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HI there!

Glitters

Glitters

Active Member
Hi community!

I've been with my Aspie boyfriend for almost two months, He told me very early on about his "condition" and it made him a little distressed and anxious when he told me, but it answered a lot of my unspoken questions, and the news didn't change at all how I feel about him. :) I'm still completely, and utterly smitten by him. I'm just here to share my experiences, and to gain knowledge on what to expect for a possibly bright future ahead with him.

So far I've noticed he has trouble looking me in the eye, which at first I was very confused about, (they're very peculiar, and pretty). I was glad to learn there was a reason for it, I feared I was coming off as intimidating or rude. He's also very socially awkward, which I find very cute. I think the only issue I have is coming to terms with him not talking to me a lot during the day. There will be days where we might only talk briefly, or not at all.. Any advice on methods to cope or a possible way to bring it up to him?

Thanks much!
-Glitters
PS. I surprised him with that kiss. :)
10414877_332202326933659_4101685198680397626_n.jpg
 
Glitters said:
Hi community!

I've been with my Aspie boyfriend for almost two months, He told me very early on about his "condition" and it made him a little distressed and anxious when he told me, but it answered a lot of my unspoken questions, and the news didn't change at all how I feel about him. :) I'm still completely, and utterly smitten by him. I'm just here to share my experiences, and to gain knowledge on what to expect for a possibly bright future ahead with him.

So far I've noticed he has trouble looking me in the eye, which at first I was very confused about, (they're very peculiar, and pretty). I was glad to learn there was a reason for it, I feared I was coming off as intimidating or rude. He's also very socially awkward, which I find very cute. I think the only issue I have is coming to terms with him not talking to me a lot during the day. There will be days where we might only talk briefly, or not at all.. Any advice on methods to cope or a possible way to bring it up to him?

Thanks much!
-Glitters
PS. I surprised him with that kiss. :)
View attachment 12023
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just be straight with him and say "id like to chat, I'm bored"... he's probably not aware that he's doing anything wrong, sometimes we need things spelling out. Speaking for myself as an as pie i am very honest and appreciate straight talk. Eye contact feels uncomfortably intense for some As sufferers . Sometimes we can appear rude without meaning to. The fact that you have joined this shows how much you care. Good luck to you and welcome.
 
I've tried something similar, and he tried to be vague and brought up (rather bluntly) the issue of clingy girlfriends. So I've tried to just give him a little distance, and let him speak first.

Anyways, Thank you! I'm glad I stumbled upon this website. :)
 
Welcome to the world of the aspie :)

I hope you find us friendly and helpful here

Feel free to ask most anything you seek
 
Welcome, you have come to a good place for advice.
You may try finding something he is interested in and starting a conversation about that. Most of us have keen or narrow interests and love to share them.
 
Welcome :)

Yes, as others have mentioned, initiate the conversation. We can sometimes be guilty of expecting others to approach us, and initiate talk.

I'm sure many Aspies will agree that honesty in a relationship is very much appreciated, as many of us may not always be aware we've done anything to upset other people at all at times. It's important to also talk about all those awkward, or confusing, instances you may encounter from time to time, as honesty about those things in the relationship will keep it strong. There's nothing worse than misunderstandings, or feeling a person may not care, when really they are simply unaware you may be feeling down at all (we aren't always able to pick up on the subtle hinting, so be clear). Clearing the air ensures no bad blood builds up.
 
Presumably he doesn't talk very much to other people either. As a result of not having much practice with conversation, he might find himself genuinely unable to think of things to say. This might make conversation uncomfortable for him.
In any case, don't take it personally.
There's no solution offered in what I've written, simply a possible explanation.
 
Ste11aeres said:
Presumably he doesn't talk very much to other people either. As a result of not having much practice with conversation, he might find himself genuinely unable to think of things to say. This might make conversation uncomfortable for him.
In any case, don't take it personally.
There's no solution offered in what I've written, simply a possible explanation.
Click to expand...

I never thought of it that way! I bet you're right! Thank you :D
 
Welcome Glitters, you will find lots of interesting information here. And remember, even though us Aspies share similar traits, we are still in many respects unique individuals, like everyone else, so happy discovery :)
 
Talk about something he loves or seems very interested in, usually I find with when someone does that with me, I basically don't shut up. Or ask him to show you something he's good at that u don't get xx
 
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