I stared at this page for a good while trying to figure out exactly what to say for my first post on this board.
Hi, I'm Will. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was fairly young, probably five or six, and I am a few months shy of twenty now. I'm a student at a well known culinary school and have spent all of my working life in the kitchen. It's the home I came into as a stranger in a strange world, one of the classic havens for people who don't fit in with the traditional "high school, college, desk job, marriage, house in the suburbs, 2.5 kids" mold. I think it did a lot of good for me as I came of age. As anyone who has ever worked into a kitchen can attest, it is a brutal environment. Hot, loud, and fast paced, with very little sense of predictability. The people are a crass, vulgar crew of misfits. Pushing myself into that world and learning how to live it did me a world of good in learning how to deal with people and life in general. I found the people who I fit in with, for the simple fact none of us fit in anywhere else.
I have a lot of trouble fitting into what is "typically aspergian". Most people, upon meeting me, talking to me for a while, and then finding out I have Aspergers, are shocked. I do a very good job of "being normal". I learned to fake normal social graces throughout high school, aided by the fact that I would typically spend anywhere between sixteen and twenty four hours in a cramped kitchen with between two and four other people that I had to be able to communicate with. Eventually it became natural for me to be able to look people in the eye, shake hands, smile and nod, and even carry on some small talk. Being raised in a family deeply rooted in its southern heritage might have also helped with this. I am normally very good at talking with people and meeting people, so long as I am either in my environment (say a culinary lab at school) or with someone I already know as a buffer. If either of those things are not present, however, I almost shut down completely. My nack for speaking and generally personable personality disappear; I have been known to go a day or more without speaking a word to anyone except myself. I still miss social cues like when a person catches your eye in an attempt to display interest.
Deeper into my contradiction are the physical and emotional sides of Aspergers. Upon introduction a firm handshake and solid look into someones eyes have not been a problem for me for years, they come naturally. I love physical contact of any kind if, and only if, I already know the person and have some sort of interpersonal relationship with them. Otherwise, it bothers me. Not enough that I will completely shy away from it, just enough that it is somewhat obvious it is uncomfortable for me. I have a very high libido. Tying into that, I run a strange gambit with romantic relationships and love. I've had several romantic relationships in my life. Three I would consider "seriously" and three that were nothing more then flings. I spent a year and a half in a relationship with someone I thought I loved, but have come to realize that I really felt very little for her beyond the physical and the fact she filled a void in me where I wanted to be loved and in love, to know what that feeling was. I didn't then, though I did find out soon enough. I feel madly in love with a girl, and though she was not the first girl I had been in a serious relationship with and told I loved, I consider her the first I really meant it to and had a solid understanding of what it meant when I said it. She and I broke up a few months ago and I am currently dealing with that heartbreak, again my first real exposure to the feeling. My emotional response tends to be very strong, I either really feel something or I don't feel it at all, typically the latter.
On a less personal note, I am a big fan of science fiction (Doctor Who, Firefly, Star Wars, etc etc), a notorious foodie, and an occasional writer and (bad) poet.
I do apologize for the length of this introduction, I do tend to ramble on from time to time. If you've reached this far, thank you and it's a pleasure to meet you all!
Hi, I'm Will. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was fairly young, probably five or six, and I am a few months shy of twenty now. I'm a student at a well known culinary school and have spent all of my working life in the kitchen. It's the home I came into as a stranger in a strange world, one of the classic havens for people who don't fit in with the traditional "high school, college, desk job, marriage, house in the suburbs, 2.5 kids" mold. I think it did a lot of good for me as I came of age. As anyone who has ever worked into a kitchen can attest, it is a brutal environment. Hot, loud, and fast paced, with very little sense of predictability. The people are a crass, vulgar crew of misfits. Pushing myself into that world and learning how to live it did me a world of good in learning how to deal with people and life in general. I found the people who I fit in with, for the simple fact none of us fit in anywhere else.
I have a lot of trouble fitting into what is "typically aspergian". Most people, upon meeting me, talking to me for a while, and then finding out I have Aspergers, are shocked. I do a very good job of "being normal". I learned to fake normal social graces throughout high school, aided by the fact that I would typically spend anywhere between sixteen and twenty four hours in a cramped kitchen with between two and four other people that I had to be able to communicate with. Eventually it became natural for me to be able to look people in the eye, shake hands, smile and nod, and even carry on some small talk. Being raised in a family deeply rooted in its southern heritage might have also helped with this. I am normally very good at talking with people and meeting people, so long as I am either in my environment (say a culinary lab at school) or with someone I already know as a buffer. If either of those things are not present, however, I almost shut down completely. My nack for speaking and generally personable personality disappear; I have been known to go a day or more without speaking a word to anyone except myself. I still miss social cues like when a person catches your eye in an attempt to display interest.
Deeper into my contradiction are the physical and emotional sides of Aspergers. Upon introduction a firm handshake and solid look into someones eyes have not been a problem for me for years, they come naturally. I love physical contact of any kind if, and only if, I already know the person and have some sort of interpersonal relationship with them. Otherwise, it bothers me. Not enough that I will completely shy away from it, just enough that it is somewhat obvious it is uncomfortable for me. I have a very high libido. Tying into that, I run a strange gambit with romantic relationships and love. I've had several romantic relationships in my life. Three I would consider "seriously" and three that were nothing more then flings. I spent a year and a half in a relationship with someone I thought I loved, but have come to realize that I really felt very little for her beyond the physical and the fact she filled a void in me where I wanted to be loved and in love, to know what that feeling was. I didn't then, though I did find out soon enough. I feel madly in love with a girl, and though she was not the first girl I had been in a serious relationship with and told I loved, I consider her the first I really meant it to and had a solid understanding of what it meant when I said it. She and I broke up a few months ago and I am currently dealing with that heartbreak, again my first real exposure to the feeling. My emotional response tends to be very strong, I either really feel something or I don't feel it at all, typically the latter.
On a less personal note, I am a big fan of science fiction (Doctor Who, Firefly, Star Wars, etc etc), a notorious foodie, and an occasional writer and (bad) poet.
I do apologize for the length of this introduction, I do tend to ramble on from time to time. If you've reached this far, thank you and it's a pleasure to meet you all!
