How do I resist the urge to interact with an individual that was toxic to me and others?

[mysterionz]

the person that gaslighted me almost a year ago has a YouTube channel that I found today where they upload similar content to me. They get to roam insta and put that action behind them… I quit insta because of it. They gaslighted and harassed me, and called my art poopoo.

This caused me to desert my biggest interest at the time Nintendo because I associated it with them.
Should I apologize to this person or should I not interact with them, period?
They harassed others, including some of my mutuals at the time.

I’m hurt even a year later. Attached below is the artstyle they criticized with no CC behind it Vs my art now. I’m afraid that if I contacted them they would continue the same behavior as before.

I have a bunch of my art from last year sitting in my google photos album. Should I redraw them?
What should I do in a situation like this?

 

[Darkkin]

It sounds almost like a sensory seeking behaviour or in this context a deliberately triggered emotional reaction just to feel a reaction, whether positive or negative.

Take a close look at your motivation to do so. Consider what is there to be gained from it, is it realistically worth the emotional cost?

Edit your art if it feels right to you, but keep in mind that art is entirely subject to the individual. Does one person's opinion matter that much?

 

[mysterionz]

It sounds almost like a sensory seeking behaviour or in this context a deliberately triggered emotional reaction just to feel a reaction, whether positive or negative.

Take a close look at your motivation to do so. Consider what is there to be gained from it, is it realistically worth the emotional cost?

I prob don’t need to drag myself down anymore. I know I sound silly by asking this, but what refers to a “deliberately triggered emotional reaction just to feel a reaction, whether positive or negative.”

 

[Darkkin]

Basically it means consciously returning to the orbit of toxic person and/or situation and openly engaging with the toxic source to get an endorphin rush.

In such situations the fight or flight reactions are primed to fire because of a prior encounter. A bit like riding a roller coaster one can feel both terrified and reckless at the same time. It is a neurotransmitter cocktail that can profoundly impact one's reasonable inhibitions.

One gets a rush from a negative interaction, but chemically the message is very similar to endorphin rushes triggered by positive imput, as well. When one is struggling to find a positive trigger, a negative trigger such as a confrontation with a toxic individual can seem like an interesting idea, just to see what happens.

Will history repeat itself?

The bald answer, yes. Trolls never change.

Instead of seeking out the troll, take an objective look at your work. You've given it time to sublimate, so you will be looking at the work with fresh eyes.

I cannot do anything creative to save my soul, but I do know a bit about the editing process (writing specifically). I have no qualifications to critique art of any form, but yours looks nice. Allowing work to rest is important, you've done that so if you are going to edit now would be a good time.

There is a subforum in the Hobbies section of this forum that is geared toward things like digital art.

 

[Fino]

Apologize for what? Make contact why? I'm confused.

 

[Xerces Blue]

looks like a chibi anime style to me.
Nothing to insult someone over - unless they're looking for clout.
Means they're most likely a talentless hack.
And if they're more talented then they're punching down which means they're either a sadistic-failure-loser or a "SUPER STUPID clumsy mentor" if I feel like being nice which I'm not.
They're acting like a crab in a bucket - pulling the other crabs down when they start doing well so no-one escapes the bucket.

 

[Aspychata]

looks like a chibi anime style to me.
Nothing to insult someone over - unless they're looking for clout.
Means they're most likely a talentless hack.
And if they're more talented then they're punching down which means they're either a sadistic-failure-loser or a "SUPER STUPID clumsy mentor" if I feel like being nice which I'm not.
They're acting like a crab in a bucket - pulling the other crabs down when they start doing well so no-one escapes the bucket.

That describes humanity, a bunch of crabs climbing over each other only to jump into a boiling pot of water.

But now there is a seafood shortage.

 

[Xerces Blue]

True @Aspychata but there it's not all doom and gloom.
After you climb over your fellow man you can then pull them up and over the wall or you can push others up and they might pull you up after them.

I'm in a better mood today so I don't want to only spread spite and fury.

 

[Aspychata]

True @Aspychata but there it's not all doom and gloom.
After you climb over your fellow man you can then pull them up and over the wall or you can push others up and they might pull you up after them.

I'm in a better mood today so I don't want to only spread spite and fury.

I have gone crabbing. So seeing all those crabs in the pail just tweaked my brain, and l was off reminiscing. Lol

 

[Xerces Blue]

Mmmh crab meat

 

[paloftoon]

This former friend of yours does him and you do you.
It sounds like you have nothing to apologize to this person for if you did nothing wrong to this person.
You should probably block all of his social media and block and delete contacts of his as it sounds like he was intentionally malicious to you.
It doesn't matter what he does at this point.
Look for activities and hobbies that are going to help your life journey and not bring you down- that can be the same things you were doing before or maybe some kind of improvement on that.
Sounds like this person knew you lacked confidence and wanted to jump on that. People have human nature to do such ugly things. Find things that will help you break away from this situation and help you elevate yourself.
The first step, again, is to cease all contact with this person immediately. If you must, you can send a final e-mail saying that your past contact with him is bringing you down and that you need focus on yourself more and don't have energy to consider keeping contact with him. Try to avoid blaming him in any communication you send to him- just if you send him a final thing, close off the communication. You can "blame" yourself only in writing to him for causing this closure, but whatever it takes for you to separate yourself from him and improve your own life.