Normie999
Active Member
I don't have Asperger's, and am not autistic, but I have people in my life who are. I had "lurked" on this site a while back, and today I got an email from this Forum, so I decided to come back on and sign up for the discussions.
My main reason for originally checking out this site was, probably like for many other "normies", to try to understand the Aspie people in my life. "Not taking things personally" has sometimes been very hard for me, especially since the Aspies have been in my life for a number of years, so we have history together. This makes it harder to stay objective when their Aspie quirks get in the way of what I consider comfortable relating.
On the other hand, I'm quite quirky myself in a lot of ways, so I appreciate the "differentness" that many Aspies exhibit. It gives me the latitude to not have to fit into any molds myself.
On a more emotional level, though, I am not a "distant" person once I know someone; the lack of both the continuity and the gradual closeness that people usually experience over a period of years are the biggest problem areas I have with the Aspies in my life. I sometimes feel with the Aspies that we are just "beginning" to know each other, although there would have already been a close familiarity with others who are not Aspies given the same longevity of acquaintanceship, time-wise.
It is a cold, alienating feeling, that feels like a rejection of me personally. I am also someone who places high value on bonding, closeness, personal attention and attentiveness to others, so, some of the "typical" characteristics of autistic behavior are the antithesis of what I would seek in my relationships.
Since the people in my life are not ones I can easily walk away from, for a number of reasons, I am left with trying to intellectually develop an objective view of Aspergers and autism. Over the past few years, I have learned a lot through research, so I understand some of the basic clinical descriptions of these conditions. I just thought that it would help me emotionally to connect with people, like yourselves, who are willing to put yourselves "out there" to the world.
Thanks, and see you soon!
My main reason for originally checking out this site was, probably like for many other "normies", to try to understand the Aspie people in my life. "Not taking things personally" has sometimes been very hard for me, especially since the Aspies have been in my life for a number of years, so we have history together. This makes it harder to stay objective when their Aspie quirks get in the way of what I consider comfortable relating.
On the other hand, I'm quite quirky myself in a lot of ways, so I appreciate the "differentness" that many Aspies exhibit. It gives me the latitude to not have to fit into any molds myself.
On a more emotional level, though, I am not a "distant" person once I know someone; the lack of both the continuity and the gradual closeness that people usually experience over a period of years are the biggest problem areas I have with the Aspies in my life. I sometimes feel with the Aspies that we are just "beginning" to know each other, although there would have already been a close familiarity with others who are not Aspies given the same longevity of acquaintanceship, time-wise.
It is a cold, alienating feeling, that feels like a rejection of me personally. I am also someone who places high value on bonding, closeness, personal attention and attentiveness to others, so, some of the "typical" characteristics of autistic behavior are the antithesis of what I would seek in my relationships.
Since the people in my life are not ones I can easily walk away from, for a number of reasons, I am left with trying to intellectually develop an objective view of Aspergers and autism. Over the past few years, I have learned a lot through research, so I understand some of the basic clinical descriptions of these conditions. I just thought that it would help me emotionally to connect with people, like yourselves, who are willing to put yourselves "out there" to the world.
Thanks, and see you soon!
