ErinH
Active Member
Hi,
I'm new on here. I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's yet, but I (and many people around me) feel that I do have this.
Has anybody else had a lot of problems with friendships? I have never been able to keep close friends, and have frequently had meltdowns leading to the friend just not wanting to speak to me anymore. The most recent one was a friend of about seven years. We were best friends and were always there for each other. I thought I had finally found someone to be my friend, and we had never had an argument or anything. But I have always found life overwhelming, and made some pretty radical life decisions in the past couple of years, including briefly moving to Germany then moving back in an emotional emergency situation (with my fiancé). I asked my friend if me and him could move back in with her and she said no. I just had a meltdown.
My family have never been there for me and I could never rely on them. My mum has always been very upset and angry at my always depending on people throughout my life and never being able to take charge of my own life because of the constant meltdowns (which we now realise was because I have been living with Asperger's the whole time), so when it came to my fiancé and I being homeless back in Britain, she wouldn't put us up in her spare room as she felt this would be "enabling" me because I need to learn how to be independent. So when my best friend said no as well I was at rock bottom. I was suicidal. I did have a meltdown and accused her of not caring or acting like a best friend. Since then she no longer wants to be my friend. It was our first argument of sorts, and she just gave up on us. I thought we would work out the friendship eventually but she wasn't interested and said things can never be the same. This was almost two years ago. I still feel triggered by it.
My fiancé is a rock to me, he is the only person who I can rely on in my life. I don't know how to stop feeling the pain of the loss of the friendship. And it's not just her, I have had other friends at university who now no longer speak to me, I don't even know what happened. I have to unfollow them all on Facebook as the mere sight of them on my feed triggers me into a meltdown.
Sorry for the negativity. I just don't know how to keep friends being the way I am. I feel lonely sometimes. Sometimes all I want is to be alone, though. But like I said, my fiancé is a rock, I would almost certainly not be here if it weren't for him. I have gained a lot of control of my life now, but it has still been very overwhelming, and my fiancé depended on me for a long time for everything, it was too much for me. He has a job now though.
I'm new on here. I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's yet, but I (and many people around me) feel that I do have this.
Has anybody else had a lot of problems with friendships? I have never been able to keep close friends, and have frequently had meltdowns leading to the friend just not wanting to speak to me anymore. The most recent one was a friend of about seven years. We were best friends and were always there for each other. I thought I had finally found someone to be my friend, and we had never had an argument or anything. But I have always found life overwhelming, and made some pretty radical life decisions in the past couple of years, including briefly moving to Germany then moving back in an emotional emergency situation (with my fiancé). I asked my friend if me and him could move back in with her and she said no. I just had a meltdown.
My family have never been there for me and I could never rely on them. My mum has always been very upset and angry at my always depending on people throughout my life and never being able to take charge of my own life because of the constant meltdowns (which we now realise was because I have been living with Asperger's the whole time), so when it came to my fiancé and I being homeless back in Britain, she wouldn't put us up in her spare room as she felt this would be "enabling" me because I need to learn how to be independent. So when my best friend said no as well I was at rock bottom. I was suicidal. I did have a meltdown and accused her of not caring or acting like a best friend. Since then she no longer wants to be my friend. It was our first argument of sorts, and she just gave up on us. I thought we would work out the friendship eventually but she wasn't interested and said things can never be the same. This was almost two years ago. I still feel triggered by it.
My fiancé is a rock to me, he is the only person who I can rely on in my life. I don't know how to stop feeling the pain of the loss of the friendship. And it's not just her, I have had other friends at university who now no longer speak to me, I don't even know what happened. I have to unfollow them all on Facebook as the mere sight of them on my feed triggers me into a meltdown.
Sorry for the negativity. I just don't know how to keep friends being the way I am. I feel lonely sometimes. Sometimes all I want is to be alone, though. But like I said, my fiancé is a rock, I would almost certainly not be here if it weren't for him. I have gained a lot of control of my life now, but it has still been very overwhelming, and my fiancé depended on me for a long time for everything, it was too much for me. He has a job now though.