Hi ... I'm scarlet

[scarletnymph]

Hi. I wanted to introduce myself.

I created an account here a few years ago after I was diagnosed with Adult ASD, but then I just never did anything with it. It was partially because I got distracted by life but also because I wasn't really sure what to say. I'm still not sure ... but I have decided I want to try talking to other people with ASD.

What to say about me?

I go by the name Scarlet Nymph online because I typically have red hair or red in my hair and because I'm a very sexual person.

I am in my mid 30s. I am a web developer currently but I have multiple degrees, including a masters in social work and was a therapist briefly before I realized I just couldn't handle the people. I like programming, it is solitary and orderly. I don't like that I still have to talk to clients or deal with my co-workers, but its not as bad as when I was a therapist.

I have several physical health conditions including migraines, diabetes, and a lung condition. I also have ADHD and PTSD. I had an abusive childhood and that adds its own quirks to my personality.

As a child I couldn't figure out how to be a person ... I didn't know the reason I was having trouble was ASD ... but as a result I am very interested in any field that studies being human ... history, anthropology, sociology, psychology, religion, and philosophy. I am also interested in subjects like body language, language theory, negotiation, conflict resolution, active listening, game theory, systems theory and chaos theory.

I am gender fluid, although I primarily consider myself female. I call my sexual orientation 'homo flexible', meaning I prefer women but I will be with a male under the right circumstances. I am in a committed relationship with another woman, but we are 'open'. I can't do monogamy.

A lot of the places I'm looking for help from other ASD people relate to dealing with issues from my childhood, sexuality issues, dealing with how people treat you after you come out with ASD, and dealing with my co-workers and employer.

I'm happy to help people out when I can, so I hope to also contribute to other peoples posts as time allows. I hope it will be beneficial.

Scarlet

 

[Varzar]

Hi Scarlet!
Welcome (back)!

Lots of interesting topics and people on here, and always nice to have more viewpoints on subjects people discuss!

 

[tree]

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

 

[VernalSole1355]

Welcome!

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, it's good that you came back. Your field of interests look great, I have studied a lot of those areas with interest, too. I m the opposite when it comes to monogamy though, it's all I can do, for sure.

This is a good place to talk about ASD, there are lots of threads you may find relevant.

I hope you enjoy it here and find it useful and supportive.

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome, And we appreciate all views and input.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Welcome Scarlet.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Hello and welcome

 

[Kevin1968]

Welcome

 

[All-Rounder]

Hey there! I'm also poly, although I wouldn't call it an open relationship, I practically don't have to tell anyone what my ties will be, and that is just perfect.

I'm pretty gay too, bisexual to be precise. I go pretty easily with males though, but female experiences are very calming to me.

I am also into psychology, and behaviour, except that is animal behaviour, I love watching documentaries and some animals really have interesting societal structures. For example horses are more wonderful than I could imagine. It's a pity they take away wild ones from the communities and sell them.

Yknow what makes me feel good, when I can't really open up on the forums? Fun topics. There's been an icecream thread around lately, how about that. [even though i can't really eat icecream]

 

[OkRad]

 

[_eri_bellehumeur]

Welcome Scarlet!

I am also gender fluid and very interested in psychology, anthropology and sociology! "Being a person" is something that continues to baffle me, but learning about societal constructs has really helped me feel less strange and be more confident in owning all of the things that make me me.

From what I've experienced, this forum has been extremely welcoming and open to all experiences- hope to see you around these parts again!

 

[scarletnymph]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. Its been a stressful few days as my employer has just started introducing sweeping changes in our operating procedures, and has zero sympathy for any troubles I have adapting due to ASD or ADHD. However, it was very nice to come back here and see all the love. I really appreciate it. It makes me feel a little better.

 

[scarletnymph]

Hey there! I'm also poly, although I wouldn't call it an open relationship, I practically don't have to tell anyone what my ties will be, and that is just perfect.

It is perhaps my own use of language, but my partner understands. We are kind of poly, but I see poly as meaning 'multiple relationships' or literally 'multiple loves', but Open characterizes a relationship that may also include various forms of casual sex. Its hard for me to form or maintain relationships, and easier for me to have casual sex, particularly when we are talking about men.

Yknow what makes me feel good, when I can't really open up on the forums? Fun topics. There's been an icecream thread around lately, how about that. [even though i can't really eat icecream]

Why can't you eat icecream? I can't either. Digestive issues and all that sugar.

 

[Varzar]

It is perhaps my own use of language, but my partner understands. We are kind of poly, but I see poly as meaning 'multiple relationships' or literally 'multiple loves', but Open characterizes a relationship that may also include various forms of casual sex. Its hard for me to form or maintain relationships, and easier for me to have casual sex, particularly when we are talking about men.

If my understanding is correct, poly and openness would characterize two different aspects of the relationship structure.
If someone is poly and open, they could pursue other relationships/loves, developing metas.
If someone is poly and closed, they would have multiple relationships/loves, but individuals in the polycule wouldn't be free to have relationships outside the polycule.

Since what you're describing involves more casual sex as well, it seems more like the parent category of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), which would then include things like swinging, for which no real relationship is developed.

Like the topic of gender identity (recently discussed in another thread), CNM is another area that has a pile of terms to describe the countless relationship structures that people find works for them.

 

[scarletnymph]

If my understanding is correct, poly and openness would characterize two different aspects of the relationship structure.
If someone is poly and open, they could pursue other relationships/loves, developing metas.
If someone is poly and closed, they would have multiple relationships/loves, but individuals in the polycule wouldn't be free to have relationships outside the polycule.

Since what you're describing involves more casual sex as well, it seems more like the parent category of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), which would then include things like swinging, for which no real relationship is developed.

I was not referring to 'poly and open'. I was actually referring to two different types of relationships, or relationship structures, as you called it. One called 'poly' and one called 'open'.

In my first post, I indicated my relationship was 'open'. Rexi said she was also poly, indicating she thought I was as well.

Many people use the term 'poly' to refer to any CNM relationship. Without knowing if that is what she was doing, and not wanting to argue about the definition of poly, I opted to clarify how I define 'poly' myself and how that contrasted with what I call 'open'. Indicating that my relationship is closer to an open relationship than it is to a poly relationship.

An 'open relationship' is a type of CNM relationship that I first heard of in the 1990s, 15 years before I ever heard the terms CNM or poly. It was a fairly popular term at the time and showed up on various tv shows like Friends. I'm not sure it is still in general use on the internet, but it is a term still used in my area.

When someone said they were in an open relationship it basically meant they were in a committed relationship to one person but were allowed to screw around with other people as long as it didn't get serious.

My sister and her friends were very into 'open relationships' and they often had rules like you could have sex with someone other than your partner but you couldn't kiss them or go on dates and things like that. The idea of actually having multiple relationships would have been crazy to them at the time.

It was also somewhat notorious because often people who wanted to cheat on their spouse would tell people they were in an open relationship so the person they were interested in would think it was okay, when it wasn't.

 

[Varzar]

I was not referring to 'poly and open'. I was actually referring to two different types of relationships, or relationship structures, as you called it. One called 'poly' and one called 'open'.

In my first post, I indicated my relationship was 'open'. Rexi said she was also poly, indicating she thought I was as well.

Many people use the term 'poly' to refer to any CNM relationship. Without knowing if that is what she was doing, and not wanting to argue about the definition of poly, I opted to clarify how I define 'poly' myself and how that contrasted with what I call 'open'. Indicating that my relationship is closer to an open relationship than it is to a poly relationship.

An 'open relationship' is a type of CNM relationship that I first heard of in the 1990s, 15 years before I ever heard the terms CNM or poly. It was a fairly popular term at the time and showed up on various tv shows like Friends. I'm not sure it is still in general use on the internet, but it is a term still used in my area.

When someone said they were in an open relationship it basically meant they were in a committed relationship to one person but were allowed to screw around with other people as long as it didn't get serious.

My sister and her friends were very into 'open relationships' and they often had rules like you could have sex with someone other than your partner but you couldn't kiss them or go on dates and things like that. The idea of actually having multiple relationships would have been crazy to them at the time.

It was also somewhat notorious because often people who wanted to cheat on their spouse would tell people they were in an open relationship so the person they were interested in would think it was okay, when it wasn't.

I hope you don't think I was trying to argue with you or correct you on anything.
If anything, I was attempting to agree with you, and add to what you were saying with my own understanding of these relationship structures. Apologies if it came across any other way.

 

[All-Rounder]

It is perhaps my own use of language, but my partner understands. We are kind of poly, but I see poly as meaning 'multiple relationships' or literally 'multiple loves', but Open characterizes a relationship that may also include various forms of casual sex. Its hard for me to form or maintain relationships, and easier for me to have casual sex, particularly when we are talking about men.



Why can't you eat icecream? I can't either. Digestive issues and all that sugar.

Sorry to hear that. I did realize that once it melts is a whole lot sweeter than other products because its foamed up when frozen, but when it melts which is how I eat it when mom buys it, it's sweeter than soda.

Thats because my throat remains sore for a long time, about a month, so thats quite inconvenient and not easy to take care of and bring back. Im not such a big fan of freezer stuff, unless outside are extreme temperatures where its awesome to cool an overheated body without having to go inside stores or pharmacies and awkwardly not buy anything, and it lasts longer too, even after the cone is done. That is, if the money isnt tight.

I'm not sexually committed to anyone, I am emotionally invested in multiple people though. Thats why i cant call it an open relationship, because I have multiple partners that I keep contact with regularly and have feelings for. Open is practically having a main partner [unless the case where it's not]. But when i was saying im poly too, I was probably thinking rather non monogamous. Additionally, I do flirt and play around but I do prefer strings attached, even if its for a short while. My kind of casual encounters involve getting personal. More often than not, I do wanna keep these ties for life unless it's not possible.

People say its tough to have multiple, and I used to think so too, but when you have passion for it and acceptance, its really pleasant. The most difficult is to manage time and pay attention to everyone. And I havent even tried it in real life, I have these ties online. They usually want to visit me in rl, but not at the same time, that wouldnt really work.

 

[All-Rounder]

This guys speech is the only thing that helps me sleep. I wanna loop part of it before the applauds because they always wake me up