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Hidden Heroes...

Chance

"all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien
V.I.P Member
Some people seem to affect me deeply. For once I'm not talking about people who have hurt me, or people who are ugly to me... I want to rise above all that for a while.

In life I look for treasures, and most of the time those treasures are wisdom people have left hidden for us to find and use. Its like their intelligence overshadows all this stuff we call LIFE. Sometimes I will just hear a phase, or a quote and it will stick in my head until I go look it up.

I'm so thankful for our technology in this respect. It often takes me off on a journey into peoples lives that I could have never known. I love to learn, and much of it is from people I could never possibly have known, but only through works they have left behind.

In this I see how valuable life is, and what a loss it can result in. I have many people I learn from and consider to be a heroes in my life, but this guy just blows my mind. He was so brilliant and I would have loved to be able to have known him in real life. He takes what is so complicated and breaks it back down into what is so simple... Not many people can pull that off. Thats how he became my. hidden hero. : )

Deep within me is this urge, this thought process, this longing, to bring back what humanity is just tossing out the window. Its our sanity, our common sense, our value to this planet.

ASD forum or not, many of us are more aware of a humanity that is slipping away. In that is what I pickup on more than anything else. It is what upsets me. It is what I cant understand. It is what horrifies me for those coming after us. I cherish this gift we call LIFE and I am surrounded by people who abuse it... Maybe thats what makes me so different, so weird, so messed up. I care on levels they seem to have lost, and I (we) am the one(s) who is(are) messed up because of it.

In my digging I have found that many of the great inventors, the philosophers, and innovators are suspected to have had what is known as ASD today. According to many sources, but one in particular... A sadly named website called, disabled-world.com list Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Isaac Newton, Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Graham Bell, Benjamin Franklin, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison as being suspected of having autistic traits. These are the founders, movers and shakers of what shaped the very reality we live in and I want to defend and restore. My list is very incomplete for there are many great names and their efforts listed. In my sick mind these are my ancestors, not by blood, but by theory of mind. So with that said it makes me very upset to waste my life wallowing in my limitations.

Alan Watts, (not to be confused with Alan Watt - the discredited ASD vaccine guy).
These are 2 very different people! Alan Watts (the deceased British Philosopher) has no historical credentials of being associated with ASD, but he thought like I do, only better, he can display it, where I can grasp it.

Does anyone else have hidden heroes that influence them?
If so feel free to share what they (and you) want the world to know.

 
Please, @Chance, don't call your mind sick. It's a fascinating place that gives birth to interesting topics like you've just shown us in this thread.

I wouldn't call them heroes but there are people that influenced me deeply. Some are the authors of books I found wisdom in like Carlos Ruiz Zafon, some are scientists like Marie Curie-Skłodowska, some are autistic people that have overcome their limitations and neurotypical people's contempt like Temple Grandin, some are religious leaders even if I consider myself a seeking 'atheist' for now. However, the universe is so vast and unimited space that just going the same way somebody has already went through, spy their steps as next journey points, seems a waste to me. I'm pioneer and while listening to the wise, I want to create my own path. 'Walking in the rythm of my own drum'.
 
Please, @Chance, don't call your mind sick. It's a fascinating place that gives birth to interesting topics like you've just shown us in this thread.

I wouldn't call them heroes but there are people that influenced me deeply. Some are the authors of books I found wisdom in like Carlos Ruiz Zafon, some are scientists like Marie Curie-Skłodowska, some are autistic people that have overcome their limitations and neurotypical people's contempt like Temple Grandin, some are religious leaders even if I consider myself a seeking 'atheist' for now. However, the universe is so vast and unimited space that just going the same way somebody has already went through, spy their steps as next journey points, seems a waste to me. I'm pioneer and while listening to the wise, I want to create my own path. 'Walking in the rythm of my own drum'.

I just like to take and glean from what I learn from people, and it all culminates into the tools I use to make my own way also. Some people may seem weird, or have strange traits, but in their teachings there may be one shining jewel of wisdom that I collect and hold on too.
 
Some people seem to affect me deeply. For once I'm not talking about people who have hurt me, or people who are ugly to me... I want to rise above all that for a while.

In life I look for treasures, and most of the time those treasures are wisdom people have left hidden for us to find and use. Its like their intelligence overshadows all this stuff we call LIFE. Sometimes I will just hear a phase, or a quote and it will stick in my head until I go look it up.

I'm so thankful for our technology in this respect. It often takes me off on a journey into peoples lives that I could have never known. I love to learn, and much of it is from people I could never possibly have known, but only through works they have left behind.

In this I see how valuable life is, and what a loss it can result in. I have many people I learn from and consider to be a heroes in my life, but this guy just blows my mind. He was so brilliant and I would have loved to be able to have known him in real life. He takes what is so complicated and breaks it back down into what is so simple... Not many people can pull that off. Thats how he became my. hidden hero. : )

Deep within me is this urge, this thought process, this longing, to bring back what humanity is just tossing out the window. Its our sanity, our common sense, our value to this planet.

ASD forum or not, many of us are more aware of a humanity that is slipping away. In that is what I pickup on more than anything else. It is what upsets me. It is what I cant understand. It is what horrifies me for those coming after us. I cherish this gift we call LIFE and I am surrounded by people who abuse it... Maybe thats what makes me so different, so weird, so messed up. I care on levels they seem to have lost, and I (we) am the one(s) who is(are) messed up because of it.

In my digging I have found that many of the great inventors, the philosophers, and innovators are suspected to have had what is known as ASD today. According to many sources, but one in particular... A sadly named website called, disabled-world.com list Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Isaac Newton, Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Graham Bell, Benjamin Franklin, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison as being suspected of having autistic traits. These are the founders, movers and shakers of what shaped the very reality we live in and I want to defend and restore. My list is very incomplete for there are many great names and their efforts listed. In my sick mind these are my ancestors, not by blood, but by theory of mind. So with that said it makes me very upset to waste my life wallowing in my limitations.

Alan Watts, (not to be confused with Alan Watt - the discredited ASD vaccine guy).
These are 2 very different people! Alan Watts (the deceased British Philosopher) has no historical credentials of being associated with ASD, but he thought like I do, only better, he can display it, where I can grasp it.

Does anyone else have hidden heroes that influence them?
If so feel free to share what they (and you) want the world to know.

I agree with onlything Chance....you have just proven that your mind is anything but sick. I would go so far as to say it's very special!
Please stop putting yourself down.
I will give some thought to my hidden heroes and get back to you.:)
 
"Sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine"

Alan Turing.
 
I cannot remember if I talked about this issue in this forum or not, but yes, absolutely I had a hero. But, before I talk about that person who changed my life and attitude forever, I will have to give much background information that will put the things I later say into context.

I was sitting in one of my university classes at age twenty, an Engineering Drawing class that was required for my Modelmaking curriculum at that time, before I decided to change my majors, as although creating replica scale models of real life homes and objects for the modelmaking courses was fun using various machines and my hands and a variety of materials, they required speaking in front of the class after completion of each project, to discuss what we had created, how we created it, what materials we used, and the challenges we faced.

I failed miserably in those classes during those speeches, as my mind was racing with negative thoughts and fear for days leading up to those oral presentations, with me panicking the more I visualized what would happen. It was not a matter of would I fail, but how bad I would fail. My parents conditioned me to not talk, hate myself and fear the world, and so my social self-esteem was 0 on a scale of 0-10, and my shyness traits I rated that way, too. I had no friends, lived alone, and felt totally alone, judged and analyzed by everyone, and critiqued and shunned by all.

The speeches I gave were a nightmare. Standing in front of these ten students or so who were sitting around a rectangular table in a wood shop environment, my face was red and with head looking down and eyes diverted, as I opened my mouth and nothing more than a few words would come out, not only because that was how I was trained, not to talk, but because of severe panic with my voice horribly cracking, and my focus on the snickering of a few faces with my quick glances and with my negative self talk how I was again acting a screwed up timid and fearful child.

The professor of this class also taught psychology classes and that made things worse, with me feeling more scrutinized, as I knew he knew what at least one of the conditions I had, severe social phobia, as often when he did attendance roll call, he tried to act like he could not remember my name, as he always remembered the rest of the names of the students. It was as if he thought I would think he was thinking "David, I am not judging you as I do not remember you. So, relax, concentrate on your speech and not on us."

Well, I took his selective faulty memory towards remembering just my name entirely differently. I felt he was thinking, "Yes, I know you are extremely fearful and shy and likely were abused growing up. And I know you hate speeches. I wish I could help you right now, but it is a class requirement to do this. If you cannot handle this, then I am confident you will do what is best for you: to fight or flee." Although this guy was not my hero, and the person I will discuss next was, his secret words to me, that I felt he was thinking, and my extreme failures in that class told me I had to flee, for now.

So, I quit that class and Modelmaking curriculum after again another awful failed speech, and was sitting now in that Engineering Drawing class that I mentioned in the beginning of this post, looking down at the frontal view lines I was drawing meticulously, pondering what to do next with my life. All of a sudden I hear a faint knock on the class door, and the professor seemed stunned and opens it a crack, talks quietly to a clean cut guy that looks about twenty, and after about two minutes let him in. The guy looks sullen, and so this interests me more. I have no idea what he is about to say.

He stands perfectly centered in front of us all sitting on stools at our sloped down large desks, and begins to speak. He speaks in quieter, but mature style, with his relevant, eloquent and polite words. He began by thanking the professor and then us students all for the opportunity to speak to a group as he had an important message to tell. He talked about his best friend had died from drinking and driving, and how he felt some guilt over that, and how he wanted to tell his story to help others see the dangers of driving under the influence of alcohol, and he hoped we could learn other valuable lessons too, with a desire we spread the word.

The more this gentleman spoke calmly, professionally and passionately, despite his pain, the more intrigued I became, as his best friend had just died the day before, and he felt he contributed to that. He said he had the opportunity to take away his keys, and he said he knew he looked partially drunk on that day, but his friend was assertive and told him "No, I will be ok." The guy standing before us said he reluctantly let him get in his car, and had a bad lapse of judgment in not being forceful enough in saying he could drive him instead. He felt much guilt as when he drove away, he sensed tragedy would happen.

And then the nightmare for that friend and his family and this guy speaking to us now really began, as the car within a few minutes apparently crashed violently into a telephone phone crunching and splitting it. The guy was pronounced dead on the scene, and the speaker said he could hear ambulances and fire truck sirens. He assumed the worst and wanted to drive in that direction, but he froze. Once he learned the news, he said he could not stop crying, and he thought about harming himself for the pain to be over. He feared facing his friend's family, and he would miss terribly his friend.

This guy though had that strength to go to the local college I was attending to speak, and to go speak at several other schools from what I learned, to speak to several classes of professors, teachers and students. He did not have to do this, and he could have recoiled in his pain, felt long term sorrow for himself and end his life. He said he not only wanted to help others, but he needed to. It was his mission. He said he would have even more shame, pain and guilt otherwise. He needed to show not only his deceased friend and their family he would be a stronger and nicer person, and learn from this, but he needed to help others learn from this.

This gentleman needed also to do this for himself. He felt this horrible experience the day before changed his life for the better, and he would try to motivate himself, but others too, not through just words, and not just through actions, but by actions and words. And so, this was my hero, as he courageously faced his peers, at a time he was at an all time low, and he spoke in a way that made everyone proud. He gave his heart and soul, did not cry, patiently answered all of our questions when he offered that opportunity, and he looked at each one of us throughout his speech and session with us, showing his love for us all.

From that day on, about thirty years ago, I knew what my goals in life was to do: It was not to wallow in pity, to spend my life thinking of myself first, but to help others as best as I could, but allowing time for myself too, if the stress and efforts became too great. If assisting was more through writing and one in one face-to-face talks, more than to groups or persons I could not trust, then that was ok, at least initially. But, I had a need to at least try to improve my shyness and socially skills to help more others. I will not detail those attempts and improvements here, as I did that elsewhere in this forum.

So, yes, that guy who spoke before us in that class that day was my hero. He reminded me of what I envisioned myself to one day be: a nice guy that thinks of others before himself, and one that can speak clearly, logically, precisely, calmly but with passion and positive approach about topics that can be very distressing, and when I am under pressure and stress. And since that day, although there were bumps in the road, I never forgot that guy to help me through those tough times. I changed to a Liberal Arts major, where I could avoid courses that I failed, resorted to self-help to get stronger and more functional, transferrd to a university where I majored in Math, and enjoyed life for 20 years alone and got married, and then having two kids, whom I support and help daily as well.
 
Last edited:
I cannot remember if I talked about this issue in this forum or not, but yes, absolutely I had a hero. But, before I talk about that person who changed my life and attitude forever, I will have to give much background information that will put the things I later say into context.

I was sitting in one of my university classes at age twenty, an Engineering Drawing class that was required for my Modelmaking curriculum at that time, before I decided to change my majors, as although creating replica scale models of real life homes and objects for the modelmaking courses was fun using various machines and my hands and a variety of materials, they required speaking in front of the class after completion of each project, to discuss what we had created, how we created it, what materials we used, and the challenges we faced.

I failed miserably in those classes during those speeches, as my mind was racing with negative thoughts and fear for days leading up to those oral presentations, with me panicking the more I visualized what would happen. It was not a matter of would I fail, but how bad I would fail. My parents conditioned me to not talk, hate myself and fear the world, and so my social self-esteem was 0 on a scale of 0-10, and my shyness traits I rated that way, too. I had no friends, lived alone, and felt totally alone, judged and analyzed by everyone, and critiqued and shunned by all.

The speeches I gave were a nightmare. Standing in front of these ten students or so who were sitting around a rectangular table in a wood shop environment, my face was red and with head looking down and eyes diverted, as I opened my mouth and nothing more than a few words would come out, not only because that was how I was trained, not to talk, but because of severe panic with my voice horribly cracking, and my focus on the snickering of a few faces with my quick glances and with my negative self talk how I was again acting a screwed up timid and fearful child.

The professor of this class also taught psychology classes and that made things worse, with me feeling more scrutinized, as I knew he knew what at least one of the conditions I had, severe social phobia, as often when he did attendance roll call, he tried to act like he could not remember my name, as he always remembered the rest of the names of the students. It was as if he thought I would think he was thinking "David, I am not judging you as I do not remember you. So, relax, concentrate on your speech and not on us."

Well, I took his selective faulty memory towards remembering just my name entirely differently. I felt he was thinking, "Yes, I know you are extremely fearful and shy and likely were abused growing up. And I know you hate speeches. I wish I could help you right now, but it is a class requirement to do this. If you cannot handle this, then I am confident you will do what is best for you: to fight or flee." Although this guy was not my hero, and the person I will discuss next was, his secret words to me, that I felt he was thinking, and my extreme failures in that class told me I had to flee, for now.

So, I quit that class and Modelmaking curriculum after again another awful failed speech, and was sitting now in that Engineering Drawing class that I mentioned in the beginning of this post, looking down at the frontal view lines I was drawing meticulously, pondering what to do next with my life. All of a sudden I hear a faint knock on the class door, and the professor seemed stunned and opens it a crack, talks quietly to a clean cut guy that looks about twenty, and after about two minutes let him in. The guy looks sullen, and so this interests me more. I have no idea what he is about to say.

He stands perfectly centered in front of us all sitting on stools at our sloped down large desks, and begins to speak. He speaks in quieter, but mature style, with his relevant, eloquent and polite words. He began by thanking the professor and then us students all for the opportunity to speak to a group as he had an important message to tell. He talked about his best friend had died from drinking and driving, and how he felt some guilt over that, and how he wanted to tell his story to help others see the dangers of driving under the influence of alcohol, and he hoped we could learn other valuable lessons too, with a desire we spread the word.

The more this gentleman spoke calmly, professionally and passionately, despite his pain, the more intrigued I became, as his best friend had just died the day before, and he felt he contributed to that. He said he had the opportunity to take away his keys, and he said he knew he looked partially drunk on that day, but his friend was assertive and told him "No, I will be ok." The guy standing before us said he reluctantly let him get in his car, and had a bad lapse of judgment in not being forceful enough in saying he could drive him instead. He felt much guilt as when he drove away, he sensed tragedy would happen.

And then the nightmare for that friend and his family and this guy speaking to us now really began, as the car within a few minutes apparently crashed violently into a telephone phone crunching and splitting it. The guy was pronounced dead on the scene, and the speaker said he could hear ambulances and fire truck sirens. He assumed the worst and wanted to drive in that direction, but he froze. Once he learned the news, he said he could not stop crying, and he thought about harming himself for the pain to be over. He feared facing his friend's family, and he would miss terribly his friend.

This guy though had that strength to go to the local college I was attending to speak, and to go speak at several other schools from what I learned, to speak to several classes of professors, teachers and students. He did not have to do this, and he could have recoiled in his pain, felt long term sorrow for himself and end his life. He said he not only wanted to help others, but he needed to. It was his mission. He said he would have even more shame, pain and guilt otherwise. He needed to show not only his deceased friend and their family he would be a stronger and nicer person, and learn from this, but he needed to help others learn from this.

This gentleman needed also to do this for himself. He felt this horrible experience the day before changed his life for the better, and he would try to motivate himself, but others too, not through just words, and not just through actions, but by actions and words. And so, this was my hero, as he courageously faced his peers, at a time he was at an all time low, and he spoke in a way that made everyone proud. He gave his heart and soul, did not cry, patiently answered all of our questions when he offered that opportunity, and he looked at each one of us throughout his speech and session with us, showing his love for us all.

From that day on, about thirty years ago, I knew what my goals in life was to do: It was not to wallow in pity, to spend my life thinking of myself first, but to help others as best as I could, but allowing time for myself too, if the stress and efforts became too great. If assisting was more through writing and one in one face-to-face talks, more than to groups or persons I could not trust, then that was ok, at least initially. But, I had a need to at least try to improve my shyness and socially skills to help more others. I will not detail those attempts and improvements here, as I did that elsewhere in this forum.

So, yes, that guy who spoke before us in that class that day was my hero. He reminded me of what I envisioned myself to one day be: a nice guy that thinks of others before himself, and one that can speak clearly, logically, precisely, calmly but with passion and positive approach about topics that can be very distressing, and when I am under pressure and stress. And since that day, although there were bumps in the road, I never forgot that guy to help me through those tough times. I changed to a Liberal Arts major, where I could avoid courses that I failed, resorted to self-help to get stronger and more functional, transferrd to a university where I majored in Math, and enjoyed life for 20 years alone and got married, and then having two kids, whom I support and help daily as well.


Thats a really cool story, and it shows the strength some of us can produce in some really horrible circumstances... wow. I can not hold back my emotions like that... I so wish I could.
 
Julia Butterfly Hill

I really like people who know what they stand for.

They burn the land off with Napalm... How does that make any sense?
We are using up things at really fast rates.
Its sad to think what we will destroy for money.
 

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