems the most off for me. And I am odd, even for an aspie. I'm just peculiar, that is a good thing, though not so good for socializing. Welcome to the forum! Glad you decided to try it.

 

[Major Tom]

I have a hard time making friends mainly because it sucks the energy right out of me. (Partially because I live in a foreign country and have to use a different language to communicate). Mainly though, its the noise, and attention required to keep a friend that is difficult. I am a quiet person in real life and it seems to put possible friends off. If I could ever find someone who would speak to me instead of speaking through me, I might be interested, but so far in almost 40 years,almost none have fit the bill.

 

[Progster]

I find it difficult to make close friendships, because I find it hard to keep a conversation going, I'm quiet, don't talk enough and am not interested and don't know about the things that other people like to talk about, and people find me boring and don't want to bother with me. I also can't use body language and facial experessions to interact in the same way as other people do. I aslo can't do this banter and fun all the time that seems to be so necessary to social communication. I get left behind in conversations and don't join in, don't pick up easily on people's emotions, don't think and respond in terms of emotions. I don't connect and bond easily. So most people aren't interested in friendship with me, and it never gets beyond the very superficial - I don't have any deep friendship with anyone except my partner.

 

[Tom]

Hi,
This is a good find. A central theme here is to keep it friendly and safe.