Hi all. I'm here to learn a few things. While I don't fit cleanly into Aspie I am definitely not neurotypical and definitely share some characteristics with Aspies - like sensory hypersensitivities, ability to dive deeply into areas of interest (of which I have too many to apparently be an Aspie), frustration with people who don't follow rules that are made for the common good (but I also don't think unkind or unjust rules should be followed just because they are rules; for that there's civil disobedience etc).
I'm married to a non-neurotypical man who sits at least in borderline Aspie territory, i.e. a bit further over towards that than me. He's got the hypersensitivities, the obsessions, the difficulty socialising with neurotypical people, the tendency to get bogged down on the nitty-gritties when the big picture needs attention, for example. He finds neurotypical people boring and hates small talk, but they'd not necessarily know it - while he avoids socialising in his free time, especially with large groups, he's also very good at his face-to-face role in work and much appreciated for his bedside manner there (though he actually would prefer to change back out to a desk job where he doesn't have to deal with people and is looking at doing that, because it stresses the heck out of him to do the face-to-face).
I personally find it easy to connect with others (but didn't always, in part because I had to overcome my upbringing first) and he doesn't find me boring because we're both interested in a lot of things average people find a bit esoteric, like astrophysics, philosophy, fine arts. We both love reading all sorts of things and are voracious writers. He on the whole has excellent values and wouldn't sell you down the river like some people. A reputable online test says he's cusp Aspie but one of the problems with all of this is working these things out, and I thought I should hang around people who know more about these things to be educated by people who have real-life experience of these things.
I love my husband dearly and we generally have a happy relationship. I've come to this forum because I need better ways of solving conflicts with him, specifically around his meltdowns which he has around three times a year and which he didn't always have, but we've lived with for ten years now and we need help with. They and their tail are seriously distressing to me, and obviously it's not good for him either to get to the point of having a meltdown. No relationship no matter how many happy years you've had is invulnerable to ending when something like this isn't able to be dealt with. Anyway, I'm starting a separate thread on that if anyone would like to make some suggestions.
But I'm also happy to hear any thoughts anyone reading may have on any of this.
The above intro is summary and I'm happy to expand if there's any questions.
I'm married to a non-neurotypical man who sits at least in borderline Aspie territory, i.e. a bit further over towards that than me. He's got the hypersensitivities, the obsessions, the difficulty socialising with neurotypical people, the tendency to get bogged down on the nitty-gritties when the big picture needs attention, for example. He finds neurotypical people boring and hates small talk, but they'd not necessarily know it - while he avoids socialising in his free time, especially with large groups, he's also very good at his face-to-face role in work and much appreciated for his bedside manner there (though he actually would prefer to change back out to a desk job where he doesn't have to deal with people and is looking at doing that, because it stresses the heck out of him to do the face-to-face).
I personally find it easy to connect with others (but didn't always, in part because I had to overcome my upbringing first) and he doesn't find me boring because we're both interested in a lot of things average people find a bit esoteric, like astrophysics, philosophy, fine arts. We both love reading all sorts of things and are voracious writers. He on the whole has excellent values and wouldn't sell you down the river like some people. A reputable online test says he's cusp Aspie but one of the problems with all of this is working these things out, and I thought I should hang around people who know more about these things to be educated by people who have real-life experience of these things.
I love my husband dearly and we generally have a happy relationship. I've come to this forum because I need better ways of solving conflicts with him, specifically around his meltdowns which he has around three times a year and which he didn't always have, but we've lived with for ten years now and we need help with. They and their tail are seriously distressing to me, and obviously it's not good for him either to get to the point of having a meltdown. No relationship no matter how many happy years you've had is invulnerable to ending when something like this isn't able to be dealt with. Anyway, I'm starting a separate thread on that if anyone would like to make some suggestions.
But I'm also happy to hear any thoughts anyone reading may have on any of this.
The above intro is summary and I'm happy to expand if there's any questions.
I’m really happy you two have been able to have a happy marriage despite some issues. It’s really important for autistic people to have people we can rely on in our lives who are fully supportive.
) and asked if he couldn't just believe me about something like this. He threw the head torch into the bushes and stormed off. This isn't everyday behaviour for him, it comes and goes and we're still in the tail of that recent meltdown I mentioned on the "Help with meltdowns" thread. But it's taking a toll on me just now. Complex PTSD is not an ideal partner for an Aspie meltdown. So I really do need some help right now so that I don't run away with the circus instead of continuing to work on our marriage.
It augurs well for being able to learn things here. And I hope that you have a better day today! 
