How can I stop catastrophizing?

[HorrendousHexapod]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here, and it’s about something I’ve been struggling with for a while. right now I’m a bit lost on what to do and would like some help with my problem.

For the last couple of years I have delved into some unsavoury things regarding politics, generally terrible things regarding different groups of people, such as women, people of colour, people of different sexual orientations, etc. While most people would typically just ignore this stuff and move on with their lives, but for some reason I just can’t do that, and seem to obsess over certain claims being made about different groups of people, especially since some of them use science to prove their points, so I force myself to analyse as much as I can no matter how much I hate it.

But I just can’t take it any more. I feel like I’m living in this constant state of fear and anxiety that I’m wrong about everything and that something will come along that will force me to view the world in a negative light. I’ve tried so long to combat the things I’ve read with my own research, but I can only do so much. And half of the time some of it doesn’t even make any sense or is just so confusing.

For example, some people have made the claim that the majority of black people have committed crimes, causing me to force myself to look into crime statistics regarding unreported crime, arrest rates, and so on, and do calculations on a percentage calculator even though I suck at math. At best, the numbers are alarmingly high, which worry me but I keep telling myself that I have to be unbiased and try to accept it, but at worst, the numbers literally make no sense whatsoever, no matter which way I slice it. And there’s so many unaccountable variables and contradictory studies that I don’t know what to believe most of the time, yet my mind constantly goes to the worst case scenario.

I’m just so tired of all of this. I get no joy out of doing any of this, and it feels like some massive weight is being pushed down on top of me, but I force myself to do it because I worry that if I don’t them I’m just remaining wilfully ignorant, or that I’m just disrespecting the suffering of others for the sake of my own beliefs. On numerous occasions, I just replay things that I already obsessed over months ago, worrying that I missed something the last time I did this, but sometimes I’ll go back and find nothing, and if I decide to be stubborn and say no to myself the guilt will eat away at me. Even on days when I don’t do any of this, the constant nagging and catastrophizing still hums away in the back of my mind like some kind of terrible song that’s stuck in my head and I just want it all to end.

Every time I try to stop I always get a few weeks of peace, before the guilt becomes too overwhelming and the cycle just begins again with some new or old. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I just really need some help.

 

[Outdated]

For example, some people have made the claim that the majority of black people have committed crimes....

You could do yourself a huge favour by recognising this sort of rubbish for exactly what it is. Extremist propaganda designed to suck people in and sow division in our societies.

Go anywhere in the world and you will find a minority group being victimized using exactly the same kind of pseudo science and stacked statistics.

And just because you saw it on the news doesn't make it fact, many news editors are also just as small minded.

People are just people, and some of them aren't very nice no matter what their cultural background.

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome @HorrendousHexapod.

I’m not really sure what issues you’re having with different groups of people in society and the claims being made against them.

What I would say to you is that statistics and research can only show so much. Science is important, but it is critical to look at peoples’ lives as a whole. I think some of the things you were talking about could be related to social dynamics that do not show up in stats and research necessarily. Things like generational poverty, access to education, systemic racism, which are often too complex for certain types of data collection.

Then, remember that you are talking about human beings, and as much as we like to classify and generalize all people, you will have to consider the individual and unique experiences of people throughout their lives. And this goes for all people. From both sides of whatever arguments are troubling you.

As such, I would say, to allay some of your fears, start to meet more people. Get your head out of the books and the research and the news and talk to and learn about as many different people as you can from their own perspectives. Maybe you are not social and you don’t want to go to social events or anything. But with the internet there are amazing ways to meet people and to learn from people‘s individual perspectives. Science and research is important, yes. But hearing directly from individuals with lived experience can be a more comprehensive picture.

I think turning people into social groups and forgetting their individual human side can lead to some of these feelings that you are talking about.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

A few thoughts come to mind:
1. There's a lot in this world that we don't have control over, especially "the game and the players". The only thing you have some control over is how you conduct yourself. The internal battle with self-discipline and control.
2. Most thinking errors are due to misunderstandings of context, perspective, and cognitive biases. Be aware of partial truths.
3. The best lies are based upon truth.
4. Filtering your thoughts through emotions will distort reality.

 

[maycontainthunder]

@HorrendousHexapod , ignore what the media are telling you. By that I mean everything. No matter which way the media outlet leans they are warping what is being said for their own agenda.

Good news doesn't sell but doom and gloom always does.

Delete all your links to news sites and stay away from any TV channel that has so-called news on it.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

@HorrendousHexapod , ignore what the media are telling you. By that I mean everything. No matter which way the media outlet leans they are warping what is being said for their own agenda.

Good news doesn't sell but doom and gloom always does.

Delete all your links to news sites and stay away from any TV channel that has so-called news on it.

I understand where you are coming from, but I am not sure that avoiding the news is the best way to deal with biased information. You still need to be informed, somehow, of what is going on in your world. Ignorance is not a good thing. Biased information is based upon some kernel of truth, no doubt. Something is happening, even if the story is manipulated. If you're going to be an informed consumer of news, you have to consume both sides and the middle of a story, which takes some effort. More recently, I have found that Ground News does a decent job of this. They will take a story, show you where the articles are coming from, how factual it is, whether it tends to lean Right, Center, or Left. It will even give you YOUR statistics on how biased YOU are in your reading of the news. It allows me to see both sides of a story without having to click onto multiple news outlets. Something to consider.

 

[Rodafina]

I have found that Ground News does a decent job of this

I have also had a good experience with Ground News.

 

[Rodafina]

Here’s a couple more ideas for general catastrophizing.

 

[Hypnalis]

Treat the real problem (which isn't news, but what you focus on) as an addiction.

You can, as part of that, work on your critical thinking, but it's not so easy: there's an effectively infinite amount of expertly created disinformation available online.

 

[HorrendousHexapod]

I understand where you are coming from, but I am not sure that avoiding the news is the best way to deal with biased information. You still need to be informed, somehow, of what is going on in your world. Ignorance is not a good thing. Biased information is based upon some kernel of truth, no doubt. Something is happening, even if the story is manipulated. If you're going to be an informed consumer of news, you have to consume both sides and the middle of a story, which takes some effort. More recently, I have found that Ground News does a decent job of this. They will take a story, show you where the articles are coming from, how factual it is, whether it tends to lean Right, Center, or Left. It will even give you YOUR statistics on how biased YOU are in your reading of the news. It allows me to see both sides of a story without having to click onto multiple news outlets. Something to consider.

Honestly, I don’t really use the news as much and generally try to go straight to the source of the claims, i.e. the studies these people use. I’ve found out that quite a few of them are either quite dubious, with limited samples and dubious methodology, contradicted by others with similar methodologies, or only partially support their conclusions.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Honestly, I don’t really use the news as much and generally try to go straight to the source of the claims, i.e. the studies these people use. I’ve found out that quite a few of them are either quite dubious, with limited samples and dubious methodology, contradicted by others with similar methodologies, or only partially support their conclusions.

Exactly the underlying point of my first post. Partial truths, context, perspective, and cognitive bias. As long as you have your critical thinking cap on, it should serve you well.

 

[Misery]

As such, I would say, to allay some of your fears, start to meet more people. Get your head out of the books and the research and the news and talk to and learn about as many different people as you can from their own perspectives.

This is something I specifically want to point out here.

@HorrendousHexapod , I went through a rather similar thing awhile back, these sorts of anxieties and such, eventually culminating in a strange, anger-fueled anxiety attack... the worst I've ever had. I was such a complete mess...

But as usual, my father pulled me out of it, and he said something to me, something important:

"Realize this stuff you're hearing about and reading about as what it is... garbage. And sometimes just shady propaganda. Often both at once. And also realize that just because it comes over the airwaves or over the internet, and even if there are 'studies' done that you find... that doesnt make it true. Instead of listening to news, or reading this stuff, or any of that... if you want to learn more about the world, REALLY learn more about it, maybe get out there and see it for yourself. Explore and experience, rather than just hearing about things."

That's not word for word, as this was 3 years ago and I'm not good at direct quotes, but that's the gist of it. I cant tell you how much of a difference this made for me. I actually remind myself of this FREQUENTLY. Every other day or so, this comes to mind. And as always, he really was right about it. I've learned a lot more about the world around me, about other people, and even about myself and the things I deal with, by actually getting out there and exploring for myself, rather than taking in what others try to feed me.

And of course, if you get a chance, talk to someone who is experiencing a given thing themselves (whatever that thing is). Get their first-hand perspective... that's part of the exploration. But far from the only part.

That's my advice to you, or anyone else really.

 

[maycontainthunder]

I understand where you are coming from, but I am not sure that avoiding the news is the best way to deal with biased information. You still need to be informed, somehow, of what is going on in your world. Ignorance is not a good thing. Biased information is based upon some kernel of truth, no doubt. Something is happening, even if the story is manipulated. If you're going to be an informed consumer of news, you have to consume both sides and the middle of a story, which takes some effort. More recently, I have found that Ground News does a decent job of this. They will take a story, show you where the articles are coming from, how factual it is, whether it tends to lean Right, Center, or Left. It will even give you YOUR statistics on how biased YOU are in your reading of the news. It allows me to see both sides of a story without having to click onto multiple news outlets. Something to consider.

Fair point. My experience of the media here in the UK is they take a story and manipulate it into something it wasn't causing angst and upset.

I've not heard of Ground News before. I will have a look.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Fair point. My experience of the media here in the UK is they take a story and manipulate it into something it wasn't causing angst and upset.

I've not heard of Ground News before. I will have a look.

UK news doesn't sound much different than the US news. It's all about emotion, click-bait, and anything to separate us. Sometimes I really hate the human psyche. When it comes to the news, I really don't want anyone's opinion, bias, and conjecture. Back in the day, if television news or a newspaper wanted to give an opinion, it was labeled as an opinion. Now-a-days, it's 90% opinion and 10% facts, and they call it "news".

"United we stand, divided we fall" and sometimes I think there is a concerted effort do divide us, keep us distracted, keep us down, exploit our tribalistic weaknesses, while the real people in power are figuring out ways to extract all the wealth. Opinion, of course.

 

[Tom]

I find avoiding news, social media, etc, useful. Anything that provokes anxiety or other negative response. Only allow in things that don't upset you, to extent possible at least. Kind of like mental dieting.

 

[Swansong]

Sounds to me like a sort of anxiety disorder, a compulsion of sorts.

There's absolutely no reason or purpose to even be thinking about these things, guilt about what? nothing anyone does or believes online actually matters, it's just that the Internet culture has developed in a way where there's this belief that you have to be informed on everything, have an opinion on anything and that's not really how the human mind evolved to work and in any case, again, it does not matter.

The world is a horrible place, it has always been, is and will be. That you or anyone else in particular holds any given belief or not about this or that subject makes absolutely no difference whatsoever. There's no point in being informed about anything, everyone should just live their lives and disregard anything else, at least if it will affect them negatively.

But then again, this sounds a lot like intrusive thoughts to me which is a common feature of anxiety disorders. And you're not going to get cured of any actual illness by way of what anyone online tells you.

 

[Rogue Princess]

It makes sense to me a vast majority of blacks would commit crimes. If you're not valued or have an equal place in society why would you abide by societies rules?

 

[ra49]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here, and it’s about something I’ve been struggling with for a while. right now I’m a bit lost on what to do and would like some help with my problem.

For the last couple of years I have delved into some unsavoury things regarding politics, generally terrible things regarding different groups of people, such as women, people of colour, people of different sexual orientations, etc. While most people would typically just ignore this stuff and move on with their lives, but for some reason I just can’t do that, and seem to obsess over certain claims being made about different groups of people, especially since some of them use science to prove their points, so I force myself to analyse as much as I can no matter how much I hate it.

But I just can’t take it any more. I feel like I’m living in this constant state of fear and anxiety that I’m wrong about everything and that something will come along that will force me to view the world in a negative light. I’ve tried so long to combat the things I’ve read with my own research, but I can only do so much. And half of the time some of it doesn’t even make any sense or is just so confusing.

For example, some people have made the claim that the majority of black people have committed crimes, causing me to force myself to look into crime statistics regarding unreported crime, arrest rates, and so on, and do calculations on a percentage calculator even though I suck at math. At best, the numbers are alarmingly high, which worry me but I keep telling myself that I have to be unbiased and try to accept it, but at worst, the numbers literally make no sense whatsoever, no matter which way I slice it. And there’s so many unaccountable variables and contradictory studies that I don’t know what to believe most of the time, yet my mind constantly goes to the worst case scenario.

I’m just so tired of all of this. I get no joy out of doing any of this, and it feels like some massive weight is being pushed down on top of me, but I force myself to do it because I worry that if I don’t them I’m just remaining wilfully ignorant, or that I’m just disrespecting the suffering of others for the sake of my own beliefs. On numerous occasions, I just replay things that I already obsessed over months ago, worrying that I missed something the last time I did this, but sometimes I’ll go back and find nothing, and if I decide to be stubborn and say no to myself the guilt will eat away at me. Even on days when I don’t do any of this, the constant nagging and catastrophizing still hums away in the back of my mind like some kind of terrible song that’s stuck in my head and I just want it all to end.

Every time I try to stop I always get a few weeks of peace, before the guilt becomes too overwhelming and the cycle just begins again with some new or old. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I just really need some help.

Horrendous Hexapod, I call it going down a rabbit hole (like Alice in Wonderland) and don't generally realize I've done it again until I'm pretty far down.
You didn't say whether you are working with a therapist? If so, maybe they could help with CBT exercises?

Realizing that everyone has an agenda and a unique perspective, can you just leave it at that: that's what they think, but you neither have to agree or believe, simply accept that is their thought and go on about your own business?

 

[Shevek]

"I am an old man, and I have seen many troubles, most of which never happened."
- Mark Twain

 

[undertheradar]

Wait a minute... Catastrophizing is a symptom of ASD as well? Ah crap

This is yet another thing that I'm prone to doing