So I'm a 26 year old male and I think I might have aspergers but have never gotten an official diagnosis.
Anyway to the point, for my entire life I've never quite understood the "rules" to social interactions between people. This has caused me a fair bit of stress, anxiety and depression over my short life. Most recently a big blow up with my romantic partner who has been complaining about my not being "affectionate" enough and that she constantly has to repeat what she says several times before I finally understand what's going on.
I've recently started to notice this and other trends when trying to interact with other people. I'm often told that I monologue too much and rant on topics that other people are completely disinterested in, but I never knew that I was going on too long. I have obsessive tenancies, a big one related to time and being on time. Breaking from any sort of routine is extremely difficult and new "good" habits (as my family and partner would call them) are nigh impossible to cement despite the effort put through.
I think the biggest thing that hit me recently was when I went with my partner to a boardgame meetup and we played a game called "Clusterf***" which is a game of flirting. I was the only person at the 20 person table who could not seem to even grasp even the most non subtle signals and resulted in me becoming very anxious.
These recent experiences have caused me to reflect upon my life thus far and what I've found was constant difficulty. Difficulty in making and maintaining friendly, familial and romantic relationships to the point where I was almost totally ostracized by the communities that I was a part of. I don't understand ribbing and I tend to feel attacked in the moment realizing much later that there was no attack on me and it was just joking around instead.
Hours of research on scholarly articles about Aspergers it seemed to point to only one thing, it's what's been affecting me my whole life making me miserable because I did and still have great difficulty in taking part in any sort of social activity.
So here's where I am, living with a failing romantic partnership stuck without friends or a support group or any kind of help. Official diagnosis seems to be out of the question considering that I don't have any health insurance and cannot afford to get it. I really just want to get my life on track for what would seem to be the first time. So does anyone know what I can do to get started with fixing my life (if it helps I live in the Portland Oregon metro area)
Anyway to the point, for my entire life I've never quite understood the "rules" to social interactions between people. This has caused me a fair bit of stress, anxiety and depression over my short life. Most recently a big blow up with my romantic partner who has been complaining about my not being "affectionate" enough and that she constantly has to repeat what she says several times before I finally understand what's going on.
I've recently started to notice this and other trends when trying to interact with other people. I'm often told that I monologue too much and rant on topics that other people are completely disinterested in, but I never knew that I was going on too long. I have obsessive tenancies, a big one related to time and being on time. Breaking from any sort of routine is extremely difficult and new "good" habits (as my family and partner would call them) are nigh impossible to cement despite the effort put through.
I think the biggest thing that hit me recently was when I went with my partner to a boardgame meetup and we played a game called "Clusterf***" which is a game of flirting. I was the only person at the 20 person table who could not seem to even grasp even the most non subtle signals and resulted in me becoming very anxious.
These recent experiences have caused me to reflect upon my life thus far and what I've found was constant difficulty. Difficulty in making and maintaining friendly, familial and romantic relationships to the point where I was almost totally ostracized by the communities that I was a part of. I don't understand ribbing and I tend to feel attacked in the moment realizing much later that there was no attack on me and it was just joking around instead.
Hours of research on scholarly articles about Aspergers it seemed to point to only one thing, it's what's been affecting me my whole life making me miserable because I did and still have great difficulty in taking part in any sort of social activity.
So here's where I am, living with a failing romantic partnership stuck without friends or a support group or any kind of help. Official diagnosis seems to be out of the question considering that I don't have any health insurance and cannot afford to get it. I really just want to get my life on track for what would seem to be the first time. So does anyone know what I can do to get started with fixing my life (if it helps I live in the Portland Oregon metro area)
