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Hi, my name is Jessica! I'm almost 30 and need friends!

babyjessica

babyjessica

New Member
Hi! looking for like minded people to talk to, just recently finally accepting that I'm 100 percent an aspie, for months I've become obsessed with documentaries about women with autism because for the first time I see other women that remind me of me. most people think I'm very weird or different, usually they are entertained or annoyed!

I write and make music for a living and have done well with that, but due to my social issues I've been financially and physically abused and had my money stolen by men who said I "needed there help" (I've had 30 plus grand stolen from me at times, been left homeless while someone else was sleeping in my house etc) unlorturnaly due to loneliness I've let some really negative people in. I'm with someone very sweet now, and we think he may be on the spectrum as well and that's why he and I have such a strong connection. sorry for such a long rant! that's the gist of it.

I'm a very happy musician who doesn't understand money or business and let's everyone be my friend! if anyone would like to chat with me about aspies, or there unique experiences with being on the spectrum and domestic violence I'd love to meet more people like me!
 
I have secondhand experience of domestic violence so I'm interested to talk to a woman who has experienced it firsthand as the person I knew is dead, I don't say welcome as I don't really understand the meaning of it
 
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Streetwise said:
I have secondhand experience of domestic violence so I'm interested to talk to a woman who has experienced it firsthand as the person I knew is dead I don't see well, but I don't really understand the meaning of it
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I'm sorry to hear that, I've done a lot of work and introspection into why I allowed myself to be so severely abused for so long, so I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have about it. TRIGGER WARNING my spine is pretty messed up from c-1 to c-6 (with c-6 being mostly gone) a doctor showed me that if you look at me straight on, my head sits off center from my neck! I also have trouble walking because both of my kneecaps where busted (I already walked pretty awkwardly before but now it hurts!) but yea just to show you the extent it was awful. after support group and therapy I learned I put up with it because of how my family treated me growing up...I just thought it was normal. I think most people who are being abused don't know they have the option to live life without someone trying to control them? also I think I got someone trying to control me confused with someone being interested in me? all I needed was the tiniest bit of compassion and interest and I was head over heels. I was with the person who did this from age 22 to 27 and definitely didn't know anything about what type of love I deserved at 22!
 
Hi Jessica

welcome to af.png
 
Hi Jessica. As women, we tend to be very vulnerable to any kind of abuse and east prey. Even if it's something or someone we don't really want in our life, it's hard to say no. And then there's the familiarity thing, and I think we're especially not comfortable with something we don't find familiar so we tend to seek out the familiar. My guess is that it's even more difficult for someone on the spectrum because, just like routines, we need what we're most comfortable with and that's not always a good thing.

And I can relate to the neck problems. I've had 2 surgeries and still have problems. Do you have problems with trigeminal neuralgia? That's the worst part for me.
 
You seem to have a good attitude for someone who has had such a rough time. I am glad to hear you are with someone caring. Once your mind develops a pattern in how it handles things (in negative fashion - in your case one example is being taken advantage of) it can be hard to reroute it onto a new path. I find it helpful to not make snap decisions and when the thing is of any importance force myself to delay deciding until I have had time to think it thru/sleep on it. It almost sounds like somewhere along the line you didn't pick up on the need for people to have boundries and fences. So go to Home Depot right away and stock up on fence posts and chicken wire. ;)
 
babyjessica said:
I'm sorry to hear that, I've done a lot of work and introspection into why I allowed myself to be so severely abused for so long, so I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have about it. TRIGGER WARNING my spine is pretty messed up from c-1 to c-6 (with c-6 being mostly gone) a doctor showed me that if you look at me straight on, my head sits off center from my neck! I also have trouble walking because both of my kneecaps where busted (I already walked pretty awkwardly before but now it hurts!) but yea just to show you the extent it was awful. after support group and therapy I learned I put up with it because of how my family treated me growing up...I just thought it was normal. I think most people who are being abused don't know they have the option to live life without someone trying to control them? also I think I got someone trying to control me confused with someone being interested in me? all I needed was the tiniest bit of compassion and interest and I was head over heels. I was with the person who did this from age 22 to 27 and definitely didn't know anything about what type of love I deserved at 22!
Click to expand...
babyjessica said:
I'm sorry to hear that, I've done a lot of work and introspection into why I allowed myself to be so severely abused for so long, so I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have about it. TRIGGER WARNING my spine is pretty messed up from c-1 to c-6 (with c-6 being mostly gone) a doctor showed me that if you look at me straight on, my head sits off center from my neck! I also have trouble walking because both of my kneecaps where busted (I already walked pretty awkwardly before but now it hurts!) but yea just to show you the extent it was awful. after support group and therapy I learned I put up with it because of how my family treated me growing up...I just thought it was normal. I think most people who are being abused don't know they have the option to live life without someone trying to control them? also I think I got someone trying to control me confused with someone being interested in me? all I needed was the tiniest bit of compassion and interest and I was head over heels. I was with the person who did this from age 22 to 27 and definitely didn't know anything about what type of love I deserved at 22!
Click to expand...
can you describe the feeling of wanting to stay with him ,the person I knew never told me much about that ,they were also physically damaged .
The bone above the left eye was permanently deformed so that the eyelid drooped ,probably other problems but they never mentioned it , they left the person and then went back ,I think because I'm autistic I could never understand how the family just rejected the persons trauma,attitudes in the 1960s were so cold,as with you the family was dysfunctional.
 
Hey! Im curious what documentaries did you watch?
And I'm gonna be 30 in January!
I also know a bit about being taken advantage of, I didn't know what "gas lighting" was until late in life and it shed light on some bizarre moments in my life.Two Years ago I ended a 10 year friendship with someone whom I realized was kinda a poor friend...
I don't make friends too easy and I'm learning not to "come on strong". But should you need someone to talk to, I'm your gal!
What type of music do you play?
 
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