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How do you cope when family are putting you down?

Cultivate positivity if possible, but remember that many people will not amend their ways but see you as an easy target. Surround yourself with good friends & let that be your new social circle.
 
Some families have a negative way of expressing themselves. My own family does this. For me, after many years of trying to get them to change, I have basically, given up. I can't force them to treat me with respect but I can certainly tell them when they aren't.
Be careful with this approach. To do it right you have to be tough and remain unaffected by their antics.
But, I didn't start this way. I moved out as soon as I could because getting away from the negativity was easier.
 
I've long since written off "family".
Mean spirited and just overall nasty people, only nice when they want money.
After that, well let's just say there is a bit less irritation on day-to-day going ons. Luckily for me my brain does not really understand these relationships and mostly go the rational and practical way that made it easy for me to just cut them off.
 
Binary_Bark said:
I've long since written off "family".
Mean spirited and just overall nasty people, only nice when they want money.
After that, well let's just say there is a bit less irritation on day-to-day going ons. Luckily for me my brain does not really understand these relationships and mostly go the rational and practical way that made it easy for me to just cut them off.
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This is half of my family (replace "money" with anything, really). Never invited to anything (except for last minute...I mean, 20 minutes before the event I'd get a text like "you're coming right?"), never call or text to see how I'm doing, never want to just have dinner and catch up etc.

But as soon as they want something, they know my name, my number, and my work schedule. "I need you to be here at 10am". Haha nope. Add in a bonus dose of expecting me to look past decades of abuse and in the end I blocked all their numbers, moved an hour away and didn't tell any of them I was leaving.
 
SDRSpark said:
This is half of my family (replace "money" with anything, really). Never invited to anything (except for last minute...I mean, 20 minutes before the event I'd get a text like "you're coming right?"), never call or text to see how I'm doing, never want to just have dinner and catch up etc.

But as soon as they want something, they know my name, my number, and my work schedule. "I need you to be here at 10am". Haha nope. Add in a bonus dose of expecting me to look past decades of abuse and in the end I blocked all their numbers, moved an hour away and didn't tell any of them I was leaving.
Click to expand...

Family can be pleasant, or they can be difficult and sometimes, like in your and my case, it's better for your own health just to say screw'em and cut them off like a rotten limb.
 
Binary_Bark said:
Family can be pleasant, or they can be difficult and sometimes, like in your and my case, it's better for your own health just to say screw'em and cut them off like a rotten limb.
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especially when they make fun of us or mimick us for making a simple mistake relentlessly while snapping at us or yelling at us over every little thing, along with every little thing we do or say,they expect us to listen to what they tell us,even if it`s a lie,not them listening to what we try telling them (how any of them are mentally,especially if they have a mental disorder (bipolar) that causes them to make them act like that) & they expect us to do or say nothing about it (respond,answer them back) at the cost of a meltdown :mad::angry::imp::rage:,up to the point where you`ve had enough & you start doing or saying things to them that they don`t like until they stop,based on how crazy it is & how far it goes :mad::angry::imp::rage:.
 
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Suzette said:
Some families have a negative way of expressing themselves. My own family does this. For me, after many years of trying to get them to change, I have basically, given up. I can't force them to treat me with respect but I can certainly tell them when they aren't.
Be careful with this approach. To do it right you have to be tough and remain unaffected by their antics.
But, I didn't start this way. I moved out as soon as I could because getting away from the negativity was easier.
Click to expand...
Thankyou for the advice
 
I'd have to have an example of what you believe to be being put down. That someone says something to me that I don't like doesn't make it a put down even if it hurts. It could be a hard Truth. Generally words are not what sets me off, it's actions or lack thereof. But it also depends on whether the person is in a reasonable position to claim what they're saying. A person with a dumpster fire for a life making claims about my life doesn't register as important enough to care about what's being said so I'd just ignore them.
 
Nick12 said:
i just tell them to stop
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i antagonize mine to get them to stop through making them at the same time,mainly my mother whenever i get yelled at by her over every little mistake i make,as well as simple ones,relentlessly rushing me to be on point with everything like her & lowly expecting me to do absolutely nothing even at the cost of forgetting things easily & an extremely behavioral meltdown by cursing her out,yelling at her like she does to me or both:mad: :angry: :imp: :rage: while she can get smart with me about those simple mistakes i'm referring to but when it's the other way around,it's a problem,she even goads me to say something smart & every time i do,she'll
rearrange
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everything in my room & also lowly expecting me to do absolutely & extremely nothing about it :mad: :angry: :imp: :rage:.
 
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A few had to be cut off
My immediate family, my parents aren't that terrible to deal with
They still make life hard for me in numerous ways, but it's nothing I can't deal with.
I recommend the Grey Rock Method, It's not easy but it's way better than escalating into a drama fight
Sometimes if they push it too far (they do this when something is wrong with their day and they try to make me their punching bag) I abruptly cut contact.

This post made me realise that I have a very superficial relationship with them and I won't change that.
 
They don't put me down, maybe only playfully..but if they did.....

smug american psycho GIF
 
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