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Hi what do you do after you get your diagnosis

K

Kamille

New Member
Hi I'm Kamille, I'm from the UK, I got my diagnosis a couple of days ago although I discovered I'm autistic in June of this year. It was a shock, I'm 50 and up until now just thought I was a bit "quirky" with mood swings every now and then. I was actually ok until 2 weeks ago but then I fell apart and haven't been able to do much since then. My brain only wants to work at night when I'd actually like to sleep. I'm trying to find a therapist as I need a figuring out what happens next.
 
Hi Kamille. Did you only just find out that you are autistic, or had you suspected it for some time? It's a lot to take in and process, but it should help both you and those close to you understand you a lot better, and bring closure for past difficult experiences.

I was diagnosed at the age of 41 (I'm now 52) after a severe burnout, also in the UK, and although there wasn't a lot of practical help they could offer me, it helped me come to terms with the problems I was having in my relationships with people and employment. I was able not to be so hard on myself.
 
welcome to af.png
 
I took mine pretty hard at 26-ish, but I recommend embracing it if you can. Finding a therapist (or any professional, really) to help guide you through the paradigm shift is also a very good idea.
 
Kamille said:
Hi I'm Kamille, I'm from the UK, I got my diagnosis a couple of days ago although I discovered I'm autistic in June of this year. It was a shock, I'm 50 and up until now just thought I was a bit "quirky" with mood swings every now and then. I was actually ok until 2 weeks ago but then I fell apart and haven't been able to do much since then. My brain only wants to work at night when I'd actually like to sleep. I'm trying to find a therapist as I need a figuring out what happens next.
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In my case, I am self-diagnosed. It was a revelation; a relief and answer to all the difficulties of my life.

My recommendation is to understand that nothing has changed. You are still you. You are still that same "quirky" person you ever was. The discovery that there is a name or label for your "quirkiness" doesn't change who you are. It just give you a new source of knowledge to learn more about who you are. It's a very good thing.
 
Progster said:
Hi Kamille. Did you only just find out that you are autistic, or had you suspected it for some time? It's a lot to take in and process, but it should help both you and those close to you understand you a lot better, and bring closure for past difficult experiences.

I was diagnosed at the age of 41 (I'm now 52) after a severe burnout, also in the UK, and although there wasn't a lot of practical help they could offer me, it helped me come to terms with the problems I was having in my relationships with people and employment. I was able not to be so hard on myself.
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I found out in June this year. I had no idea before then. I read about a woman who had a late diagnosis and I thought this is me. I sort of ticked all the boxes and just knew. I suddenly understood so much about things that I hadn't been able to comprehend before, like being in a dark room and having someone switch on the light. How long did you burnout last for?
 
Ken said:
In my case, I am self-diagnosed. It was a revelation; a relief and answer to all the difficulties of my life.

My recommendation is to understand that nothing has changed. You are still you. You are still that same "quirky" person you ever was. The discovery that there is a name or label for your "quirkiness" doesn't change who you are. It just give you a new source of knowledge to learn more about who you are. It's a very good thing.
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Thank you ). I'd like to feel that but I've been told that I've been masking heavily so I'm confused and so curious now to understand what is actually me and what is part of my mask.
 
Welcome Kamille! I can relate to your question of what is me and what is your mask. I was diagnosed this year and am still trying to figure that out. Thanks for sharing.
 
Kamille said:
I'm trying to find a therapist as I need a figuring out what happens next.
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Hi and welcome Kamille. There's a lot of us diagnosed later in life, to some of us it's a shock but to most of us it's a relief. Finally an explanation that actually helps us make sense of our lives.

As for where you go next, nothing has really changed. But now you'll be able to learn more about yourself and hopefully better understand yourself and make your life a little easier to cope with.

As for the masking, I don't think that's so important that you need to fret about it. All people do it to some extent, neurotypicals as well. Who we are at work is different to who we are at home and that's different again to who we are when we're out with friends.
 
Kamille said:
I found out in June this year. I had no idea before then. I read about a woman who had a late diagnosis and I thought this is me. I sort of ticked all the boxes and just knew. I suddenly understood so much about things that I hadn't been able to comprehend before, like being in a dark room and having someone switch on the light. How long did you burnout last for?
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Difficult to say. I had a gradual improvement and went on medication, which helped. Things improved gradually. I took things easier and didn't try to do too much. I'm not back to where I was before the burnout, but I made some changes in my life and things are better. That's one area the diagnosis helped in - accepting that there are limits to what I can do, and not being so hard on myself when I can't do things or when things go wrong.
 
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You are still you and that has not changed. You just found out one of the reasons why you are you. Or atleast some of the things that make you who you are.
I am not officially diagnosed and the only reason I see for it for myself is so that I can tell other people that I am. Like others above me the explenation of being autistic is just what clicks the most. For me there is still some debate between being an introverted person with ADD, since I seem to score high on those tests. Or ASD1. I score very low on ADHD tests, and certain social shortcomings don`t seem to completely click with ADD.
I always tried to figure out why certains things (mostly socially based) were so hard for me compared to others and I blamed certain things from my past. Having looked into autism (because my father got diagnosed and I suspect my son to be on the spectrum) a lot just clicked. Couple of popular selftests later and I had found something that could explain a lot about me.
It might not be the same story as yours. But I think to use the diagnosis as a way to understand your quirckiness is a very good start.
 
The burn out stuffs are horrible.

The diagnosis, though, allowed me to come to grips with myself as I really am, rather than trying to be a thing I could not be.

THAT was a good feeling. It also allowed me to open some mental doors I was afraid to unlock previously.

As Tom says, have fun with it. You can stop feeling bad about your own nature now. That nature needs a hug.
 
As others have suggested, for most of us that are older adults, the diagnosis (often of the ASD-1/Asperger's/so-called "high-functioning" variants) is primarily for you, and you alone. Sometimes it helps to look back at your life and put things into proper perspective. You weren't a "failed neurotypical", but rather someone with a previously undiagnosed autism condition. For many of us, it is a relief, a weight of guilt and misunderstanding lifted off of us.

Now, the next step is taking that "deep dive" into "all things autism" in order to learn about all the aspects, genetically, physiologically, anatomically, immunologically, psychologically, etc., etc. If nothing else, you educate yourself, but beyond that, you have a better understanding of yourself, you become more self-aware, you have a different perspective and context regarding yourself and others, etc. You should allow yourself some "grace", some "humility", and when appropriate, you can have a sense of humor about yourself and laugh at yourself sometimes. Just because you have a "condition", it doesn't mean that jokes are off limits. You can roll your eyes at yourself, call yourself out on your own BS, shake your head in disbelief, and have some fun with it. It's all about your attitude and how you deal with your daily life. With this new knowledge, there ARE things you can change about yourself, but do recognize that there ARE things we cannot change, so don't allow yourself to become distressed about it. "You can't run certain software if you don't have the hardware." Adapt and overcome. Find a different way to accomplish the same things in life and in your professional career.
 
I'm also in the UK. Diagnosed 9 months ago at age 50. I was suffering from burnout. Thought it was depression. Went to get help for that and found out I was autistic. Surprise! Although it made perfect sense afterwards. Steep learning curve as @Neonatal RRT says. Lots of self-reflection. Masking, I've spent a fair bit of time working through that. I have slowly started to understand what my masking is and what I'm like when I don't mask. I haven't posted about it yet as I'm still figuring out how to explain it, but I will at some point. A lot of it rested on a greater understanding of my social anxiety. As @Outdated says, the masking thing is not probably something to worry about. Understanding my anxiety turned out to be more important than masking, although they are linked, for me anyway.

I guess I'd say don't pressure yourself. Understanding will come.

This forum has been a big help.
 
Welcome!

For me, the post-diagnosis journey started with, and continues with learning about the stories of others, as they help me make sense of my own, and what may lie ahead.
 
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