Hi! Son recently diagnosed with Aspergers.

[stacy80]

Hi everyone! So happy to have found this forum! My 7 year old son was diagnosed this past week with a mild form of Aspergers and moderate ADHD of the inattentive and hyperactive types. We are very new to this all but I'm so thankful to have some answers so we can help him feel more secure about himself. I wasn't real sure about the asperger's diagnosis since my cousin has aspergers and the 2 of them are nothing alike but I also know this is a spectrum syndrome and the more I read the more I am finding my son is definitely an Aspie. My son is a very bright and sociable boy. He just can't handle being in an overly stimulating environment or one that is lacking in high structure. If he finds himself in those situations or if there is a change he wasn't ready for any minor thing that happens can lead to a meltdown. We have been blown off for a couple of years by our pediatrician, a counselor, and a psychologist because he is so bright and so sociable that they pretty much said we needed to parent better. They all thought we were giving in to his "tantrums" but that was totally not the case. Our son knows that throwing a tantrum gets him no where close to what he wanted and would tell you that. We are definitely not perfect but we are consistent (and have tried different techniques) and our other son has never had behavior issues (don't get me wrong he acts up but you know the difference ) so we knew there was more to it. The people in our lives knew there was more going on as well and really encouraged us to keep trying until we found someone that would listen. We finally did and we are so grateful! We are now getting the tools to be the parents we need to be in order to help our son be the best that he can be.

Stacy

 

[IContainMultitudes]

Hi, welcome to Aspies Central.

 

[Rubix]

Hey,
I'm an Aspie, and I'm remembering when I got diagnosed reading your story.
The first thing is don't feel like you're a bad parent. I remember my Mum being upset when she found out, thought it was her fault etc. but it totally isn't. You're a great mother because you're clearly interested in helping him, and that's awesome!
Also, if you're son's anything like me he'll be relieved that he finally has an explanation for being "different" (sorry, I wanted a better word but I can't think of one.. you get the point..)
Hopefully this will make your life and your son's life a lot happier, and you can get everything you and he need
Good luck for the future!
Rubix

 

[orlampagal]

Yeah my son was just diagnosed as well. I was diagnosed 2 months ago. While we share some traits (sensitivity to sounds and textures) we are not really alike. My son misses social cues that are really easy like "hey how are you doing" - and he doesn't know to respond ... mine is that I can't read people and tell if they are being serious and I can't take criticism at all. I start to panic and look for words that seem to swim above me like a cloud. I had a meltdown at work and I found that if someone reaches out to try and calm me - I go nuclear. My son isn't a huggy kissy kid either. He likes other kids, he likes to talk, he likes to play... but he doesn't know HOW to socialize. It's confusing because I see him at the pool playing with water guns with the other kids - but he latches on really quickly to them and their families.

 

[Levitikuz]

Your son is lucky to have such a (seemingly) caring mother...Keep up the good parenting, as your persistence to get his issues addressed will not go in vain, but will now reap the rewards...

And, welcome to the forum. I'm new here as well and have quickly come to the realization that this place is awesomely amazing, lol.

 

[Cyanide Lollipop]

Welcome to the forum. From what you have written you appear to be a great parent - one who is not prepared to give up easily and who will persist because of your gut feeling. Most psychotherapy is intended for NT folks so it doesn't work for AS. It's important to work with someone who is experienced at dealing with ASDs.

 

[Jacki Cucinotta]

Hi Stacy! Welcome to Aspies Central.

You're definitely not a bad parent; I think you're doing a great job trying to use multiple techniques to help your son control his tantrums. Trying to find ways to help a child control his/her tantrums is extremely hard, especially if you are unsure of how to approach them. It just takes persistence and belief in yourself that you are doing you feel is best for your child. I wish you best of luck with everything. Feel free to ask any questions or concerns you might have and we can try to help you as well if you ever need anything.

 

[Ste11aeres]

He just can't handle being in an overly stimulating environment or one that is lacking in high structure. If he finds himself in those situations or if there is a change he wasn't ready for any minor thing that happens can lead to a meltdown. We have been blown off for a couple of years by our pediatrician, a counselor, and a psychologist because he is so bright and so sociable that they pretty much said we needed to parent better. They all thought we were giving in to his "tantrums" but that was totally not the case. Our son knows that throwing a tantrum gets him no where close to what he wanted and would tell you that. We are definitely not perfect but we are consistent (and have tried different techniques) and our other son has never had behavior issues (don't get me wrong he acts up but you know the difference ) so we knew there was more to it. The people in our lives knew there was more going on as well and really encouraged us to keep trying until we found someone that would listen. We finally did and we are so grateful!
Stacy

It's important to distinguish between a tantrum and a meltdown. It sounds like you make that distinction. I wish more people who work with children were sensitive to the difference. Reinventing Mommy: Hear Him