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Hi

T

tridianprime

Well-Known Member
Hi, I'm an aspie who is obsessed with mathematics, computer science, physics and reptiles. Due to my previous experiences, I have managed to build up a barrier in a way and have great trouble trusting people or getting on with them. This is why I have joined this forum as it suits me better than 'sociopath world' where all we do is troll. Another interesting thing about me is that I am learning mentalism, not the mystical type but genuine manipulation through suggestion, as it helps me understand people better.
 
Welcome to Aspiescentral! There are a lot of wonderful people here and I'm very glad you found us.
 
Welcome :D

Mentalist hey? Do tell? Is that similar to hypnotism?
 
Yes, but not the mystical garbage. This is techniques such as cold reading and subtly making suggestion that go into peoples subconscious and can affect their decisions. The reason i started was my observation ability which is vital so basically i do what sherlock does in the BBC series. Over the years, i have learnt to detect things about a person extremely quickly i.e. within seconds such as how when i meet someone i suss out their self image, values, mannerisms, social ability, some hobbies, family life, upbringing and sometimes even their interests or their pastimes. It doesn't start like that but with practise it can surprise myself sometimes and i have had a lot if practise. I think aspies can be good at it due to emotional detachment and lack of bias when meeting people.

I am currently working on what to do with this information.
 
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tridianprime said:
Yes, but not the mystical garbage. This is techniques such as cold reading and subtly making suggestion that go into peoples subconscious and can affect their decisions. The reason i started was my observation ability which is vital so basically i do what sherlock does in the BBC series. Over the years, i have learnt to detect things about a person extremely quickly i.e. within seconds such as how when i meet someone i suss out their self image, values, mannerisms, social ability, some hobbies, family life, upbringing and sometimes even their interests or their pastimes. It doesn't start like that but with practise it can surprise myself sometimes and i have had a lot if practise. I think aspies can be good at it due to emotional detachment and lack of bias when meeting people.

I am currently working on what to do with this information.
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I must say, I find you very interesting :)

I too have an interest in this sort of practice, though have never had a label for what I do to identify it. It has helped me to understand others, and function at a level that most people consider me normal, though a little quirky, haha. I'd love to learn more about your findings if you would indulge me.
 
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For one, people who are supposedly altruistic are often those who get a larger thrill off compliments as they feel they truly deserve them. As any evolutionist knows, there is no true selflessness.

I can also never tell if people are angry or sad so i instead throw out a couple of questions that tell a lot but don't implicate me such as "do you really think this was wrong?" or "let me help, you feel etc." and then if they show signs of inflated nostrils or reddening of the face or clenching jaw then i am wrong.

When you meet someone, check for their posture as an upright posture suggests higher self esteem and confidence. Their values can be judged loosely by basic hygiene to see if they value socialisation or their appearance or see if they have a favourite topic of interest.

You can exert confidence and be charm by using elaborate hand gestures with elongated fingers, solid eye contact, which i really had to work on for years, and practise to right smile which i had to research. That and some basic hygiene are very attractive to most women. Do you agree, as a woman?

Sometimes, the opposite sex or friend is would-be selfless caring person so a bit of humbleness and the aspie awkwardness helps here. In truth, its not something you can just instruct but you have to learn to notice things like trimmed nails, eye sagging, worn clothes, feet position i.e. inward feet is a sign of attraction or respect from women whereas outwards suggests an attempt at dominance which most people attempting to court will not do out of fear of repelling the other.

It can be interesting knowing somebody better than they know themselves. Learning somebodies triggers and inspirers through hints in conversation can help you make them feel emotions if you being it up so may lead them to change their mind or doubt their belief.

If you want some advice or tips or techniques them feel free to message me as i have lots to share and i am well aware of how hard deduction of social hints can be for aspies because it has taken me years and i am still awkward and scare people off.
 
tridianprime said:
You can exert confidence and be charm by using elaborate hand gestures with elongated fingers, solid eye contact, which i really had to work on for years, and practise to right smile which i had to research. That and some basic hygiene are very attractive to most women. Do you agree, as a woman?
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As a woman I don't know about the hand gestures or eye contact, and guys smiling creep me out.

However, hygiene? Yes. I would say that hygiene is the #1 thing that determines whether I can feel attracted to a guy.
(Obviously it's not the only thing, but it is definitely indispensable.)

Dressing nice helps too, and, in my mind, is related to/similar to hygiene.


tridianprime said:
It can be interesting knowing somebody better than they know themselves.
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I disbelieve that this is actually possible. Maybe it's easy to think you know somebody better than they know themselves.

tridianprime said:
I am looking to use it to attempt to seduce woman
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Remain a gentleman, please, who respects women and wants what is truly best for them. (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are one.)
 
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Haha, very true. I myself love to help others, but am also admittedly very self obsessed, and love talking about myself, and my own interests, should others be willing to entertain me needs.

I would have to agree with much of what you have learned; I myself practice, and notice many of theses traits too. I do agree that those characteristics you mentioned will attract women, though if a woman were to do the same, she could attract men just the same. In saying that, I also understand that men usually are required to work harder, when trying to attract the opposite sex, and understand that for some women, simply being in the room is all they require.

When it comes to trying to distinguish the difference between anger and sadness, I feel there is little difference, and that both can be present at the same time. In fact, the only differences I have noticed, would be more reliant on the personality of the person. I myself have used this logic to turn my own sadness in to anger. My reasoning for this is that sadness causes us to pull away from the world, and hide ourselves; possibly even cause self-loathing. Anger can act as a fuel for us to power on. It can quickly turn in to passion, and gives us fight to see things through. It has helped me to keep on track with my goals. Of course everyone reacts different to anger, and this is simply how I deal with it. In saying that, I am not easily angered, and only resort to anger on very special occasions, haha. You'll find that, though on the larger part, while I prefer to remain realistic, and not allow myself to become deluded, I tend to take a more optimistic approach to life, as a personal preference. Many often underestimate my intelligence because of this, but I am not worried of the opinions of others, and enjoy watching their expressions as I pleasantly surprise them.

It's nice to meet another on here with a similar interest to mine. I find there are very few who are able to indulge me with this topic :D
 
Brilliant, the whole anger/sadness idea is what i used to get out of depression. I completely agree. I turned it into a productive thing.
 
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Very true. I do believe that, while an individual is the only one who can look in to themselves and feel who they are, many don't know how to identify their own feelings, or simply ignore them. Many don't see these feelings, until you've identified them. I've met many women, especially mothers, who are self-sacrificing individuals, who always put others in front of themselves. Many simply see these people as saints, looking for nothing in return. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate these people, as I understand their turmoil, and really do appreciate their help. I find, most of the time, they behave this way because they have made it their mission to help others, as it gives them purpose. When they are left to their own devices, and have no longer have responsibilities for others, they are lost, and feel redundant. As a result, many go out of their way, searching for other people to help, as they don't know how to look out for their own needs, and so are prone to being neglected, abused, or taken for granted. When I come across such individuals, I sometimes attempt to encourage them to do things for themselves, as many of them are actually surprised at the suggestion, and never think to do so, unless others first suggest it.

I've read several of your posts on this site, and understand why you feel the way you do. You do not feel the need to hide your opinions, and approach conversations with a blunt tone. It's not unnatural for someone to do so when they have been exposed to much abuse. Many people don't understand, and may tell you that's not the proper way to behave, though they don't understand that people will mimic each other, and if they are polite and kind, it's usually because they were raised in such a manner. In saying that, this is my advice. While many see me as a rather cheery person, I myself choose to display a persona more accepting to society. Like you, I once thought there was no point in nice behaviours, as I too felt I was respected more when I was less pleasant, but learned fast that this can leave you lonely, and learned to balance both. I strive to have a personality that is socially acceptable most of the time, while also standing up to those who choose to bring me down. It's hard work, don't get me wrong, but I personally have found it to be a rather rewarding challenge.
 
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Do you feel comfortable adopting another persona because isn't that the same thing as lying? Saying that, i have learnt to lie brilliantly after realising that honesty doesn't work if no one else is. Humanity should really consider this.
 
What you say about the mothers is a good example. The fact that they have to keep doing it shows that they are doing it for the buzz they get so is therefore selfish, its proactive don't get me wrong, but selfish nonetheless.
 
While it is essentially lying, I prefer not to see it as so much lying, but reprogramming my mind. Faking it til I make it so. I am not the same person I was ten years ago, and those closest to me are noticing. I have gained much more respect as a person, and am happier for it :)
 
I'm going to stick up for mothers because I think you are making an unfair assumption. There are many things that I do as a mother that makes me feel terrible. The only reason I do them is because my love for my daughters outweighs my fear. I have extreme social anxiety and would rather stay in my home where I feel safe and comfortable than go out and be with people. I know I'm not the only mother who does things out of love rather than doing them for some kind of personal reward. I have no need for people to think I'm wonderful because of anything I do for someone else. I also know many people who do good things anonymously. If you think about it, surely there has been someone who has been kind to you with no expectations of reward. I certainly hope so.
 
You are absolutely right but evolutionarily people love each other to get satisfaction. It is all about self preservation i.e. when you help others endorphins are released and we subconsciously keep doing it because we are addicted to the release if endorphins. On a high level, you are 100% right but not at a lower level. There is mo nice but only survival and this can override other emotions if triggered i.e. by angering someone and them showing the irrationality.

I meant no offence.

And as to your last point- no, i have never come across it. My parents were narcs. However, it is the same thing from a different perspective.
 
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