Homeschooling

[Miel]

I don't have an autism diagnosis, but I am homeschooling a child who does. I'm looking for people who can give me advice on how this child thinks so that I can tailor his education to his specific learning style and maybe alleviate some of his frustration.

 

[tree]

I am sure there will be many members who offer ideas.
They will need some additional details about the child.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Hi. Welcome to the group. We homeschool our two Autistic sons, too. They will be starting back up again on Tuesday, as it is an August to mid May calendar schedule for them, after just having had a few months off. We are planning their curriculums this weekend, for their upcoming academic year. So, we are looking forward to that.

Our two children are five and seven years old, and each has to be taught differently because of their ages, preferences, interests, abilities, limitations, unique sensory issues, and different learning styles. We go at the pace best for each, and teach in the ways best for each, after understanding thoroughly and analyzing each child's strengths and weaknesses.

We live in the US, and each state has their own rules and regulations regarding homeschooling. We purposely chose to relocate to a different more homeschooling friendly state before our children started to be homeschooled. Unlike most schools, we cater to each child's specific needs, and we teach not only the basic subjects, in hands-on creative ways, but we believe in teaching naturally out daily in public too.

We would not be able to tell you how your child thinks, as each Autistic child is different. I am unsure the age of the child, and how their Autistic signs and symptoms manifest. Is the child verbal, or with language and communication issues? Does he or she have routines, or specific interests? Any sensory issues that you are aware of? How is the child's behaviors? Any fine or gross motor skill issues? How is the child's cognitive abilities?

 

[Ambi]

Each child is unique - is it possible for you to get an evaluation from a speech language pathologist or an occupational therapist to help you tailor his education?

 

[SusanLR]

I was homeschooled for highschool.
Wish I had a bit more information on your child's issues and age, but, I can tell you mine.

I never fit in with other kids in school. No friends. And really didn't care. But, somehow they seemed to know I was 'different' and I took a lot of bullying. They made fun of my looks, my higher than norm IQ, and certain ways I acted that somehow made many call me crazy. Never understood what I did to make them think that.
At age 13 I developed a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. My sensory issues of sensitive hearing and the type of clothing we were required to wear made a lot of things difficult. They have headphones to lessen sounds now.
I kept coming home from school in 7th grade a nervous wreck and would shut down in my room with a rocking chair and listening to music.
I also had some bad health problems at the time so my parents decided homeschooling would be the best. It was. Those formative years between 14 and 18 for me were best spent to myself doing things that weren't stressing me out everyday. I think I would have ended up very badly had I been forced to go to highschool.
A lot of the anxiety, sensory overloads, meltdown shutdowns and inability to socialise were better by age 19. I was able to go to college and business school by then, albeit, close enough that I didn't have to stay away from home. I just drove back and forth.
So main problems for me were anxiety, social skills, and some OCD.

 

[Crossbreed]

You have basically two choices:

1. You have age-appropriate expectations which the child might rise to meet, or
2. You could predigest everything to accommodate [them?] such as incorporating their perseverations into your lesson plans.

#1 is ideal for broader impact on embracing responsibility along with academics, but foments a contentious relationship until your discipline becomes their self-discipline.

#2 is less contentious academically, but they won't get the resistance training necessary to develop their character effectively.

Some autistics are not up to the tasks of approach #1 and you are limited to #2. Most will probably require some negotiating between the two extremes.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

You have basically two choices:

1. You have age-appropriate expectations which the child might rise to meet, or
2. You could predigest everything to accommodate [them?] such as incorporating their perseverations into your lesson plans.

#1 is ideal for broader impact on embracing responsibility along with academics, but foments a contentious relationship until your discipline becomes their self-discipline.

#2 is less contentious academically, but they won't get the resistance training necessary to develop their character effectively.

Some autistics are not up to the tasks of approach #1 and you are limited to #2. Most will probably require some negotiating between the two extremes.

For Aaron, our older son, it is a combination of one and two, and he is near or above his grade level for most subjects, but he requires them to be taught in both visual and kinesthetic ways, and in the amounts and orders, as per his exceptional abilities, his needs for each, and his desires, and we make learning continually to be fun and rewarding for him, challenging him as well.

For Dylan, our youngest, there is no way he could learn at typical grade level pace as his peers, and we must accommodate his many needs, and teach in the slower ways he needs. So, until his learning abilities become greater, his strengths more, and his needs less, we focus on what he loves best, introduce other things slower, and we instruct kinesthetically using the materials he only prefers.

 

[SomeRandomAspie]

I don't have an autism diagnosis, but I am homeschooling a child who does. I'm looking for people who can give me advice on how this child thinks so that I can tailor his education to his specific learning style and maybe alleviate some of his frustration.

Don't mean to pry, but is it HFA or Asperger's. I know more about the latter. While both are very similar there are a few key differences. Either way, both people with HFA and Asperger's have average to very high IQ's. It's important to make sure that the process suites him. In life process is more important than any other aspect. That's an important thing that makes life 10 times easier.

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Miel]

Thank you everyone for responding! I was nervous about saying more about my son to strangers, but this seems like a very accepting forum.

My son just turned 9. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism, but I don't know the difference between this and Aspergers. He is very extroverted and friendly, while having a hard time understanding subtle social rules. He studies people intensely and is constantly confused and distressed that he can't figure out what he's doing wrong. The more anxious he becomes, the harder social interaction is for him and he ends up losing friends and getting bullied. He's also very vulnerable to bullies because he will do anything they tell him to do and believe what they say. This is the biggest reason I home school him. He can't even begin to focus on academics when most of his cognitive energy is spent studying people and trying to control a number of sensory issues (e.g. super-acute hearing, over-reactive sense of touch, highly sensitive to colors and light).

Academically, he is very much above grade level, but he is hyperlinguistic, so he often sounds smarter than he is. The big issues I have with teaching him are recognizing when he has memorized something rather than really understanding it, and his trouble with organizing his work. I think I have found a math curriculum that forces him to think about what he's doing, rather than simply getting the right answer, but he gets frustrated more than he did when he could just do rows of problems and work them out in his head. He has, after two years of home schooling, learned to manage his frustration better, but meltdowns are not uncommon.

His reading and vocabulary are at college freshman level and he writes incredibly insightful, creative stories, but his writing tends to be disorganized. Now that we're starting on essays, he's really suffering. He can quote the textbooks, find other people's errors, discuss the implications of poor writing and yet his own writing is all over the place. This is the big issue for me right now: how much do I correct these poor essays and how much do I let slide so he doesn't lose heart? If I let something go until I think he's ready to be corrected, he comes back later with, "But it was right before!"

His strengths are that, although he has "obsessions", they are many and varied, and he's persistent. It's not hard to interest him in a new subject, but it's hard to get him off the subject. For instance, we studied Victorian England for six months and then moved on to dinosaurs for about nine months. By the end of the dinosaur unit, however, he knew just about everything there is to know on these two subjects. He also keeps trying, even when he's in tears and screaming in agony, he keeps trying. Another big strength is that I can talk to him and he has pretty good insight into his own thinking.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Thank you everyone for responding! I was nervous about saying more about my son to strangers, but this seems like a very accepting forum.

My son just turned 9. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism, but I don't know the difference between this and Aspergers. He is very extroverted and friendly, while having a hard time understanding subtle social rules. He studies people intensely and is constantly confused and distressed that he can't figure out what he's doing wrong. The more anxious he becomes, the harder social interaction is for him and he ends up losing friends and getting bullied. He's also very vulnerable to bullies because he will do anything they tell him to do and believe what they say. This is the biggest reason I home school him. He can't even begin to focus on academics when most of his cognitive energy is spent studying people and trying to control a number of sensory issues (e.g. super-acute hearing, over-reactive sense of touch, highly sensitive to colors and light).

Academically, he is very much above grade level, but he is hyperlinguistic, so he often sounds smarter than he is. The big issues I have with teaching him are recognizing when he has memorized something rather than really understanding it, and his trouble with organizing his work. I think I have found a math curriculum that forces him to think about what he's doing, rather than simply getting the right answer, but he gets frustrated more than he did when he could just do rows of problems and work them out in his head. He has, after two years of home schooling, learned to manage his frustration better, but meltdowns are not uncommon.

His reading and vocabulary are at college freshman level and he writes incredibly insightful, creative stories, but his writing tends to be disorganized. Now that we're starting on essays, he's really suffering. He can quote the textbooks, find other people's errors, discuss the implications of poor writing and yet his own writing is all over the place. This is the big issue for me right now: how much do I correct these poor essays and how much do I let slide so he doesn't lose heart? If I let something go until I think he's ready to be corrected, he comes back later with, "But it was right before!"

His strengths are that, although he has "obsessions", they are many and varied, and he's persistent. It's not hard to interest him in a new subject, but it's hard to get him off the subject. For instance, we studied Victorian England for six months and then moved on to dinosaurs for about nine months. By the end of the dinosaur unit, however, he knew just about everything there is to know on these two subjects. He also keeps trying, even when he's in tears and screaming in agony, he keeps trying. Another big strength is that I can talk to him and he has pretty good insight into his own thinking.

Thanks for your detailed reply. I would like that question answered too about the difference between high function Autism and Aspergers, so if anybody would have the answer to that, please share that, other than the textbook reply that those with Autism had speech delay as a child, and those with Aspergers did not. That sounds like a silly comparison, as the speech delay could be for some other issue. Maybe there are no differences between a high functioning Autistic child and one with Aspergers, if the medical community cannot come up with something else to show a difference. In the US they just now put everything under one category called Autism Spectrum Disorder, maybe partially for that reason.

Most of the symptoms you mentioned our oldest son Aaron has. He comes across as very friendly, and rushes up to new persons. I am not sure though if he is extroverted, as he loves lots of passive activities. I think for him it is just that he does not know what is appropriate or not regarding socialization, and with fearlessness there in going up to all children and adults. Bullying is the biggest reason we do not send our children to traditional schools, as we do not trust teachers to stop that or even be aware of that, and we know our children would not know how to handle that, or would get upset at that. The second biggest reason for homeschooling is so we do not lower or increase the expectations for each child. We want to teach at the right levels, and in school they mostly teach the same level to the whole group, and expect all students to be ok with this.

We do not want our children either bored for subject material that is too easy, or in the other extreme, we do want either child to be anxious and stressed if some materials are above their abilities to learn. Only we as parents can tailor each subject accordingly, and teach in the learning style that each needs, which is visually and kinesthetically, as both do not learn the best through lecture auditory ways. For Math, Aaron loves learning through workbooks, and through math iPad apps. As well, he loved learning subjects materials through educational dvds as well, and through hands-on activities that I created with various materials, as I majored in math, too, and know how to teach that in creative ways.

I guess our attitude is we will teach each subject not just in one way like most teachers teach, but in several ways. Yes, there will be things our sons cannot comprehend well, and we then just try to show them examples visually of why things are sometimes done this way or that way, if that thing is more needed to be done a certain way. But, as we know Autistic persons can have their own unique ways of thinking and feeling, we try to let them do things their way. In other words, as long as they are learning, and we try to get them to comprehend information, that is all we can do, as they can
process things differently. We look for any signs of meltdowns coming on, and back away and keep thinking of ways to make the learning to be fun.

And for both children, and especially for Aaron, the oldest, he loves learning lots daily. He does not see learning as work, and he does things by routines, but is now open minded to new things, too, once things get too easy. Aaron is more organized than Dylan, our youngest. Dylan has ADHD issues, besides his Autism,too, so it is harder for him to learn as he is so active, and his attention is often on things for brief periods. It sounds like your son has a great memory, is great with detail, has great insight, but has some disorganization mainly with the writing, from what I see so far. I am not sure if your son learns best visually, or through verbal explanation, or hands on, but assuming for now he does not have add issues, too, though that is not too uncommon for those with Autism, I see potential for your son regarding writing, because of his reading abilities and great memory.

I mean, if your son reads well and remembers well, then possibly he will naturally sooner than later start understanding the flow to writing pieces, and paragraphing structures and thesis statements, but of course you can explain gently why readers would want writings organized, and so the importance often of writing in structured ways. If you break the writings down, in terms of understanding things step by step, like grammar, sentence structure, thesis statements, paragraph structure, then organization a body of work, that may or may not help, if he is or is not receptive to it, but if you show him examples side by side of an organized writing piece, too, against a less than organized one, of the same exact subject material, he might process things better. Or a DVD about creative writing, or writing with purpose could help, if you feel he might take your efforts as criticism.

There are several modes of writing too that he might need to eventually know, and each has its own purpose too, like: descriptive, persuasive, analytical, informative, exploratory, explanatory, and comparison and contrast, to name only a few, and that could help him understand that there is often a purpose to write, and the more structured and professional writing is, often this means more will want to read or listen to the contents of the message and not have their mind elsewhere. For friendly letters, of course one can have a more relaxed style.

But, if your son does not have the ability or desire to change his style of writing, after such reasonable gentle attempts, then maybe he just has problems processing his thoughts in that organized way. Whether it is part of the ASD or another condition, that then would be who he is. The key maybe is to try to show him or say things to him in a logical way that he more apt to understand. That works for our son Aaron. Just try different approaches, and if nothing works, just try to be ok with that, and focus on his other strengths, too.

 

[Crossbreed]

I would like that question answered too about the difference between high function Autism and Aspergers, so if anybody would have the answer to that, please share that, other than the textbook reply that those with Autism had speech delay as a child, and those with Aspergers did not.

There is no consensus. Historically,

• Aspergers had no visible cognitive deficits,
• HFA had notable cognitive deficits and
• LFA had pronounced cognitive deficits.

(Mutism has been found to be independent of cognitive ability.)

Average IQs run between 85-115. By the above standards, no one was sure which IQ in that range would be the definitive dividing line between HFA & Aspergers. That is one of the reasons why the DSM-5 consolidated those diagnoses.

In our family, my 30yo HFA son has a mental age of a 6-10yo. My 23yo LFA daughter has a mental age of an 18mo. old.

 

[Bolletje]

I wasn't homeschooled but I'd still like to add my 2 cents. As a kid, I used to run off to the library all the time. I didn't understand why my parents got upset (because I knew the way and I knew to look both ways before crossing the street), didn't realize at the time why a 5-year old was not supposed to go off into the city alone. Anyway, I digress.
My parents made a compromise with me, I got a library card and they took me to the library once a week where I loaned the maximum amount of books allowed. I got to pick the subject, and even though my interests were a little out there sometimes, they let me do my thing. I'm still incredibly grateful for that. I got teased at school for having weird interests, but I didn't care, my books were waiting for me at home. And although my interests persevered I did branch out often. That was the easy thing about the pre-internet age: when I ran out of books, I switched to a new subject

Does your kid have a say in the subjects you study?

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I am interested to, to what the original poster's child's favorite subjects and reading materials are too, as he is a well advanced reader.. It is great he is into dinosaur things, as that shows an interest, but I was curious what other books and reading materials be gravitates, too, in the libraries and elsewhere..

As for Aaron, he loves going weekly to the library the past three years. He has his own library card and signs out about fifteen books a week on average, at a second grade reading level as he is on par there based on his age. If it is a novel full of words, that makes him frustrated, as comprehension is not fully there yet.

Aaron right now loves reading all types of things, whether science or math related, history related, animal related, or regards to adventure type stories. We let him pick out his own books on the shelf, and he is fine reading them alone, but often wants us to sit there with him when he reads too. We let him direct us for reading library books.

 

[Myway]

Hello and Welcome. I was homeschooled as a child and I learned a massive amount by watching and doing a lot of hands on activities. Getting creative was probably the best idea my mother had for my education. Making it exciting and fun is the goal. There may be hard days homeschooling and that's fine, but remember that even if your child learned only one new thing that day, it is one new thing that he or she now knows. Take pride and joy in what you try to do. Your child may thank you later for the time spent helping him or her out. I know I thank my mother often for homeschooling me up until high school. It made life a little easier for me. Routine was very well defined and that's what most kids need. Routine. I hope this helped.

 

[Miel]

I wasn't homeschooled but I'd still like to add my 2 cents. As a kid, I used to run off to the library all the time. I didn't understand why my parents got upset (because I knew the way and I knew to look both ways before crossing the street), didn't realize at the time why a 5-year old was not supposed to go off into the city alone. Anyway, I digress.
My parents made a compromise with me, I got a library card and they took me to the library once a week where I loaned the maximum amount of books allowed. I got to pick the subject, and even though my interests were a little out there sometimes, they let me do my thing. I'm still incredibly grateful for that. I got teased at school for having weird interests, but I didn't care, my books were waiting for me at home. And although my interests persevered I did branch out often. That was the easy thing about the pre-internet age: when I ran out of books, I switched to a new subject

Does your kid have a say in the subjects you study?

Yes, my son's interests generally dictate what we study informally, but I also choose curricula for him that I think will meet his needs and challenge him. There are some things he has to do, but we spend at least ten hours at the library every week and he chooses his own reading material, including non-fiction.

 

[Miel]

I am interested to, to what the original poster's child's favorite subjects and reading materials are too, as he is a well advanced reader.. It is great he is into dinosaur things, as that shows an interest, but I was curious what other books and reading materials be gravitates, too, in the libraries and elsewhere..

As for Aaron, he loves going weekly to the library the past three years. He has his own library card and signs out about fifteen books a week on average, at a second grade reading level as he is on par there based on his age. If it is a novel full of words, that makes him frustrated, as comprehension is not fully there yet.

Aaron right now loves reading all types of things, whether science or math related, history related, animal related, or regards to adventure type stories. We let him pick out his own books on the shelf, and he is fine reading them alone, but often wants us to sit there with him when he reads too. We let him direct us for reading library books.

My son has several interests, some of which he revisits often and some which I would describe more as fads. For example, he has a huge Barbie doll collection which he can ignore or months, and then something re-ignites his interest and he begins cataloguing them or dressing them, or saving up to buy more of them. It's usually a different aspect that he explores each time. Within the Barbie theme, he's been interested in fashion design, Victorian fashion, Disney princess dolls, cataloguing and collecting vintage Barbie dolls, and fantasy play. Other interests are Nancy Drew, Sherlock Holmes, detectives, comics, super heroes, fashion design, astronomy, geography, human evolution, rocks (but not geology), cats, celebrities, real world queens and princesses, Queen Victoria and the Victorian age in England. It's not hard to get him interested in something. If I introduce a subject for school, or he goes to a program at the library, he often spends several weeks or more researching everything he can find out about that subject. If he reads one book in a series, he usually reads the whole series in order plus any guides, commentaries, movies or other related materials.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

My son has several interests, some of which he revisits often and some which I would describe more as fads. For example, he has a huge Barbie doll collection which he can ignore or months, and then something re-ignites his interest and he begins cataloguing them or dressing them, or saving up to buy more of them. It's usually a different aspect that he explores each time. Within the Barbie theme, he's been interested in fashion design, Victorian fashion, Disney princess dolls, cataloguing and collecting vintage Barbie dolls, and fantasy play. Other interests are Nancy Drew, Sherlock Holmes, detectives, comics, super heroes, fashion design, astronomy, geography, human evolution, rocks (but not geology), cats, celebrities, real world queens and princesses, Queen Victoria and the Victorian age in England. It's not hard to get him interested in something. If I introduce a subject for school, or he goes to a program at the library, he often spends several weeks or more researching everything he can find out about that subject. If he reads one book in a series, he usually reads the whole series in order plus any guides, commentaries, movies or other related materials.

It's great to see he has so many interests, and that for each subject you introduce he seems self-motivated too in wanting to research and read a lot on it. By the sounds of it, it looks like boredom should not come into play too much. Our attitude is for any extra interests besides the main subjects, just let our children decide. For Aaron he tells us what he wants to try, like singing and art classes. Once Dylan starts talking, likely sooner than later, if he keeps progressing each week as he has been, we will learn more about his extra interests.

 

[Miel]

I was homeschooled for highschool.
Wish I had a bit more information on your child's issues and age, but, I can tell you mine.

I never fit in with other kids in school. No friends. And really didn't care. But, somehow they seemed to know I was 'different' and I took a lot of bullying. They made fun of my looks, my higher than norm IQ, and certain ways I acted that somehow made many call me crazy. Never understood what I did to make them think that.
At age 13 I developed a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. My sensory issues of sensitive hearing and the type of clothing we were required to wear made a lot of things difficult. They have headphones to lessen sounds now.
I kept coming home from school in 7th grade a nervous wreck and would shut down in my room with a rocking chair and listening to music.
I also had some bad health problems at the time so my parents decided homeschooling would be the best. It was. Those formative years between 14 and 18 for me were best spent to myself doing things that weren't stressing me out everyday. I think I would have ended up very badly had I been forced to go to highschool.
A lot of the anxiety, sensory overloads, meltdown shutdowns and inability to socialise were better by age 19. I was able to go to college and business school by then, albeit, close enough that I didn't have to stay away from home. I just drove back and forth.
So main problems for me were anxiety, social skills, and some OCD.

You say you didn't care about not having friends, so was it mostly the bullying that was causing your anxiety, do you think? Most of my son's anxiety symptoms have cleared up since he started homeschooling, but he's still a high-reactive type of person. His teachers were really outstanding at catching the bullying, but no teacher can protect every child all the time. But I felt that a lot of his anxiety was more due to getting into trouble for breaking rules he either didn't understand (e.g. social norms that everyone else knew and he had no clue about), or trying too hard to make friends. Some of the bullying was indistinguishable from the latter because other children learned really fast that he would do anything they told him to do. He also notices when other people aren't happy with him, and he cares desperately, but he has a hard time figuring out why and doing what he needs to do to repair the relationship. I'll tell you, I never realized how complicated body language and facial expressions are until I had to interpret them to someone else. Do you mind if I ask you questions about what it's like to be you?