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How did you learn of your AS thread

N

nowwhat

Well-Known Member
Not sure if this thread will go anywhere, and I know many of you have shared your stories here and there. I'm very curious of how each of you learned of your inclusion in the spectrum. I'd like to ask each of you individually, especially in Chat, but that get repetitious, so I'll try this method. I'll go first. Apologies to those of you who know this already, but most don't

Found out 8 years ago, at 40, after literally searching the web trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was tired of feeling sad and exhausted after the socializing that everyone else seemed to thrive in. I was tired of feeling that I didn't fit in, and sick of all my social gaffes and the endless awkward moments I'd created. And my lifestyle was one of virtually constant socializing and group activities. It was beginning to kill me. I didn't know what was going on, but I could see that it wasn't getting any better. Reality was beginning to impose itself through my optimistic ignorance. I was finally looking for answers. I had never heard of AS, and finding a description of it, from childhood on, was like reading a script of my life. Hence my user name, shortened from "so now what?"

Therefore, I am self diagnosed, but no shoe could fit better, so I wear it.
 
A family member told me that I have AS. Of course I didn't believe them. As part of their campaign to convince me, they sent me a link to one or two youtube videos about Aspies. I didn't relate to the videos. But I clicked on the links out of bored curiosity, and then on youtube found suggested video on AS in women, and when I watched that video it was like: Wow! So I next did intensive research reading, watching everything I could on the subject, and the fact of my AS grew clearer the whole time.
 
It was a light bulb moment for me, when my son was diagnosed 12 years ago. Everything they were telling me about my son, was my childhood. Despite finally finding out, I was bitter, resentful and felt robbed. Many years of denial was to follow, which was catastrophic, for my marriage. Although im not proud of it, my wife gave me an ultimatum 2 years ago. Ive spent these years in reflection and with therapists, which has moved me forward. Which now has my journey bringing me to the steps of Aspie Central
 
In my case, it's kind of odd. I was actually diagnosed at the age of 16, but it didn't really mean anything to me, and I don't know if that's because it wasn't adequately explained to me, or whether I was simply oblivious, or didn't care. It wasn't until several years later, during one of my several psychiatric hospitalizations, that the attending looked at my background and brought it up with me. That finally led me being referred to a therapist, one of whose specialties is ASD. Since then, I've explored it more, applied it to my own experiences both past and current, and at the urging of my best friend, I searched out an online community and found one here...and since then, I have learned loads.
 
As part of a school activity and for personal humour, we could take a personality disorder test. While everyone elses seemed to be quite on par with what was expected, mine displayed...well, lets just say they were some strange results :)
After that point I became a bit more aware of how different I actually was. I even remember telling my family at one point, "It's as if I'm not even human, and that this is the wrong planet for me!". It's pretty funny to later realise that many Aspies describe themselves as people on the wrong planet.

After some thorough internet research I discovered that many of my traits fell into the Autism Spectrum and so my trip down the rabbit hole began. I was soon diagnosed, and immediately after the diagnosis, I signed up for this forum site. Its quite nice to know that while I was (am) significantly different from everyone around me, there was someone out there that was similar in nature and possibly 'species' :)
 
I've got the full story on my blog for anyone who wants a more in-depth version of my story: Here Goes! | AspiesCentral.com

Here's the short version:

I figured it out after watching an episode of House :p

It was around November 2013. My sister and I had never seen House consistently before, from start to finish, so started binge watching it all. The episode that clued me in was called 'Lines in the Sand,' where an autistic boy (who did not speak) was admitted, and Dr. House needed to communicate with him in order to properly diagnose him.

This episode prompted me to do some research, which allowed me to also stumble across this website (along with you lovely people :)), and eventually led me to my self-diagnoses.
 
I will soon be 70 and I didn't learn that I had AS until my 60s. I knew I was an alien among all the "normal" people in this world. I never had many friends and never fit in or felt comfortable anywhere. My mother constantly berated me for being selfish and contrary. She told me I thought I was better than everybody else. My peers made fun of me and I gave then plenty of ammunition because I was a very good student, wore glasses and was fat. I don't recall ever being very happy and I lost myself in books. As an adult my inability to recognize people whom I should have known immediately further ostracized me. When I was in my 40s I heard an NPR interview of Dr. Oliver Sacks and he described some types neurological problems which led me to consider my facial recognition problems might be neurological. Computers became the norm and I used to surf for information about recognition difficulties from time to time. Finally, I found a site about face blindness and I learned I have Prosopagnosia. I do have a neurological flaw in my brain's ability to store and recall other peoples' facial images. I participated on a wonderful forum by and for people with prosopagnosia. This forum is tolerant of off topic discussions and it became obvious that face blind folks often had some other odd or unpopular "flaw." Quite a few members shared that they were on the autism spectrum and eventually a number of members discussed their problems with AS. A light bulb went off in my head and I took several online tests for autism/Asperger syndrome. From these tests there was no doubt that I am an Aspie. The diagnosis for prosopagnosia was free from a Harvard PhD doing research, but I can't afford a professional diagnosis for AS. Still, I have no doubt that I am on the spectrum. I am at peace with myself for being weird, but remain angry that the general public doesn't understand what is "wrong" with me. My parents are dead and how I wish I could have confronted them with this knowledge. In fact, I am certain that my father was a severe Aspie. My mother constantly belittled both him and me for being deliberately contrary. Boy, do I wish she could come back so I could give her a piece of my mind!
 
I found out last summer when my mom came to me and told me that my little sister's cheerleading teammate's mom's daughter has high functioning autism and that she thinks i do too. She'd started listing off traits and behaviors and i agreed but me being me i wanted to look it all up on my own. I did and at first i wasn't sure cause of course what comes up first, the boys presentation. But when i looked up how it typically presents in girls, it was spot on. Since then we've just all agreed, me and my immediate family, that i have high functioning autism. I've never been diagnosed though - not only is it expensive but as an adult, there's little if anything in the way of services that would benefit me and make make getting an official diagnosis worth it. It would be nice, though, but it would involve more schedule shifting and people interaction than i'm comfortable with just for the sake of my own peace of mind.
 
First time I heard of Aspergers was maybe 3-5 years ago from an organist who said he had it.

Other than that, first I read a book about auditory processing disorder because I've never been able to hear with background noise, and was always accused of not listening, etc. Applied to me some. Then I wiki'd it and it said also see Aspergers. That seemed to describe me very well. Then I went looking at the bookstore, no local bookstores have anything on Aspergers but do have 1 or 2 on autism, so I read those. Basically everything applied to me, even the overactive senses which I never thought would be related to that. So I'm most likely AS or HFA, and either way it is comforting that there are reasons for how I've always been, and that there are so many more like me out there and on this forum. It also describes how my grandpa was exactly, and my daughter in some ways.
 
My mom sat me down at the dining toom table told me about it one morning after watching me and studying autism for three years. At first I was a bit shocked to find that there were other people in the world with quirks like mine, but after I studied it myself for a while, everything made sense.
 
OK well my story is this. when I was kid people always said I was strange and a bit off. That I had gaps in my learning and didn't act like other kids but at the time they didn't know autism could be more than severe or other than in boys. So fast forward to teen years I had issues with making and keeping friends. Not understanding them and had what people would call situational depression so I went to a therapist to learn to make friends again they didn't think I could have autism because I was girl...move on in to college and getting my masters degree. I was working with my supervisor during my internship and he brought up that he felt like i had Aspergers we went over all the criteria and I matched them as well as a co-intern who worked with kids on the spectrum for her job who also agreed that I had AS(just fyi I am clinical social worker so my internship was doing that). Then I got re-evaluated because of the new DSM but before the criteria changed. I was diagnosed with Aspergers/PDD-NOS (because he works more with boys than girls), NVLD(nonverbal learning disablitiy) and OCD-NOS with Social Anxiety and general Anxiety. I was 28yrs old when I was formally introduced to it in myself and diagnosed. I am 32yrs old now. I always felt akin to those on the spectrum I just had never realized why.
 
I was diagnosed first as LD, then ADHD, then once I got out of school, I was misdiagnosed w/ mental illness & thus thrown into mental health programs which were not right to me. Though I've heard about Aspergers, I did not put 2+2 together till I was in my early 40s, & I realized my social awkwardness, being bullied, not fitting in anywhere, etc was due to aspergers, which led me to pursue a proper diagnosis, which I finally got after a few years of frustrating dead ends.
 
Tales of misdiagnosis and "professional" incompetence like this are only one reason that I have virtually no desire for an official diagnosis. I would tend to trust the many, repeated and uncanny similarities between myself and other "certified" aspies here, more than the opinion of a single, flawed, fallible, possibly idiotic human being (who charges handsomely by the hour)
 
I found out on April 2013 My doctor has a little boy with aspergers. my mom told her my history, and it matched her sons. and she told me i had aspergers. i told my doctor and he said i was stupid. but today he said he understands me. so right now i am undiagnosed Aspergers. but am waiting for a diagnosis.
 
I was diagnosed really young, so young I don’t even remember the actual diagnostic process. I was always different, but never actually noticed this on my own. When my parents decided to tell me they gave me a book to read. I forgot the title, but I remember it had the words “An Aspergers Adventure” on the cover. I guess they thought that reading it I would notice some similarities between the main character and me… but nope. I had no clue that I was different, to me this just seemed like a story about some kid. Of course looking back it seems so obvious, but hindsight is always 20/20. When I was finally told I didn’t take it well. I went through the five stages of grieving death: denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. Odd, since no one had died, but that was my reaction.
 
nowwhat said:
Not sure if this thread will go anywhere, and I know many of you have shared your stories here and there. I'm very curious of how each of you learned of your inclusion in the spectrum. I'd like to ask each of you individually, especially in Chat, but that get repetitious, so I'll try this method. I'll go first. Apologies to those of you who know this already, but most don't

Found out 8 years ago, at 40, after literally searching the web trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was tired of feeling sad and exhausted after the socializing that everyone else seemed to thrive in. I was tired of feeling that I didn't fit in, and sick of all my social gaffes and the endless awkward moments I'd created. And my lifestyle was one of virtually constant socializing and group activities. It was beginning to kill me. I didn't know what was going on, but I could see that it wasn't getting any better. Reality was beginning to impose itself through my optimistic ignorance. I was finally looking for answers. I had never heard of AS, and finding a description of it, from childhood on, was like reading a script of my life. Hence my user name, shortened from "so now what?"

Therefore, I am self diagnosed, but no shoe could fit better, so I wear it.
Click to expand...

I first learned after I had to leave pharmacy tech school. The good thing about not being able to finish was the detailed student evaluation and the help I got from an employment agency called the Open Door Group in Kamloops BC. I was able to give the information to a psychologist where I was tested intensively for two days. After a gruelling seven-week wait I found out that I had Asperger's. All my life I had trouble following up my schooling into successful careers. When it came to working with others I was constantly anxious, troubled, silent, and withdrawn. Though I excelled at academic subjects in theory it was a disaster using motor skills and teamwork skills to be practical in the world. Sure, I answered "photosynthesis" in grade 6 class about how plants made food, and I could read correctly a ten-digit number in elementary school. But when it came to social and motor skills, disaster plagued me constantly. Now I can piece things together and it makes sense under the diagnosis.
 
Arashi222 said:
OK well my story is this. when I was kid people always said I was strange and a bit off. That I had gaps in my learning and didn't act like other kids but at the time they didn't know autism could be more than severe or other than in boys. So fast forward to teen years I had issues with making and keeping friends. Not understanding them and had what people would call situational depression so I went to a therapist to learn to make friends again they didn't think I could have autism because I was girl...move on in to college and getting my masters degree. I was working with my supervisor during my internship and he brought up that he felt like i had Aspergers we went over all the criteria and I matched them as well as a co-intern who worked with kids on the spectrum for her job who also agreed that I had AS(just fyi I am clinical social worker so my internship was doing that). Then I got re-evaluated because of the new DSM but before the criteria changed. I was diagnosed with Aspergers/PDD-NOS (because he works more with boys than girls), NVLD(nonverbal learning disablitiy) and OCD-NOS with Social Anxiety and general Anxiety. I was 28yrs old when I was formally introduced to it in myself and diagnosed. I am 32yrs old now. I always felt akin to those on the spectrum I just had never realized why.
Click to expand...

I had a very similar diagnosis myself - I had Asperger's, LD-NOS, and Social Anxiety / Depression. I guess this co-morbid combination is common in the Asperger's population. When it comes to learning new practical skills I have a terrible memory beyond a few short sequences.
 
I have always known something was different about me. Then about a year ago a friend of mine who is a vet posted a Temple Grandin video on Facebook. I watched it just out of curiosity because it looked like an interesting video on animals. When she started talking about her childhood she was pretty much describing my own childhood. After doing some reading on the internet and this forum, then taking a few of the online tests, there was no doubt that I was an aspie.
 
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