A couple of people in my life have pointed out that they think I have aspergers. While I disagreed at first and found them amusing, I later started to wonder as well. I don't want to get diagnosed because I don't want it to affect my career.
Anyway, I've always had trouble fitting into this world. I can be awkward. My emotional range is limited and habitually under control. To the point of almost believing I'm a half robot. I realized it as a problem one year, when I took a trip every 2 months, and found that my ability to enjoy some amazing times and amazing places was not to its expected potential. My feeling joy was limited. And that's sad. It's not living, you know what I mean. Something is wrong and I feel like accepting the aspergers title is a copout to not having to change. I mean I accept it - I don't care. But I believe it's a group of injuries that can be healed.
Being a overly sensitive child to the environment back then, I could feel everyone's emotion, I could feel how dark the world is beneath everyone's smile and "happy" socializing. So then came this other thing about pondering about life and questioning everything.
What drew me here to this forum was a question which I've posted in a separate thread, suspecting that it maybe our childhood environment that taught us how to suppress our emotion, either by rejection, ridicule, or some form of damage /hurt. I'm talking about adults in the environment, beginning with our parents. (and that we just have to forgive them as part of the healing process). This emotional trait, I think it's a defense mechanism.
Anyway, I've always had trouble fitting into this world. I can be awkward. My emotional range is limited and habitually under control. To the point of almost believing I'm a half robot. I realized it as a problem one year, when I took a trip every 2 months, and found that my ability to enjoy some amazing times and amazing places was not to its expected potential. My feeling joy was limited. And that's sad. It's not living, you know what I mean. Something is wrong and I feel like accepting the aspergers title is a copout to not having to change. I mean I accept it - I don't care. But I believe it's a group of injuries that can be healed.
Being a overly sensitive child to the environment back then, I could feel everyone's emotion, I could feel how dark the world is beneath everyone's smile and "happy" socializing. So then came this other thing about pondering about life and questioning everything.
What drew me here to this forum was a question which I've posted in a separate thread, suspecting that it maybe our childhood environment that taught us how to suppress our emotion, either by rejection, ridicule, or some form of damage /hurt. I'm talking about adults in the environment, beginning with our parents. (and that we just have to forgive them as part of the healing process). This emotional trait, I think it's a defense mechanism.