Hi. Suspect I'm on the spectrum.

[Merewen]

Hi. I usually lurk a while before posting somewhere new, but I'm freaking out a bit and don't really have any real-life people to talk about this at the moment.

I'd suspected I was autistic before, but a few days ago I ran across a list of symptoms related specifically to female Aspies and it clicked. After a pretty rough morning today, I'm realizing many of the things I thought were depression before are pretty classic Autism signs.

That's not why I'm freaking out, though. I'm pretty comfortable with the idea, actually. It makes sense and confirms a lot of things.

I'm kind of freaking out, though, because I'm looking around and realizing - I have a husband who spends time decompressing in a dark room, will talk my head off about motorcycles and is more of a hermit than I am. My son (almost 4) barely does any imaginative play, and when he does, is very specific that he's not really a [cat, lion, frog, bulldozer], he's just pretending. My one-year-old recently started hand-flapping a bit. My mom is a lot like I am, and likes to tell me how much I remind her of her mom. My husband's brother and his wife are a lot like us (the wife in particular is scarily like me), and I'd put money down on at least one of their kids being on the spectrum as well.

How do I tell my husband that I think the entire family might be autistic? When I told him I thought I was a couple days ago, he shrugged it off. And do I tell my sister-in-law? Her kids are a bit older than mine. Maybe wait until I get some kind of diagnosis so I don't sound like a total raving lunatic?

Anyway, that's a bit of a book for a first post, so, uh, hi.

 

[tree]

 

[Merewen]

Thank you, Tree!

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome,
Wow. We usually get questions about how you tell someone your suspicions or determine if you are one yourself. But not you and your whole family simultaneously. :O. Anyway, you may be right. It is hereditary (especially if both parents are) so can run in families. But I would say consider yourself just on the doorstep of knowledge and concentrate on your own self determination. Thereby you will learn more to help you consider someone else. Read, do online free self tests, have conversations with other ASD people, read more. Telling someone your suspicions is a tricky thing. With kids you can do medical evals, but with adults (ie spouse) you really want it to be a well informed and planned decision.

 

[Buzzerfly]

There is a difference between autism and not fitting well into the world. No insult. In fact, there should be a growing number of strange NTs who suffer from similar issues as autistics but process them differently. With a different neurology. This is good news.

 

[Ameriblush]

Welcome to the site.☺

 

[Keigan]

Try this “nerdy, shy, and socially inappropriate” a book about Aspergers written by a female with Aspergers.

Leave it for others to read.

Welcome.

 

[Merewen]

Hi & Welcome,
Wow. We usually get questions about how you tell someone your suspicions or determine if you are one yourself. But not you and your whole family simultaneously. :O. Anyway, you may be right. It is hereditary (especially if both parents are) so can run in families. But I would say consider yourself just on the doorstep of knowledge and concentrate on your own self determination. Thereby you will learn more to help you consider someone else. Read, do online free self tests, have conversations with other ASD people, read more. Telling someone your suspicions is a tricky thing. With kids you can do medical evals, but with adults (ie spouse) you really want it to be a well informed and planned decision.

This is good advice. And, as I tend to over-research things, I have already begun this process I'll try to not jump to too many conclusions. Probably I'll read a lot on here too.

 

[Merewen]

There is a difference between autism and not fitting well into the world. No insult. In fact, there should be a growing number of strange NTs who suffer from similar issues as autistics but process them differently. With a different neurology. This is good news.

No insult taken. You are, of course, right, and it is all speculation at this point, though I am feeling pretty sure about me at this point. Concerns about kids, I expect, will be discussed at GP visits, and I'll need to do plenty of my own research.

 

[Merewen]

Welcome to the site.☺

Thank you!

 

[Merewen]

Try this “nerdy, shy, and socially inappropriate” a book about Aspergers written by a female with Aspergers.

Leave it for others to read.

Welcome.

I don't see the book anywhere. What book is it?

The description, though, sounds like just what I'm looking for.

Thanks!

 

[Nitro]

 

[WittyAspie]

Welcome! I hope we see your family on here soon.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Welcome, @Merewen! Try taking the Aspie Quiz. It's not intended to be diagnostic, but it's a good place to start and can offer you some insight. Maybe the entire family can take it on family night!

 

[Accelerator]

Hello and welcome. Such a fluffy~ cat in your profile (either that or it's fat). Yeah, you should probably wait until official diagnosis; doesn't change anything about saying your suspicions though (you've got good reason to suspect it, so I doubt it'll be much of a problem, you just need to explain a bit).

 

[Accelerator]

Breaking the news'll probably need you to have all the evidence for your suspicions laid out, then you go and have it verified together. Judging from his shrugging the idea off, I'd wager that either he's perfectly fine with it ,or maybe he doesn't think it likely (but if the evidence is as obvious as it seems, I think this may be unlikely).

 

[Keigan]

Try this.

https://www.amazon.com/Nerdy-Shy-So...keywords=nerdy+shy+and+socially+inappropriate

 

[Streetwise]

It means shalom in Hebrew,which also means welcome and hello,I'm not Jewish

Hi. I usually lurk a while before posting somewhere new, but I'm freaking out a bit and don't really have any real-life people to talk about this at the moment.

I'd suspected I was autistic before, but a few days ago I ran across a list of symptoms related specifically to female Aspies and it clicked. After a pretty rough morning today, I'm realizing many of the things I thought were depression before are pretty classic Autism signs.

That's not why I'm freaking out, though. I'm pretty comfortable with the idea, actually. It makes sense and confirms a lot of things.

I'm kind of freaking out, though, because I'm looking around and realizing - I have a husband who spends time decompressing in a dark room, will talk my head off about motorcycles and is more of a hermit than I am. My son (almost 4) barely does any imaginative play, and when he does, is very specific that he's not really a [cat, lion, frog, bulldozer], he's just pretending. My one-year-old recently started hand-flapping a bit. My mom is a lot like I am, and likes to tell me how much I remind her of her mom. My husband's brother and his wife are a lot like us (the wife in particular is scarily like me), and I'd put money down on at least one of their kids being on the spectrum as well.

How do I tell my husband that I think the entire family might be autistic? When I told him I thought I was a couple days ago, he shrugged it off. And do I tell my sister-in-law? Her kids are a bit older than mine. Maybe wait until I get some kind of diagnosis so I don't sound like a total raving lunatic?

Anyway, that's a bit of a book for a first post, so, uh, hi.

 

[Merewen]

View attachment 40151

Thank you!

Welcome! I hope we see your family on here soon.

Haha, thanks. My sister-in-law does forums, so it's conceivable she'd join someday. The others... not so much.

Welcome, @Merewen! Try taking the Aspie Quiz. It's not intended to be diagnostic, but it's a good place to start and can offer you some insight. Maybe the entire family can take it on family night!

Thanks! I took it a couple times - once yesterday, once today (after I had a bad day and remembered things like yeah - I do hand flap, and my voice gets weird). Both said I had some neurotypical and some neuroatypical traits. I took a couple other quizzes, whose links I'll have to go search for. One put me in "borderline" range, and the other had me past the threshold of "ought to check this out."

I don't have too many problems with facial expressions and don't notice patterns all that much as far as I can tell, so that's probably where the "neurotypical aspects" are coming from.

Hello and welcome. Such a fluffy~ cat in your profile (either that or it's fat). Yeah, you should probably wait until official diagnosis; doesn't change anything about saying your suspicions though (you've got good reason to suspect it, so I doubt it'll be much of a problem, you just need to explain a bit).

Just a bit fluffy, I think. He fluffs out when he sits. Thanks for the advice! It makes sense.

Breaking the news'll probably need you to have all the evidence for your suspicions laid out, then you go and have it verified together. Judging from his shrugging the idea off, I'd wager that either he's perfectly fine with it ,or maybe he doesn't think it likely (but if the evidence is as obvious as it seems, I think this may be unlikely).

That response from him typically either means "whatever you say, Dear" or "I need to process this." Just a bit ago, I told him I thought some of my "depression" symptoms were really something else, and he nodded knowingly, so I think we're on the same page; at least about me.

Try this.

https://www.amazon.com/Nerdy-Shy-So...keywords=nerdy+shy+and+socially+inappropriate

Ooh, that was the name. Thank you! I'll need to read that for sure. (And time it for Christmas, when my sister-in-law is in town?)

View attachment 40153 It means shalom in Hebrew,which also means welcome and hello,I'm not Jewish

Thank you!

 

[Accelerator]

Thank you!



Haha, thanks. My sister-in-law does forums, so it's conceivable she'd join someday. The others... not so much.



Thanks! I took it a couple times - once yesterday, once today (after I had a bad day and remembered things like yeah - I do hand flap, and my voice gets weird). Both said I had some neurotypical and some neuroatypical traits. I took a couple other quizzes, whose links I'll have to go search for. One put me in "borderline" range, and the other had me past the threshold of "ought to check this out."

I don't have too many problems with facial expressions and don't notice patterns all that much as far as I can tell, so that's probably where the "neurotypical aspects" are coming from.



Just a bit fluffy, I think. He fluffs out when he sits. Thanks for the advice! It makes sense.



That response from him typically either means "whatever you say, Dear" or "I need to process this." Just a bit ago, I told him I thought some of my "depression" symptoms were really something else, and he nodded knowingly, so I think we're on the same page; at least about me.



Ooh, that was the name. Thank you! I'll need to read that for sure. (And time it for Christmas, when my sister-in-law is in town?)


Thank you!

Also, from the sound of how he talks to you I suspect that you as a couple are adorable, and I wish I could have my own family like that (like, I kinda want kids, even at my age)