how do people get over a lover moving away.

[Jonathan Lees]

hey, so ive been seeing someone these past few months and it has been going really well, ive never met anyone quite like her and she is exactly what ive spent so long looking for in a partner, we get on really well, always have a good time together, share interests and im comfortable with her despite aspergers in a way ive never been with anyone before including close family etc.

unfortunately she is moving away to a different country soon, neither of us see a long distance relationship working, im happy for her being able to travel, experience new things etc. its just a shame that those circumstances mean we wont be able to see one another. she was clear when we met and started seeing one another that she would be leaving the country before her visa runs out so its not a surprise or anything. im just trying to prepare so that i can cope with her leaving because i will miss her a lot.

i guess i should be glad for the internet and modern technology because at least we will be able to stay in some sort of contact but its not the same as spending time in person together. i guess i should also be glad that things will be ending on good terms and only due to circumstance rather than falling out etc.

any advice on how to say goodbye in a meaningful way? since i struggle with goodbyes.
or advice on how to cope with a lover leaving?

 

[ksheehan88]

I can't offer any advice... I struggle with just not seeing someone for a few days, so no idea how I'd cope with someone leaving permanently...

But I hope someone will have some helpful advice for you

 

[Jonathan Lees]

I can't offer any advice... I struggle with just not seeing someone for a few days, so no idea how I'd cope with someone leaving permanently...

But I hope someone will have some helpful advice for you

thank you very much for your kind words, im hoping its not permanent to be fair, once ive finished my masters degree i plan to travel for a bit, provided we stay in contact there is always the chance well run into one another on our travels every once in a while. the world isn't that big haha.

 

[The Penguin]

unfortunately she is moving away to a different country soon, neither of us see a long distance relationship working, im happy for her being able to travel, experience new things etc.

Well it depends how much a person means to you and how far you go for someone. I had a long distance relationship with someone in Europe for 8 years. I live in Canada. We didn't get a chance to see each other frequent but we did visit each other country time to time.

I known many people been in long distance relationship and was able to one day able to relocate.

I'm the type of person if someone means that much to me, I just go for it.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I've never had a girlfriend but from all the time I've spent watching other people's relationships crash and burn it seems to be the general consensus is that time's a healer and so is someone else.

 

[ksheehan88]

I've never had a girlfriend but from all the time I've spent watching other people's relationships crash and burn it seems to be the general consensus is that time's a healer and so is someone else.

Indeed, time will make it easier...

As will someone else... but that all depends on what the someone else is.

A casual someone else may help in the short term, but for long term happiness and fulfilment you'll need to properly heal from this one before going into another relationship. I think that is where so many people fail... jumping from one relationship straight into another

 

[Jonathan Lees]

Well it depends how much a person means to you and how far you go for someone. I had a long distance relationship with someone in Europe for 8 years. I live in Canada. We didn't get a chance to see each other frequent but we did visit each other country time to time.

I known many people been in long distance relationship and was able to one day able to relocate.

I'm the type of person if someone means that much to me, I just go for it.

well she means a lot to me, we will stay in contact and if ever the chance appears to meet up again we will probably take it and have fun together, however im not sure id call that situation a relationship though, sure i understand that many people have had great experiences with long distance relationships but to me its not enough i need irl contact for me to consider it a relationship.

I've never had a girlfriend but from all the time I've spent watching other people's relationships crash and burn it seems to be the general consensus is that time's a healer and so is someone else.

well our relationship isn't crashing and burning, just ending due to circumstance, if we were able to stay together then the relationship would continue quite happily. thanks for the advice though im sure time will make things easier.

Indeed, time will make it easier...

As will someone else... but that all depends on what the someone else is.

A casual someone else may help in the short term, but for long term happiness and fulfilment you'll need to properly heal from this one before going into another relationship. I think that is where so many people fail... jumping from one relationship straight into another

as for someone else, im poly-amorous and so is the lover who is leaving, we both had other casual partners while being together seriously and ill continue to be with other people casually after she is gone, others wont help me get over her even in the short term though because ill be missing her the unique individual and the deep level of connection we had which ive never had with others so no new people will help me get over her as they wont be her. that being said if i ever do meet someone of equal calibre id consider a serious relationship again and that might help my missing her but ive never met someone who is her equal so it may be a while and by that point time will likely have healed any sadness at seeing her go.

 

[The Penguin]

but to me its not enough i need irl contact for me to consider it a relationshi

Fair enough. Each person is different.