Hello people, I'm Valquinn (Matias is my real name -obvious from the e-mail adress- but I like nicknames while online) First thing, I've never consulted a psychologist or a related proffessional, but I think I have Asperger's (at least at some degree -one never knows, every one of us is different-) I've always found myself being different, or at least seeing the world in a manner different of oter people. I've recently read and article concerning the syndrome, and got me thinking. I have some traits that were described as typical of Asperger's but I'm not sure. Either way I'm afraid of consulting a proffessional, because ; aside from weird ways of seeing things (according to other people) I considered myself quite average, and other people in need of a change; not me. Well, so far it is clear I'm not a forumite, I have trouble writing at forums and keeping up with them, but I'd like to share whatever I have to share and receive information too. Before you point out spelling and grammar and other related mistakes, I'd like to inform you that English is not my mother-tongue; it's Spanish (I'm from Argentina, though I'm currently studying English as a second language to be a proffessor -and teach English as a second language-) A little of my "weird ways" then. When I was a child (I'm curretly 22 -soon to be 23-) I used to walk alone in the backyard (not only walk, but run, jump, etc) while imagining and creating fantasy worlds for myself, induced either by movies, cartoons, books (I learned to read at 5) and commonplace experiences. My parents referred to this act as "flying", because I used to jump waiving my arms, but the movements were involuntary while I was deep into "the world". This was awkard in school, where even teachers didn't understand what happened to me, but it was my way of "entertain myself", as other more normal means were boring to me. Even now I use to ponder things while walking (the awkwardness has gone) When I was 3 or 4 years old, my parents thougt that I had hearing problems, because I used to not respond when they say or ask me something, they even take me to a hearing test (consisting of hearing different recorded sounds according to some pictures) They say I had no hearing troubles, only that I used to not pay attention to them. That (along the years) made me think I had attention deficit disorder, but in fact I can focus on things. Then the shynnes thing. Sure, a lot of people will say I can talk a lot and interact quite efficiently. But it seems to me that that's the case only when I know the person, and to my liking; I don't have the social skills I see in every people I meet. In some cases I don't know how to react, or don't "pick up" signs, and I always come across as awkward (aside from the way I look) Which is another point; I have rare tastes (again according to other people -my philosopphy always was to choose what one like, no matter if it is considered mainstream or not-) in music, in movies, and at some point (not now) in even words. I also have trouble expressinf myself, let alone my feelings. There are things that I cannot talk to even my parents (don't know the reason though) and, though I had a girlfriend and sexual relations with a woman, it was by their (the women) bidding, not mine ( I always came across as "slow" - but I think that's because I tend to be over-polite to women, at least those that had an "interest" in me. When I had a girlfriend (we broke up because I didn't really loved her and came across to me as cold, and she seems to have misjudged me, she created an idea of me that was not true) I had trouble expressing myself because when I said "I like you" (I never said "I love you") it feels empty to me, and I dind't really felt the need to tell her that, because I always assumed that was taken for granted. I've also had (and have) what I call "little obsessions". Now is with coins (particularly local 50 cents) I play with them when I read, watch tv or other activities. I even surprised myself hadling thing with a coin in my hand, refusing to drop it. In primary school it was with my feet. I used to make noise with them in a music class, always following the "rhythm" (even is there was no persussion instrument). That I can still do with my hands and fingers (and at some degree with my feet too) I even considered learning to play drums, but lack the patience. In the past it also was proper names. I used to keep lists of proper names found on the videogames I used to play. Well, playing always was and is a hobbie of mine, particularly point & click or what I call "games with a lot of text material". And now also with words (particularly English words) that falls into a certain category, like ending with "ness" or "less" or "ess" or "y" or "i" or having an "h" etc. Though now the lists are only mental, I no longer write silly things. I also considered myself to have strong morals in some matters so it is clear that I will come across as different. Well, I didn't planned this quite long introduction, and I wouldn't like to come across as overbearing, but well, I'd like to get a response and chat and share things. And meet people, that's important. I've always had trouble making friends. Also (if that's not too much to ask) I'd like you to not consider my long first post as ranting, I despise the notion. I always considered that talking and writing was and it will continue to be important.
Farewell and hope to not have troubled you...:smug:
Farewell and hope to not have troubled you...:smug:
