Hi new member just been officially diagnosed at 38 years old

[raj74]

Hi, my name is raj i'm 38 and i'm from the uk and live in london and I was just officially diagnosed with 'Aspergers Syndrome' on the 5/11/12.

I?ve always struggled through life and known I am different. I?ve been told I?m bright and I am extremely talented in art and design, and managed to get a degree in product design 14 years ago. But since then I have had years of depression suicidal thoughts and attempts, isolation and chronic unemployment (8 years unemployed out of 14). And all my relationships with friends and family are problematic, which has left me with no friends for 6 years and no relationship with half of my family as they think I am useless and selfish.

I went to see 3 counsellors but my last one told me in july that I should see a psychiatrist and to check out Aspergers syndrome. When I done some research and read the symptoms I thought they were talking about me literally. So I went on the 'wrongplanet' on this forum and listed why I felt I had Aspergers and every response seemed to agree (the list is way to long to repeat).

I then decided to get an appointment with a physiatrist through my GP for cognitive behavioural therapy. As I 100% knew I had Aspergers, but did not tell my doctor as I realised it would be hard to diagnose when I am now 38 years old. So when I turned up to my initial assessment just for CBT therapy, I was surprised that during the first 20 minutes of assessing me they said they think I have Aspergers. I was relieved, but played ignorant for a while, so I could see what they thought, I later confessed that I already knew.

I was then referred to a physiatrist who I saw yesterday. He was extremely arrogant and quite rude, but I bit my tongue as I can be very argumentative. But luckily within 3o minutes of my hour assessment he was in no doubt that I have Aspergers and officially diagnosed me. He was very surprised that I had not been diagnosed earlier, as he said I was a text book case for Aspergers.

Although I am relieved to know that the professionals agree with me and I have an official diagnosis. I still went home feeling very lost angry and confused, which i was surprised about as i thought i would have been happy to finally have a diagnosis. As I am not sure what steps I can now take to get some sort of normality to my life and find work and move forwards. I would appreciate if somebody could tell me what kind of therapy helps best (i'm from the UK)? And what they did when they were diagnosed so late in life? As I am now waiting to hear what the next steps are from the hospital, but am worried it will be far too little too late.

 

[Pella]

I haven't tried anything but talk therapy. For me I think what helps best is learning about AS, acceptance, and finding others like you so that you feel less alone and get some validation. Asperger's doesn't have to be a bad thing. We have some challenges that the neuro-typicals don't but there are parts of it that we can learn to embrace. Another thing is encouraging those that you are closest to, to read up on AS. As they learn more about it, and understand what you are dealing with, their support should be helpful. Some people with asperger's don't really find therapy to be helpful. For me it is, because I have depression and PTSD as well, but its more about those, and learning to accept myself for who I am.

 

[Arashi222]

I am glad you came here. Welcome to AC. Its a great place to ask questions and find out what others have gone through. Its a relief and yet hard as an adult that is diagnosied you get this sense of time lost that could have been devoted to learning how you operate and coping better. Hugs welcome!!!!

 

[Kelly]

Hi Raj, welcome to AC I'm from the UK too I was diagnosed earlier this year aged 28 so another late diagnosis here. I haven't been offered any kind of help since my diagnosis, no therapy or support in any way shape or form. Have you tried contacting the national autistic society(Tel; 0808 800 4104)? They could give you a better idea of what is available to you in your area, in my area the only thing available is an asperger meetup group but even that is 20 minutes drive away (and I don't drive). I've found just having the diagnosis has helped, it's helped me understand why I am the way I am and I don't beat myself up about my problems as much anymore.

 

[raj74]

Hi, thanks for all the advice and support it is much appreciated. And thanks 'kelly' for the number they were very helpfull. I'm still a bit lost though as i am waiting for the diagnostic report, but i was told that i have been refered to physcotherapy. Even though my family has always known i had some kind of problem, they are so fed up with my percieved selfish behaviour that they are still unwilling to give me any time to sort myself and get help.

As my family situation is very tough as i have 2 disabled sisters who need care, (1 had a stroke at 30 and the other has MS). The responsibilty over the last 12 years has fallen on my other sister who has always hated and resented me for not being able to help more and just thought i was lazy and selfish. But i love my sisters but i could not look after finances, carers, medication as it was to much for me. But i have told them i have aspergers, and they were not surprised, and explained that i will do more after seeking help but i they have made it clear that it is to little to late.

So i'm not sure what to do but to try and accept myself and move on. But i also cannot drive (Passed my test after 10 years at 33), which would have helped as i could have done the dropping of food etc, but i am a nervous wreck on the road and dangerous so stopped driving. I might try to see if i can join an aspergers group, but i cannot stand needy people so hopefully there like me and want to be left alone.