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Holiday "Blews"

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peoplesrjames

Well-Known Member
This was an awful holiday. For the past 10 years I've traveled back home to celebrate Christmas. I decided not to go because I realized I never have a good time. It's usually everyone enjoying themselves and me feeling left out and in my room or on the computer. So I spent it alone. I typically do Thanksgiving with my roommates family, but I didn't feel like seeing them for Christmas since I just had dinner with them for Thanksgiving. So I stayed home alone and felt like calling no one. Is this normal?
 
I would probably do this, too, if my family weren't so easy to get along with (and close by). We have a very "live and let live" attitude with each other, and we all have our issues. We don't spend much time together, and I rarely hear from them other than holidays anyways.

There were a few years where I spent some holidays traveling by myself, I didn't feel lonely or left out.
 
It was my spouse and myself. No fuss, no anxiety, no stress. Think it's the first time that I didn't cook for two days to recreate the 'christmas' feast that we usually have many leftovers from. We had food that we liked, but didn't feel so full as to not want to eat for two days.

No traveling by car in a snowstorm on canadian roads for an entire day either. It was quiet and peaceful, just as it should be. Enjoyed the lack of hype, present ripping, competition gaming, sibling rivalry and total exhaustion from cooking, doing dishes, cooking again, doing dishes. An adult's Christmas for the first time.
 
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I don't know if it's "normal" or not. I was alone on Christmas eve and will be as well when we pass into the new year, and I don't really feel like that's such a bad thing. If I had someone to spend the time with, would I want that? Probably.
 
peoplesrjames said:
This was an awful holiday. For the past 10 years I've traveled back home to celebrate Christmas. I decided not to go because I realized I never have a good time. It's usually everyone enjoying themselves and me feeling left out and in my room or on the computer. So I spent it alone. I typically do Thanksgiving with my roommates family, but I didn't feel like seeing them for Christmas since I just had dinner with them for Thanksgiving. So I stayed home alone and felt like calling no one. Is this normal?
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I have had to get used to it, too. Two years ago I was trapped in a room because of an issue with displacement. That was the worst. I never even left the room.

Last year a friend invited me over so I go to watch her and her family have a good time. I was bored to tears. Bored and wanting to see my own family. OH so bored!! Not an Aspie in the lot!!!
 
peoplesrjames said:
This was an awful holiday. For the past 10 years I've traveled back home to celebrate Christmas. I decided not to go because I realized I never have a good time. It's usually everyone enjoying themselves and me feeling left out and in my room or on the computer. So I spent it alone. I typically do Thanksgiving with my roommates family, but I didn't feel like seeing them for Christmas since I just had dinner with them for Thanksgiving. So I stayed home alone and felt like calling no one. Is this normal?
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well good for you for taking a hard step and distancing yourself from a routine that doesnt do anything for you,that is a very hard thing to do for anyone let alone autists.
you should have logged on here/AC over christmas and talked to people as lots of us isolate ourselves on the computer for various reasons [whether its your routine,you have depression, or you have no family friends to spend christmas with etc].

i think its common for autists to feel alienated at christmas family parties/dinners, its an interaction and social thing isnt it and we all suck at those things more or less, maybe next time you could do christmas dinner at your place if you have the space or that could be a future goal.
 
I am so glad that it is an ordinary day now, because when I used to celebrate, I found it depressing after gift opening was finished and then, it was the drudge of cooking and clearing away and after that, the decorations seem to take on a glarry kind of look, whereas up to that day, the same things looked mysterious and dreamy and I honestly could not wait to get the house back to normal.

I learned later that this is not the date of Jesus' birth and further that it is not even mentioned in the bible ( despite never actually celebrating for that reason), I was so glad to just throw it off and now, no more stresses on what to buy and what to cook etc and I hear so many in shops moaning about: here we go again and can't wait for it to be over.

It seems a sort of obligation to celebrate.

What makes me shake my head is that 31 of October it is all about horrors and the VERY next day, it is about fairies and etc and even on the 25th, people were waiting for shops to open to get bargains, which is just inane, since they put prices down AFTERWARD'S and not for this time of year!

Yes, I am so glad to have my eyes open and free from all of this!
 
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